im going to leave and move back with my son and ex as i miss our family. my current b/f did not get the point over 16 months that he has let his mom interfer i have grown tired,stressed, depressed and at wits end. did i love him? yes but i thought i was dating him not mommy too. we never do nothing go anywhere or have a life. the past summer the most we did was went fishing which i enjoy. however, mommy made it a big deal. if i go back home it wont be like this. i will have my space. and love, if it comes around okay. if not im content. i wont cheat i firmly believe in being faithfull to the person your with. i feel sad for my boyfriend who will hate me like all his other numbers but im not happy here. no room to breath. opinions please?he wont die? i think she wants me to feel guilty and boss me like him.
2007-02-08 17:31:10 · 13 answers · asked by greg b 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My mom would be glad you to see you leave. She HATES my ex and loves the fact im not with her. Part of the reason why my mom hates her so much is that i choose my ex over her and she didn't like that. His mom is very controlling and until she is put in her place he won't have a good relationship. I guess it all depends on why you left your "family" in the first place?
2007-02-08 17:39:59 · answer #1 · answered by Dereck 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe her son/ your ex bf is simply an emotional unstable person. His mom wants the best for him, which is you currently. However, if you were to move out, and him finding someone else, his mom wouldn't care less about you. So far, you've been used to make him happy. Unless, he was clever enough to portray as if he is nothing without you only to satisfy his insecurity of finding someone else. Some guys tend to stick to "the first love" only to avoid the risk of not finding one again.
You haven't specified his age, but I assume that he's over mid 20's. If so, then he's really mature (or should be) to live on his own and not have his mom change his diapers. If he is indeed in need of more motherly care, then you simply dated a boy and not a man.
Move with your son and ex husband if you have to. They need more than a control freak and his mother. Unless you like being tied down, no pun intended, I'd suggest you to move on and forget about him. Plenty like him around the world, and even more to chose from. He certainly ain't the last guy you'll encounter.
If he does do something stupid for leaving him, then imagine what he would've done WITH you! Your smart enough to avoid dangers? Then do so, and leave the freak behind.
Cheers!
2007-02-09 01:41:47 · answer #2 · answered by lycan_footballer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like mother like son is not necessarily a true statement...
However in this case...it is true...at least the son allows mom to run his life.
Anyway...here is what YOU need to do.
Go move into a place on your own.
You complain about the current b/f living with mom...you are doing the same thing. If he didn't take you anywhere, why didn't you teach him and take him somewhere to show what it is like. You needn't hold his hand on it, but communicate and show by example.
So...you are letting other people control your life...actively or passively the same way that your current b/f is letting his mom control his life.
You pick relationships that are mirrors for what you need to work on for yourself.
Now...as far as moving back in with your ex...you miss your family, but the fact is...it didn't work out before. Nothing has changed. Live by yourself awhile. Don't blame your life on who it is you are with.
Be an independent person...and you will attract people who are independent in your life. See how that works? Build yourself into the person you want to be...and the person you want to be with will materialize...if it is your ex...it will be your ex. if not, you will be better off with the right person.
2007-02-09 01:44:04 · answer #3 · answered by moabmusher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Lord! I went through the same thing once with a guy who is a mama's boy.
Everything revolved around her. We had no life together without her butting in and controlling everything.
She even picked out all of our household cleaning products, bath products, paper towels and cloth towels. Even our bedding!
I couldn't go to the store and pick out the things I liked best without her noticing and having a small fit, so to speak.
It was a nightmare. To say the least, I wanted my life back, so I left him. I didn't want to hurt him but he would not confront his mother about this problem. She even tagged along when we would go out for lunch and dinner.
Yes. She wants you to feel guilty. She thinks the sun rises and falls on her son's head. You are just temporary until she can find another woman to baby sit her son. Once you're gone, she will forget all about you, so to speak.
Take it from me. You are doing the right thing. Mama's boys never change.
After I left him, he moved in with his mom and now ten years have passed. Get this!...He is still living with her.
Unbelievable.
2007-02-09 01:42:31 · answer #4 · answered by Molly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like they are just pressuring you into staying. If you aren't happy, leave. If you can make the family situation work out, good for you. It is better for the children if they have both parents. Don't worry about your boyfriend. He will be ok. Sounds like he's got mommy there to take care of him anyway.
2007-02-09 01:36:01 · answer #5 · answered by Cindy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave!
If you are unhappy and stressed this isnt good for your health. You need to do what is best for you and not be forced into staying by anyone. Your bf will recover, though it will be hard for the first few months.
You only live once! Surround yourself with people you are most happy with.
Take care :)
2007-02-09 01:39:12 · answer #6 · answered by yahoooooooooo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your depression and being at wits end is a true sign to what that relationship has done to you. It doesn't sound like your boyfriend has any self esteem. It sounds as if his mother doesn't have any confidence in him either. Many people who want to control others use guilt as a means to contro. You are best to just focus on yourself and get yourself strong for now.
2007-02-09 01:37:04 · answer #7 · answered by jellybean 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guilt trip alert...
sit him down and tell him one last time why you are leaving, partly due to his interfering mom and this is not the life you are willing to live with.
he's a mommy's boy... don't worry, nothing will happen to him. even if it did, you have done what you could to love him.
don't let them guilt you, into giving up your happiness and things you love, it's your life and you should enjoy it.
2007-02-09 01:44:58 · answer #8 · answered by FXY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this sounds like a case of the over bearing mother in law. trying to control you like her son. If you aren't happy leave him and find happiness. If he does happen to do anything then he is weak and what he does to himself is his problem he makes the decisions on what happens in his life the same as you.
2007-02-09 01:38:31 · answer #9 · answered by jimmy_chick78 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, he is not going to die. His mom is only worried about the welfare of her son. So of course she is going to say whatever she can to manipulate & control you. She only wants her son happy, she doesn't care if you are happy or not. She's being insecure and selfish.
Tell her to mind her own business...your problem is only with your husband, not her.
2007-02-09 01:36:33 · answer #10 · answered by Sunshine Queen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋