Would you listen to your head or heart?

Question

I am 24 and have fallen for a very sweet, supportive, loving man who is religous and stays in church. I have complete trust in him. We have been dating for a year and half and haven't had sex because of me (virgin). I love him dearly but i keep telling myself i wll have to end it with him sometime in the furture if he doesn't get his life together. We come from two different backgrounds. He doesn't have a good paying job, no car (so i drive everywhere) and lives with his mother (because of bad credit) at 33yrs old. He hasn't even met my parents because of his circumstances .I am really scared to do anything with him because if i got pregnant he couldn't support a child. He is such a good man internally and that is soo hard to find now-a-days. So do i follow my head or heart?

Answer 1

Money is an impt factor for a family bt it shld nt be the reason y u reject a guy whom u really love. If u follow ur head, u might regret somedays later. Try asking urself how much u love this guy, n how much are u willing to sacrifice/ gif up for him.

Ur heart will tells u what to do. Before u make any decisions, make sure that it was really what u want n not because of what others had said. Best wishes. =)

Answer 2

Finding someone who is a good person is always a good catch. However, if you have something that is bothering you now, it will continue to bother you until you find the solution. He sounds like a really nice guy, but if he has no motivation to live a family life, (Money,Job) and you are a family type of woman, then he is not the one for you. You cant change someone if that person does not want to be changed. You can try, but if you cannot succeed, then it is time to do something like just give each other space to understand what each other wants. He has to come to the party if he wants you bad. Time for him to catch a real world wake up call. Children are expensive and you must have a decent lifestyle if you want to give them the best. I believe in God and I myself a Christian. What he is doing is good, how about he starts to study again to be a Pastor or Priest. Theology I think is the subject. It is never too late to study. He can do that, maybe make enough money from that to lead a lifestyle to support you and a family. And better, life the life he loves! Maybe take a study loan, TALK about this with him straight and get your lifestyles and future right on Track!

Answer 3

There's nothing as beautiful as getting married or even just having a child with a person everybody loves, especially your parents. Suppose you followed your heart, would you accept looking after your family without any frustration that your spouse isn't contributing much? and for how long? If your father is a bread winner, then you definitely wont live with him for long. If you really love him then i suggest you help him get his life together, he might not realise the necessity on his own, tell him what your priorities are and what you really expect him to be- but do this in a loving way. If he doest comply then leave him, that will be a sign that he does not want to be responsible. Girlfriend you deserve happiness till your end, so though good men are rare, a responsible and hardworking man is vital. Before you follow your head, try your heart by helping him first. Good luck!!!

Answer 4

Do you want a lecture or do you know the answer? 33 with no job, no credit, no money and lives with his mommy. . .LOSER. . . .He's looking for another mother that will support him and take care of him while he professes to be sooooo good. . . and doesn't have to work. Most men that are "that" sweet, supportive and loving are looking for something that you have. That would be your willingness to take care of him. You have wasted a good deal of time on him. Stop looking for him to jump up and become Prince Charming. It's not going to happen. Unless you want to support him for the rest of your life and have nothing because he won't work, then stay with him. He will suck you dry and then you will find out he really wasn't such a nice person. He is pretending. He's telling you what you want to hear. Be very very careful. He's a user. Betcha. . .

Answer 5

Your heart. Jobs come and go, money comes and goes, credit can be fixed, living arrangements can be changed, you can always buy a car, but if you deeply trust him, stick around.

Introduce him to your parents! If he's that great then why not? Don't worry about getting pregnant right now. Ask him what his intentions are with you. If you have different goals in life, then leave. If you're embarassed of him, well my friend, that isn't part of love. Follow your heart, and stop making excuses for him.

Answer 6

i know how you feel. i had an ex same as that. sweet but still lives with parents, etc. is he a virgo by any chance?

i think it's better to find another one..there are alot of other guys out there. if i were in your shoes, i'd rather not sacrifice the rest of my life to be a breadwinner for the family. it's too hard!

i know there will come a time when your body can't keep up with what you are feeling anymore. (more stress than love). but then when you are willing to do those for him, he's found gold! but i don't think you'll live up to being a "martyr" for the rest of your life together.

Answer 7

It appears to me dear that you are contradicting yourself. A lovinging supportive man that stays in church and has been with you for over a year and has not insisted that you have sex with him..........says a lot. But you are ashamed of who he is; I say that b/c you have not introduced him to your parents. How does he feel about this.........

Financial problems does not go away overnight. It has taken me 5 years to pay off reckless credit card charging. Not everyone has a good paying job. It's what you do with what you have. In this day and age it's not uncommon for the female to make more than the male.............

Not saying that he doesn't need to strive to have a home of his home. Each individual does.

*Enough said: Follow your head and your heart.

Good luck

Answer 8

Any man of 33 who still lives with 'mommy' is
absolutely 'NOT' good husband material...
What makes you think things would be better if
you two got married? If he can't afford to support himself, and at least have his own car,
then how would he be able to support a wife and family..This man is using you dearie, and obviously has 'no' intention of bettering himself.
Why would he want to ruin an 'already' good thing knowing you take him everywhere in 'your'
car, and if I wager a guess, you probably pay
for most of the things you do together...
PLEASE!!! Do yourself a favor and find a 'real'
man, one who will be able to take care of you..
One who will 'not' use you!!
He sure sounds like some 'real' christain indeed.
'GOOD' christian men don't use women!!!
And he 'IS' using you..

Answer 9

the chocie between luv n money is found very hard 4 a lot of ppl....but u shudnt feel that way. u hav a gud head on your shoulders, n ur logic is tellin u to leave him. but the fact that ur not gone yet,n that ur hesitant bout your decision shows that u r not willing 2 giv up this man, n for good reason....he seems wonderful =) see if you can help him with his financial situation? perhaps go job hunting with him? itl b tuff 4 awile...but ul pull thru =)!! dont give up on him!

Answer 10

You already know what is in your heart and your head is telling you he is not a mature enough individual to sustain a family relationship. Logic is as important as love. Go with your head.