Where to put my other brother in the ceremony...?

Question

I have 2 brothers. One will be 11 by my wedding date and the other will be nearly 19. My 11 year old brother is going to be my ring bearer. I'm not sure where to put my other brother, who is mentally handicapped (he does not have mental retardation and by looking at him you can't tell). My fiance's groomsmen are already picked out. I thought of using him for an usher... any other ideas on where to put him? I really want to involve him; I don't want him to be left out, and I know he would feel really honored to be involved.

I don't want to add more bridesmaids/groomsmen; I'm not gonna have a Jewish wedding when I'm Christian!; and no it wouldn't matter if it were showing... I just didn't want any comments like 'well, why would you want him in there when he'll look weird anyway' - I've had alot of those in the past... but no it shouldn't matter and yes, I really want to include him...

Answer 1

An usher is a good idea, he could also give out bubbles to your guest as you are no longer allowed to have confetti or rice, and is a nice substitute, he could also explain what they are meant for. Or he could read a simple poem during the ceremony. Or you could ask him to walk your mother down the isle to the music before your bridesmaids, this would be nice for both your mum and your brother.

Answer 2

There are plenty of things you could have him do.

- Usher
- Program distributor
- Altar aide (if you're having a very Christian ceremony)
- Tradition bearer (if you feel you want to celebrate your heritage, send him down the aisle with a handmade banner, flag, or other symbol of your shared culture or family traditions.)
- Reader (If it's appropriate during the ceremony, give him centre stage and he can read some religious passages. You could also select two or three heartfelt poems or passages from world literature.)
- Have him distribute the rice/confetti/birdseed/bubbles whatever you'll have the crowd shower the newlyweds with after the ceremony.
- Guest Book Guardian & Greeter - Place him at the entrance and have him greet everyone and ask if they'd like to sign the guestbook.
- Favor Arranger or Distributor - Make sure everybody gets the ingenious favors you've arranged for the guests. Have him set the goods on the tables before your reception begins, or ask him or her to hand out the favors as guests depart.

You could even have him do several of the above, to get him as involved as possible.

Hope you all enjoy what I'm sure will be a wonderful day!

Answer 3

What about having him usher your mother into the church and seat her ( in addition to being one of the ushers?) Not knowing his challenges, could he do a small reading at the ceremony, or would it be too much on him? He could be a greeter as people enter the church, or wherever you are holding the ceremony.

Answer 4

How about a greeter, and maybe you can have a female friend stand with him and they can greet everyone as they come for the ceremony and pass out programs. The ushers can seat your guests.

Answer 5

Usher, guest book attendant, passing out bird seed, bubbles, or anything like that... I had asked one of my friends to be an usher, and my husband had asked one, so we ended up putting one out front with the guest book and the picture mat... worked out great.

Answer 6

Is he capable of doing a reading. thats how ive seen to get everyone involved without perpetually expanding the wedding party.

Answer 7

Have a Jewish wedding that way each brother can hold one of the hoopa poles and you won't have to feel like you're leaving him out.

Answer 8

And would it matter if it was a physical showing of his handicap?
Sounds like you really don't care honestly. Just your wording. Sorry to say.

Answer 9

ask him to help with either walking you down and handing you over to your father at mid point or have him as an usher that opens the doors as you start to walk...

Answer 10

Just add one more bridesmaid and then you;ll need another groomsman..