My mother-in-law gave me and her son a christmas present and in my present there was a oven mit set and they said number one father....She knew we have had lossed two baby's....what would you do .........please help me as i need to know so i can help myself and my husband...I think this is bull crap but i do not know what to think about it.....
2007-02-08 17:04:56 · 21 answers · asked by Dawn l 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
WOW ! .... major tacky
Sorry for your losses : (
2007-02-08 17:09:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all I'm sorry for your loss.
I hope that she didn't do this on purpose, let's say that she didn't notice what it said. I would let her know in a very calm tone that you and your husband were a little surprised with the gift. She will ask why? Your responds should be in a calm tone because he is not a father yet.
If she did know what was on the MIT you should say that you think that was very wrong of her. That this gift really hurt both of you.
I think that you should not talk to her for a while, until you feel better to discuss this issue. You and your husband should get rid of that MIT, because every time you see it you will get upset, and the only person that is hurting is you and your husband.
Hope that this helped you, or at least pointed you in the right direction.
2007-02-09 01:39:46 · answer #2 · answered by Sam A 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like she is passing blame twards you for losing her grandchildren. I would get evaluated at an OBGYN and find out if you or your husband have any medical issues keeping you from carring full term. Their is also a way they can test to see if you and your husbands genes are compatible. If not the body might reject the pregnancy. As far as your mother-in-law is concerned God will pass judgement when the time is right. I would tell her how you feel and tell her if this behavior continues you will stay away and go on knowing that everthing happens for a reason.
2007-02-09 02:13:46 · answer #3 · answered by shannon_ghl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your mil was being intentionally hurtful - I don't know of ANYONE who would do something like that on purpose. I think that you are hurting over the loss of your two little ones, and I'm sorry about that. I'm sure she is sorry, too. There is the possibility that because you are grieving the loss of the babies that this is an especially sensitive topic for you, and the fact that she was insensitive on the thing that could hurt you the most - well, her timing was way off on this one. We all sometimes tread heavily when we should tread lightly, so please try to overlook this offense.
2007-02-09 01:28:51 · answer #4 · answered by Cris O 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess she must have been thinking that even though you and your husband have lost 2 babies, that she still considers you potentially great parents. What does your husband think of the gift? And how does your MIL normally treat you?
If I were you, I wouldn't mention the gift. It's not worth making an issue over it, no matter how inappropriate you think it is. I think she didn't mean to be tacky or cruel. That woman is your husband's mom, don't forget that. And the more peace you make in your heart regarding her, the better your marriage will be for it.
2007-02-09 01:20:15 · answer #5 · answered by TPhi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mother-in-law sounds optimistic, however it has obviously hurt your feelings. You should casually mention the oven-mitts - note your surprise and how it's a sensitive issue for the both of you. When you become pregnant - there will be 9 months to celebrate. Good Luck!
2007-02-09 01:09:42 · answer #6 · answered by Igotthetime 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all I would try to sit and talk to her. I would explain my feelings to her and let her know how much she is hurting you and your husband. If that doesn't work, I would probably sever ties with her. I can't believe that anyone could be so cruel. I am truly sorry to hear about the loss of your babies. Keep your head up and put your faith in God. He will bless you and your husband with a child.
2007-02-09 01:39:52 · answer #7 · answered by Cindy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give that oven mit back to her. I'd be straight forward to her and say that's ultimately wrong what she just did. she's not only hurting you as a woman, but she's hurting her on son. I say she needs to show some respect and apologize. Good Luck!
2007-02-09 01:17:48 · answer #8 · answered by Drivliam 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is it possible that she did not know what was on the oven mitt ? It may just have been thoughtless rather than deliberately mean.
You could have a private chat with her , point out that it upset your husband and explain why, and ask her why that gift ?
2007-02-09 01:16:34 · answer #9 · answered by mark 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ouch. First of all, sorry for you loss. Secondly, give them back to her saying that they aren't needed because you don't have children and she should know that. Tell her that you thought the gift was hurtful and insensitive of her and you don't appreciate it and to keep them until there is a child.
2007-02-09 01:43:39 · answer #10 · answered by keeperofpuppies 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am truly sorry for Your loss, However Mommy Dearest is so tacky and very insensitive, but it looks like she has some other issues that just didn't come gift wrapped.
2007-02-09 01:16:39 · answer #11 · answered by Tennessee Mom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋