I'm going to host a rather formal dinner party and I'd like to invite my good friend, she's a wonderful cook and more than willing to help me with the party. But, that means I'll have to include her new boyfriend, too. The problem is, that guy is not dressing up well, his 'clubbing' attire is mama's jeans and sneakers--and he thinks combination of khaki pants, sweater, and crocs is fine clothing for x-mas eve with my gf's parents.
The other guests are important people to my husband, like his boss and his boss' bosses with their spouses. They dress like typical corporate people. How to tell my gf, or better, tell her new bf to dress up for the party without offending him? He's over 40 and I'm like 10 years younger.
2007-02-08 15:15:09 · 18 answers · asked by Speck Schnuck 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I can tell the first answerer is a fan of mama's jeans himself:D
2007-02-08 15:25:23 · update #1
When you give him/them the invitation make sure you put on the invitation ' After Five Attire Required' or 'Formal Attire' or 'Suit and Tie Required' and if he does not wear them, then tell him, sorry, you are not dressed properly. Be firm about the clothing issue. Your girl friend should understand this. If he is offended by this then to bad. There is no need for the other invitations to have this on them only the ones you think will offend the importance of your party. This is the proper etiquette of statement. It is your party not theres to distroy. Take a firm stand.
2007-02-08 15:37:48 · answer #1 · answered by twentyeight7 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just mention in casual that you intent to make the party very formal and you want everyone to dress up. Say something, like friends/business associates of your husband willl be over and you and your husband must dress very formally. Tell her, that you advice her and her boyfriend do the same so that they don't seem out of place or too casual.
Don't insult her boyfriends way of dressing. Just try to drive home the point that this is going to be a formal event and both should dress accordingly. If they are smart adults, they should get it.
2007-02-08 23:20:16 · answer #2 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are sending formal written invitations, make sure you mention - formal attire. Not black tie!!! that is tux.
without written invites, make sure you talk to him directly on the phone, and tell him it is formal, and that the attendees will be in business attire, you would not want him (or his girlfriend) to be embarassed. Be specific about the fact that the dinner is important to you, that it is in part business related.
It is your house, and you set the rules. It is his choice then to be impolite... and it would be impolite to show up dressed down! it would be disrespectful to you and your husband.
Personally, I find that insisting on low key casual dressing past 25 yrs old is disrispectful to oneself first. Mama's jeans and sneackers, and perhaps a tattered t-shirt?? at 40? please. That's called a slob.
2007-02-09 03:01:41 · answer #3 · answered by OneLilithHidesAnother 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree. Tell your friend. But why do the men have to wear ties?
Including the boss? I bet the party will be more fun if the guys can be comfortable.
p.s.I also see nothing wrong with khakis & a sweater for Christmas Eve with your girlfriend's parents.
2007-02-09 01:14:29 · answer #4 · answered by sushimaven 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them that the dinner is formal and the dress attire for all is no less than suit and tie. That way it will not sound like you are singling the guy out, but that the dress attire is set for everyone invited.
2007-02-08 23:18:17 · answer #5 · answered by lysistrata411 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean. You have to be gentle with him and yes, you should do the talking to him. Tell him it's a more formal affair and you would like him to attend ONLY if he meets with the dress code. I have literally taken friends back into their house to redress them in more appropriate clothing. If he lacks the clothes then he needs to hit a store or two with a smart friend in tow and get an outfit or two. A man of his age should have a decent outfit for gods sake. And if he doesn't comply then he's out!
Next!
2007-02-09 00:15:45 · answer #6 · answered by wwhrd 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're not sending out formal invitations, just say to her, "By the way, don't forget that the party on Friday is black tie". It shouldn't be a big deal. If either one is offended by that, then they are immature and probably shouldn't attend anyway.
By the way, I see nothing wrong with khakis and a sweater for Christmas Eve with your girlfriend's parents.
2007-02-08 23:18:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
when you invite him, tell him it's a formal party. Be very specific, tell him what you're going to wear and when he hears that, hopefully things will start to click. Most people try to fit into the proper attire so they don't stick out like a sore thumb. Hopefully he'll do the same. Good luck and have fun!!
2007-02-08 23:20:42 · answer #8 · answered by Pure Heart 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just let him know that the dress code is formal or semi-formal. You could just tell him or his girlfriend this or put it on the invitation. It shouldn't be a big deal and I can't imagine anyone getting offended. If he does ask about the dress code just tell him that there is one so that no one will feel over or under dressed.
2007-02-08 23:18:37 · answer #9 · answered by J D 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
khakis a sweater and loafers is fine dress casual for most dinner parties. if that is what he is comfortable in while everyone else is in grey flannel then thats his right. A good hostess mixes up the table for an entertaining party. If its all business don't expect people to remember it as an eventful evening. The best you can do is request semi-formal attire. what he wears is up to him. You aren't his mother. I suggest you learn to lighten up and be a better hostess. If you feel the need to appologize for the inadequate attire of your not so well to do friends to your husbands business associates then so be it.
2007-02-09 01:41:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋