parenting : we all know that being a parent is hard work , and there is know manuels on raising children

Question

so how can pepole tell others how or what they should do with there children , some say spanking works some say it dont , some say it even leads to violent behavior latter in life when the child get older , is there any proff in this and if so where is it , another thing did your parents spank you how did you turn out did you spank your own children how did they turn out ,

Answer 1

All we can do is share our own experiences and hope that it helps somebody.

I was spanked as a child, up until about age 4. I was always warned that what I was doing was wrong, and if I continued, I got spanked. It was always followed with an explanation of WHY what I did was wrong, and if applicable, what I could have done differently. Also, a hug. I have never resented my mom or grandparents for swatting me. Usually, just the threat of it kept me in line. I'm probably the least violent and easy going person you could meet. My little brother was a different case. He never has responded to any form of punishment or consequences, its quite scary. Reasoning doesnt work, threats dont work, timeouts dont work, grounding doesnt work, positive reinforcement doesnt work, nothing works. Hes a total wreck, mostly due to having a violent father. My daughter is 2 years old, and I employ the warning, then swat on hand or bottom, then explanation and alternative way she could have acted, and then a hug. I NEVER discipline her if I am angry, and ONLY when normal things like saying NO, or moving her away from the situation dont work. A swat gets her attention, and reinforces my "NO" especially if what she is doing is dangerous. Everyone we meet comments on how well behaved and happy she is. Its a rare occasion that I have to swat her, but I dont feel bad about it, and its never done for the sake of hurting her, but rather for getting her to pay attention to me when nothing else will. She usually just responds by hugging me and nodding her head while I tell her that I love her, but she needs to listen to mama. 5 seconds later, its like it never happened and shes perfectly happy. That is my experience. All we can do as parents, is our best, and no one can say what that definetly is. Take care, and God bless.

Answer 2

I believe ppl turn out violent for many reasons but i don't believe the occasionally spanking turned them that way.....i don't think anyone knows whats what when it comes to that they just state their opinion. But i do know that some children are so bad that putting them in the corner or timeout etc doesn't work.....the ppl that say spanking is bad are usual ppl without kids or have good behaved kids that timeout works for.....i don't spank but i do pop my child's hand or butt if they do wrong. it hurts me more than them anyway. and i was spanked as a child and I'm not violent at all.

Answer 3

For every proof there is proof to the opposite.
I wasnt spanked but should have been. I turned into a bratty teenager and by the time I was 15 my dad wanted to punish me and I laughed at him (literally). I had alot of growing up to do when I hit the real world.
I have spanked my kids and so far my 13 year old is better than I was when I was his age.

Answer 4

I'm willing to bet a child whose family spends a lot of time involving the child, (helping with homework, going to school functions, etc.) and beats the living hell outta him/her, will do better in life than the exact same child in a family who doesn't care about the child's interests or grades but also beats the living hell outta him/her. I know it's a little extreme but my point is that only focusing on how to discipline a child is dumb there is much more to being a parent than that.

Answer 5

There are plenty of manuals out there, the only problem is that no one knows what model they have

Answer 6

Everyone has published an opinion on how to raise kids.

Do it YOUR way.

Teaching, as everything else, should evolve. I haven't had to beat my kids.

Answer 7

you need help with your spelling! should be "there are no manuals on raising children"!