what do u do ?

Question

What do you do when you know that the relationship isnt gonna work but you dont wanna be alone ... I am honetly scared to death to feel that pain of having a big hole in your heart after things end with your lover and i dont wanna face it ... I know i will have to sooner or later but id rather just be with him and try to make things work.

Answer 1

i am going through the same ordeal with my ex-girlfriend. all i can say is that its not easy. i know where your coming from cause deep down inside i know me and her isn't going to work because the way she is but, its hard for me to let her go more so cause all that i've put into the relationship and i wouldn't want to see or know that she's with someone else so all that is weighing on me and its keeping me around. my advice for you is that if you know that its not going to work leave it alone. its better to hurt now than later you know. and i'm starting to head in that process as well. i rather leave her now than having to try and try when there's nothing but heartache and mental stress.. i hope everything works out for you and ends in happiness for you.

Answer 2

Put yourself in his place and then think about what you would want.
If you care about that person as a human being then do the right thing.
The pain gets diluted over time, but he more you carry on the more time it will take to get diluted.
Life is full of love found and love lost. Life is full of hurt and pain.
Do not let your life be full of deceit ok. Be a good person and allow yourself to go through that moment of pain so that the other person can have moments of opportunity to find his true love ok. and you will also have that opportunity.
Get some professional help for yourself if you feel you really have a problem here or if your man has issues with your break up.
Read the poem diva:

Now That’s Love

I know what love is like:
Truly loving someone is giving them the freedom to love you or not
Truly loving yourself is choosing to be someone who uses that freedom to love you
Yea, now that’s love
June 19, 2006 by Arene
copyrighted

Answer 3

Hmmm... sounds like you've felt that big hole in your heart and made it through before... to love again. You are a strong and courageous person, and you are smart enough to see that you need to make a move and resolve this issue. You won't die from the hurt - you're already feeling it. Plan how you will spend your new-found free time - hanging with friends, taking a class, writing a novel (try 50,000 words in one month - great for getting your mind off a breakup). Knowing what you will be doing takes the fear out of the unknown alone time you are dreading. Then if he isn't willing to make it work, you must do what has to be done. I'm proud of you.

Answer 4

haven't you ever heard of "plenty of other fishes in the sea?" if you don't want to be alone then best thing is to find out what's really goin' on between you. talking things out is a step in a calm way. there shouldn't really be a hole in your heart when you know things aren't goin' the way it should be. that just says there's no hope or future not only that you're not happy in the place you are right now and you don't wanna be like that or feel that way if you keep clinging on this. maybe you both need space and time from each other. try to part from each other for 2 days the most with no kind of communication and think find out what the likes and dislikes are.

Answer 5

I was actually in the same kind of situation that you are in. I stayed with my ex boyfriend who was also my son's father because I was afraid to be alone too. I was so used to the fact that we were together for so long and we had a child together. But I realized that I was unhappy and not attracted to him anymore. I kept trying to work things out because of my son and thinking that I would never find anyone else to love me.

Trust me, if you are unhappy now then you will be even more unhappy years down the road. It is hard to be alone but you will be a lot more happier once you get over your boyfriend. Don't settle for him because you are afraid of being by yourself. Its better to be by yourself then be miserable in a relationship.

Answer 6

I know how you feel about not wanting to lose what you have. But honey! don't be in a relationship that isn't working, just because you don't want to be alone. From what you're having a problem with, I would think that being single would be realllly good for you. I know you're thinking, "well screw that idea, thats exactly what i don't want!" but seriously, you need to figure out who you are without a guy, before you build your whole life around him, and then let it drag on because you don't know what to do without him.

Answer 7

have you tried talking with him face to face? sometimes a lot of the misunderstandings of a relationship can clear up just by the two of you looking into the other's eyes and understanding the pain behind them...if he loves you he will understand and the problems should hopefully clear up..wish you all the luck and be confident

Answer 8

When you see no funture, its time to say goodbye. It would be doing both of you wrong if your just using him so your not alone. Just get it over with because there are plenty of othe fish in the sea.

Answer 9

Don't be such a coward. You knew that it isn't gonna work so it would just lead you to pain if you push to it. Maybe something good will happen if you would just let it go...

Answer 10

dont force things to work out, if ur not going to b happy later. for that big empty feeling, u will always have ur friends. they will b there and support u, and then it wont b soo bad.