I'm thinking I might be commiting suicide soon, which God should I ask for forgiveness?

Question

Clinical depression not going away. What I have felt for these last five years is indescribable. I often feel like body is eating itself alive. I often have trouble just moving, my body tenses up, it is the closest thing to walking death I think one could experience while still alive.

All I want is, if there is a creator, a chance to see him. I've been through things all throughout my life that most people will never have to go through, and most could never imagine. I've made it 21 years, but I don't know if I will be able to make it 22. Which God should I ask for forgiveness?

Please don't try and talk me out of suicide, at the moment I am not suicidal, if I was, I could hardly form the thought to type this letter. Along with major depression, I suffer from genetic bi-polar disorder, while medicines help, the clinical depression makes my bipolar spills more than most people can dream of. I'm not in one of those right now.

No, as I have said, I have bi-polar disorder, it is no temporary problem, believe me. You havn't experienced any of the things I have in my life. I've been through things that no person should ever have to go through, to feel.

Selfish, I hope you're not talking about towards my family? All my family were abusive to me all my life, I am alone. The things I have experienced are hardly everyday problems, I assure you, and they are not getting better. You have not felt what I have felt, can you judge?

Answer 1

Please seek professional help with this problem, Yahoo Answers isn't the place for you, it's not exactly full of sincere people. Besides, suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems

Answer 2

I was permanently disabled in a car accident in 1995, and you can bet there were times when I really didn't want to stick around. I had already had a horribly abusive childhood, and an equally abusive young adulthood, and everything was such a mess by the time that car flew off that cliff, I wondered why I had survived, and wished I hadn't.

Most religions hold that if you kill yourself, you don't get forgiveness at all. That is to keep people from killing themselves so they can meet their "creator", and to prevent lawsuits against the various churches. I don't believe in god(s) or the supernatural, so to me there would be nobody to ask for forgiveness, not even the heartbroken and confused people who would have to suffer grief over my death. Sometimes, that thought alone was the only thing that kept me going. There was a time when I wrote, "I'm not going to make it past 25". Now I want to live as long as possible, to 100 if I can.

You're 21. Plenty of time to fix things. Sit down, write a list of all the things that bother you, in the back of your mind, the things that are really tearing you up, whether it's your job, or people, or whatever it is. Then deal with them, one by one. It can take years to systematically identify and eliminate the biggest stressors from your life, but it's worth it because the end result is that you get out of unhappy mode and start looking for what makes you happy. Nobody will ever know you better than you know yourself, and your mind can change the way it works, as long as you are honest with yourself and others, and get into the habit of putting yourself first. I know that sounds selfish, but sometimes the only one who can care about you and your happiness is you.

Answer 3

I have suffered from chronic depression, often suicidal, since my mid-teens, now almost 30 years. I know where you're coming from, at least as far as the depression end of it goes. I know what it's like to feel like a corpse that hasn't lain down and died yet. I know the pain that seems to fill the universe.

Depression is a medical condition like diabetes or multiple sclerosis, except that what it attacks is the very foundation of the self -- the brain. I honestly believe that someone who hasn't been through it can't imagine what it is like. Medication can help, and if yours isn't working for you, I suggest you get on your doctor's behind and get him/her to start trading you up. But some days the urge to die is just... there.

At the age of 42, I'm still here. Part of it's been luck; a lot of it has been hard work and clinging to the edge of life even when it seemed like I had nothing to lose by letting go. I know that if I killed myself, it would devastate my husband and my friends, even if it ended my own emotional agony.

If you want to talk about the intersection of depression and faith, email me. It really isn't a discussion that can be carried on in a public forum like this. I promise I won't try to convert you to my own religion, but I will leave you with a quotation from one of our pieces of liturgy:

"Upon earth, I give the knowledge of the spirit eternal; and beyond death, I give peace, and freedom, and reunion with those who have gone before. Nor do I demand sacrifice; for behold, I am the Mother of all living, and My love is poured out upon the earth." -- from The Charge of the Goddess

Whatever you decide, may you be blessed on your path.

Answer 4

I'm bipolar too, but that's neither here nor there, because this question is about you.
An opinion... Hmmm...
Do you feel the need to ask a God for forgiveness, or would simply making peace with yourself suffice?
Are you a person of faith, or an adherent to a religion?
It strikes me as a betrayal of the self to enter into a false covenant with a God in whom you have never felt faith.
And I expect that the God you choose, if capable of feeling as humans do (not being a remote, and disinterested God, as so many are), would probably feel cheapened by being used for 'a quickie'.
But this is not about me seeming to abuse you. I apologise, if I gave that impression, it was not intended . You don't need to feel any worse than you already tell me you do.
I can imagine, until the cows come home, how you are feeling, and never truly appreciate it.
You have asked a question, I have chosen to answer.
The responsibility lies with me, to treat you fairly, and give you as good an answer as I can, as I see it.
Committing suicide is something I too have contemplated.
An unnecessary detail, as we are not trying to find some thread of commonality.
Suicide, or the contemplation thereof, is not though, the essence of your question, but a statement (being that it is separated, by a comma, from what I believe is the actual 'meat' of the question; it is presented as a preamble), so it requires no answer (or judgemental rant), any more than you would answer my statement that I shall go to the shop, later.
As to your choice of a God, from whom to seek forgiveness, I hope I have covered some distance in what I have said, above.

Remember, though, that your choice remains Your choice.
Neither I, nor anyone else can, ultimately, decide for you, what you do.
I know what I feel is right for me to tell you to do.
But I am not a knight in shining armour, on a white charger, and I will not go off on a quite possibly vain expedition, to save you from yourself.
You are a stranger to me, and I would see the imposition of my beliefs, or opinions on you as not only unkind, but outright impolite, and disrespectful.
(There's something in that about doing unto others, as you would have done unto you, it's a terribly unfashionable and old fashioned notion).

Needless background detail, for you to, ultimately, ignore -
I was diagnosed at 32.
So, for twenty years, I knew something was wrong, and had no answers.
Not for want of asking, though.
(Being treated as a pariah, is a whole other story).
I thank the spirits of my ancestors who watched over me. That was the faith I held, that kept me going. But this is me, and this answer is not about me.
You know what is right for you.
Not an answer made in desperation.
But an honest answer.
One you can live with.
(Should I sound horrendously ghoulish, and say 'or die with'? Is there still a bitter sense of humour, lurking in that dark wasteland?).
You know what is right for you. I can say no more than that.

Answer 5

Aww. First off, I want to say you have the courage to write this, that's good. It's good to let feelings out. Some people let them out the wrong ways. Some hide their feelings, that's bad.
I think you should have faith and patience. Just talk, you can say Lord,GOD, Jesus, which ever you prefer...tell him to forgive you for your sins, to help heal you physically, spiritually, emotionally.Pray daily. Of course we don't get results right away, it takes time. That's why we have to be patient and hopeful......

Answer 6

hmm. i dont know what to say because this is a really good question. i am atheist myself, so i dont know much about the different gods. Here is what i would do: I would look up on the internet the most common religion in the world. If its the most practiced...then certainly their god must be the real one right? so ya ask forgiveness to that God. Good luck.

Answer 7

Theres only one God of relevence and you don't have to worry kid, you're already forgiven. Put a smile on that face and when you get to heaven, say hello to my dog for me. Actually you can watch my dog for me until I get there. You could play with him, he's really friendly. I suggest you get a dog and a g i r lfriend and try to put some love in your life before you leave us.

Answer 8

OK you have an evil spirit living inside you. I cant tell you that I understand because I dont. God is not going to forgive you for suicide because he says to not do it and if you do you will go to hell. basically right now your letting the Devil win not God. You need to pray to God you need get down on youe knees rigth this second and say Please help me forgive me let this feeling go away take the evil spirit away PRAY AND PRAY and it will help go to your Poster he will help you and I will ray for you even though I dont know you I will so God can save you.! Amen

Answer 9

go to darfuar and be perseucted for your beliefs by angry muslims and then talk about go through things people can't imagine stop being selfish people go through terrible things everyday and they learn to deal you have to aswell.

Answer 10

there is no god seek therapy