Are we done?

Question

ok-so ive been dating this girl now for 10 months. we have always been very close, and we both enjoy each others company very much. but when im not with her (in-person), i become very discouraged of our relationship. im sometimes a little mean to her and knowingly play a lot of mind games. the thing is i really love her, and she loves me. she does nothing to deserve this and i dont know why i do it. but when we are together im 100% different. i act how i really feel towards her. i dont understand why when shes not next to me, the same passion isnt their. im leaving in 2 months for the army, and she says shes willing to stay with me, and be faithful, as i am going to do the same. shes my first love, and i want her to be my only and last one also, and shes told me shes had the same feelings. so basically, why am i a d1

Answer 1

So she's your #1 girl, but you're your #1 enemy.
Let me explain!!
You say you only play mind games with her when you two are apart!
You say you get very discouraged with your relationship whenever you're not with her..
This 'IS' your problem..
You do 'NOT' have 'complete' trust in her!!
You have too many fears of being betrayed in some way, maybe cheated on or lied to, etc.
It 'all' comes from a 'low self esteem' on your part.
Maybe you've seen too many of your friends betrayed, left with broken hearts or deflated ego's.
Either way, you are hurting yourself and will
(at some point) hurt this relationship.
You need to decide whether she either 'is' or
'is not' worthy of your trust..
After all, if you must seek acceptance by your repeated 'mind games', then you are being totally 'unfair' and 'selfish' toward this girl you say you 'love'..
Don't you think it's time to really 'be a man', and
treat her with respect and total trust 'all the time', and 'NOT' just when you are with her.
Get rid of the 'chip on your shoulder' of this
insecurity that you have, and start to enjoy
the woman you love, with 'no' obstacles in the way..For a man to make a good shoulder, he
really needs to be a 'good man' first..
You 'CAN' do it!!

Answer 2

I too was that way with my now, Fiance...we lived an hour and 1/2 apart, so I was very mean and kinda played mind games too. I figured it out why I was like that...it's called "FRUSTRATION" I was frustrated that I was not with him, so I was kinda lashing out towards him. We are getting married on Valentine's Day. Finally! I can't stand not being with him.
All I can suggest is to hang in there, be strong.
Good Luck!!

Answer 3

Sounds like you are insecure in your relationship so you think if you be an a** it will show you how much she really loves you if she hangs around. Word of warning though keep doing this and you may end up losing this girl that you love so much as one day she will wake up and realise you are being an a**.

Answer 4

I hate to be a heart crusher but man you have got to let her go if you are leaving for a long period of time. When you come back maybe she is there waiting for you,but if not maybe you will hit it off with someone you meet in the army. You just never know...

Answer 5

You are insecure. It takes time to grow up. If there is any way to NOT join the Army do it.Don't go.

Answer 6

You are extremely insecure, get some therapy.