2007-02-08 16:16:04 · 5 answers · asked by qųěęŋ ŏf ħęãŗţş 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Two hookers were standing on a New York street corner. One said: "It's going to be a good night. I smell c*ck in the air."
The other one said: "No, I just burped."
2007-02-08 16:26:30 · answer #1 · answered by Baptized Disciple 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i really like what the first guy said!!
LOL
but if you wanna joke...
Once upon a time there lived a woman in Brampton who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them, but unfortunately they always gave her a very embarrassing, and somewhat lively reaction. When it became apparent that she and her boyfriend would marry she thought to herself, ''He is such a sweet and gentle man but I don't think he can live with my problems.'' So she decided to make the supreme sacrifice and give up beans.
A year later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country, she called her husband and told him she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way, she passed a small diner and the odour of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she could walk off any ill effect by the time she reached home. So she stopped at the diner, and before she knew it she had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home she putt-putted.
Upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited to see her, exclaiming delightedly, ''Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.'' He then blindfolded her then led her to a chair at the table. Just as he was about to remove the blindfold the phone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold till he came back. Then he went to answer the phone.
The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted the weight to one leg, and let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelt like a fertiliser truck running over a skunk coming from a pulp mill. She took a napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously. Then she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of cabbage cooking. Keeping her ears turned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes. When the phone farewells signed the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with the napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contently to herself, she was the picture of innocence when her husband returned. Apologising for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked and she assured him that she had not. At this point, he removes the blindfold to reveal twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a first Happy Anniversary!
HAHAHA!!! LOL
2007-02-09 00:31:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two avid golfers named John and Mark went to play golf one fine day. John had a habit of shouting "Holy ****, I missed!" everytime he missed. All the other golfers were disturbed except for Mark, who was fairly hard of hearing. Finally, they reached the last hole. John missed the hole by a few inches and was about to shout, "Holy ****! I missed", when a bolt of lightning shot down from the sky and struck Mark dead. Suddenly, a thunderous voice from heaven boomed, "Holy ****! I missed"
2007-02-09 01:23:43 · answer #3 · answered by John Carlos M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yo mama's so dumb that when somebody said, "the drink's on the house," she got a ladder and climbed up the roof
a man walked into a bar
... and said "ow"
2007-02-09 00:39:21 · answer #4 · answered by jirachi3636 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to this website!!!
2007-02-09 00:35:15 · answer #5 · answered by ftballtwenty1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋