a man who is 37 and never had a girl... any hope?

Question

that simple im 35 and ive never hugged/kissed/had any relaionship with a female (or anyone for that matter!) not sure but im getting the nagging feeling i will die alone.... well not too big of a deal but i would like to try talking to a girl once... first of as a girl do you find mine my age wih ZERO experiance with women odd? and guys how do you sugget a guy like me approach a women... i think im a bit old for the club/bar scene (which ive never been to) and i DONT want to come of as creep, id rather be alone hat freaking people out because thats not what im about.. okay any help welcomed

IM 35 not 37!

Answer 1

I am assuming you are a bit anxious about this.

Is being anxious about the matter making it harder for you to find someone? As you say "come out as a creep"

If it makes you feel any better, your age is not out of the ordinary for a human male. It's the popular culture that is telling us that we need to find a mate to be happy.

(Interesting article about Italian men staying at home:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5761647/)

I agree- the club scene is about sex- not a relationship.

You will need to find a female that shares the same interests.
Have you thought about joining clubs that hold your interests?

There are dating sites, like match.com are are a little heavy on the male population- but I guess they are worth a try.

You are a more mature individual- anyone you find clubbing will be in a phase of life that is a little more carefree, and you may not find your age range there.

I don't suggest girl shopping at work- that is just a bad practice all around.

You just need to be in the right place for the thing you are looking for.

If all else fails, move to a city with a high female population.

article:

http://www.askmen.com/fashion/travel_top_ten_100/106b_travel_top_ten.html

Answer 2

Well, apart from the fact your question is about a 37 year old but you are a 35 year old, I would have to say there is "hope" for anyone of any age, who truly wants a relationship.

You don't say why you've never been involved with anyone. So you might want to analyze that a bit before you start looking around....it could be that you're like the Apostle Paul, who thought it a distinct advantage spiritually to not be entangled in any romantic relationships.

Having said that, you need to decide what qualities in a woman are most important to you. If you don't mind shallow, fickle, immoral, and drunken, then you can hit the club/bar scene for sure. But I wouldn't advise it.

Try your local church. Many of them have classes or social groups geared just for singles. (Also, your chances of meeting someone equally inexperienced will be significantly better.) Or consider your own interests and hobbies. Do you play tennis? Then join a team and strike up some conversations with the ladies there. Are you a bowler? Join a league and see if Miss Right is among your fellow bowlers.

My point is this: Don't compromise yourself - your values, your interests, the qualities that make you YOU, simply so you can say you've had a relationship with someone. You are the only reason you've never been in a relationship before now, so you will be the only one who can decide that you're going to get out there and be willing to take some risks to meet some people.

And mainly, just have fun when you do. No pressure. Don't advertise to anyone that they are you're absolute first ever girlfriend......just strike up a conversation, be thoughtful, considerate and relaxed, and see what happens!

IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT!!! :-)

Best wishes -

Answer 3

I don't think it's weird. There are a lot of people in your situation. Be it by their own choice or something else. You need to find ways to get out there. You don't need to go to bars etc to do this. Join a team, volunteer, do something that you like because, the people that attend these types of things like those things too. Find some common ground right away makes it easier to make small talk etc. Or join a dating site. This way you can chat with people have them get to know you and, you can increase your comfort levels as well. Just don't give up if I found someone you can too!

Answer 4

I believe ur age wldnt be a big problem with women. Age is nv a prob to man. Clubs and bars is nt necessary to be the only way for knowing women either. I guess the best way to enlarge ur social circle is from friends introduction. Chemistry and Self confidence plays a big part when a woman accept a guy. Good luck =)

Answer 5

unless you find a really compassionate woman you're gonna have some problems....just being honest. I think you're best bet would be to take a week off from work and head over to one of the brothels in Nevada. You're not gonna be able to kiss the girls (I don't think)...but you will get laid, and you just might need that in order for you to get over the hump. Girls will read this and get mad at me but the truth is they will never give you a chance...they would be hypocrites. Good luck.

Answer 6

I don't know quite what to tell you....did you just discover women ? or was something preventing you from getting to know women ??? Are you just a slow learner ???
I've never been in a bar either. (so thats not a good excuse)
Usually people start dating about 15-16...you're starting a bit late.
Maybe you need some male friends to help you out, find someone nice for you to date, till you decide what kind of woman you want...or relationship for that matter...(by 35 life has been figured out and you know where you're going and who you're going with..)

Answer 7

I'd like to help you out. There is hope. Actually, I've known of people that left priesthood or a life of (chosen) selibacy, religious or otherwise and have come out fine. There are many questions I would like to ask, but, for your sake I won't do it in a public forum. So email me or IM me "guitaromeo" on AIM or yahoo.

Answer 8

Keep quiet about the never having a girl thing and go find one.

And, you may be hideously unattractive. Go into any hair salon and ask a cute stylist if you need a makeover. She'll tell you the truth.

Answer 9

get out there!
Of course there's hope for you. Have you seen the movie "40 y.o. virgin"?
hate to refer to that, and I'm sure you're sick of it, but you know, the moral is that the good guy gets the girl.
Don't be afraid of women and of rejection. YOu're going to have to weed through a lotta rejection to get to a good girl, but it'll be worth it.
Get a set of friends first.
The best way to meet women is through your friends. Socialize with the people you work with. Throw a few dinner parties and invite all your friends. Ask every female you know to set you up with someone [trust me, this works. women LOVE to set up their friends].
It's all a mental game. Believe in yourself, and have confidence that someone is out there for you. esp as a guy, the world is your oyster. If you have the right attitude, every woman will fall at your knees. [conversely, if women aren't born hot, life is a tough cookie to crack. be grateful you're not female!]

Answer 10

Maybe, my cousin and i picked up a man online and he was older than you. he had obiously had a few girls over lately. So yeah go for it!