Need life advice, thanks.?

Question

I amd 28 and I recently left a dream job that I just started, I still dont know why I left. Social anexiety, didnt want to see people in bad financial situations, not sure. It was a mortgage job that payed $150k but probably would have make $200k or more. I am having a hard time finding any job that pays even 100k or that I would like to do.

I wanted to be successful my whole life, I feel like I failed. I havnt had a girl friend in years and dont know if i will any time soon which also makes me depressed.

I just want to make a decent amount of money and leave it for my mom and go away. What do you think?

Thank you for responding, but no religious answers. thank you

Answer 1

You bring up several things here. You quit things impulsively (your job); you want to be successful but you sabotage it. You don't have a girlfriend (you don't say if you have other friends), and you have what you call "social anxiety." Your last paragraph suggests that you are considering suicide.

This is far too much to handle in this forum. It is also too much for you or anybody to handle on their own. You need serious mental health treatment in order to sort out all the stuff in your head.

28 is still quite young, and you have plenty of time to have all the things you dream of (relationships and success for instance). But do not continue to ruin your chances for lack of self-understanding and self-mastery. Get yourself to a counselor (I suggest an LMSW or LSW social worker) as soon as you can. Call a mental health hotline for recommendations of people in your area.

The part where you said you were concerned about seeing people in bad financial situations is a good sign. It is true that mortgage banks are engaging in a lot of unethical behavior. It is good that you didn't want to see people suffer from that, and that you didn't want to participate in it. Now transfer some of that sympathy for others onto yourself, and take care of yourself too.

Answer 2

Dont beat yourself up that you dont have it all together. Many are much older than you.
You gave up that job because it was not suited to you. A job is a job. Anyone can have one. The secret to being happy is finding the right one, the perfect match. So many people settle for less. They get jobs they hate and stay for the money or the benefits. This is not smart. It is better to give it up and connect with the job that fits your personality and lifestyle.
You are young and so you think money is everything. I am older and I am telling you it is not everything. Sure I am well-off and it helps so that I dont have to work but I can tell you dont ever get stuck in a job that does not make you happy. If I had it to do over, I would have done with less and enjoyed life more. All my money can not make me happy. I know you dont believe this, I did not believe it either when I was your age but it is TRUE.

True happiness comes when you accept yourself and follow your destiny. What is your Destiny? You will know when it hits you. You will say WOW why did I not do this long ago.
Start soul searching. Right before bed each night write down the things you enjoy. Make a list. First night write down what you enjoy doing in life (hobbys or ?) Next night write down jobs that you think you may be good at? The next night write down jobs that you think you would love? Each day look at your list when you first get up after your mind works on it through the night. Add or delete or if you get the urge write your thoughts.
Compile all this and then make a plan. The top job, look at it, and decide what you need to do to make it reality and then do it. Move your life in that direction. Even if you have to take a low wage job until you get the skills you need.

The number one advise I can offer is have great OPTIMISM. This will bring you positive energy which in turn can create a wonderful life for you. It can open your heart so that you can find your soulmate. It can get rid of your depression. It can bring you money and wisdom.

Here is a must read book for you. Please Please read it and take the advice in it. It can truly change your life if you put it into practice.
The Luck Factor by Dr. Richard Wiseman

Buy it on Amazon or Ebay. This is the best help I can offer, please accept it. I know you can do it. I trust you can be the Best you Can Be.

Answer 3

Well you left allready so try not to regret it, if you are having such a hard time finding another job, can you go back to that other job? or maybe you can find another mortgage place where you can apply your knowledge there is a lot mortgages places who will receive you, maybe you can work in the back not at front talking to people, maybe you can work doing some calls, or toher things like date on the computer, try to find a fit , maybe you will make less money , but you will be more relax.
Go out with people then maybe you can meet someone.
thats sweet that you want to make money for your mom, but still there is a hunger inside you that wants to make money, just keep trying, you will find the answer.

Answer 4

Bill stop being so hard on yourself ,this job just didn;t work out there are others go to a placement service they will find what you are qualified for ...and so what if you don;t have a girlfriend take care of you get a good job then worry about a girlfriend why do you want to go away what are you running from take life as it comes and take care of you ...love kaa

Answer 5

You need a really good friend and a big pick me up. Social anexity probably not the cause. Depressed, yes, lonely, yes, go out and have a good time with a good friend, relax, have some fun, go out to a club, get out get ur hair done, pick out some new clothes, and go out! The next day, be spirtited and tell yourself its all ok. Youll never find what your looking for while your looking, and it sounds like you could have looked to hard. Be positive and all will work out! Good luck!

Answer 6

Sounds to me like you might be suffering from depression. See your doctor and get checked out...Depression is a chemical problem within the brain (too much serotonin!) and there are some great treatments out there for it that can really help you out.

Good luck!

Orion

Answer 7

You need to see about taking care of the depression. At least take one of the many general tests that are available on the Internet. You owe it to yourself first. If it's depression, you don't just think it away; it doesn't get better by itself.

Answer 8

~Never work a job that you dont like no matter how much it pays,,(well we all have to sometimes but if its not for you,,seek another).
~You have a kind heart,,that in itself is a great quality.
~You havent failed,,find your passion.
~You just havent found "the one" yet.(there is only one,,you just havent met her yet).
~Thoughtful to think of your Mom,,I think of my Moms happiness as well but remember she would rather have you in her life than for you to go away.
~Thats what I think.

Answer 9

Bill, I think you need to know what really you want out of life!? Figure out what really makes YOU happy! First before I say anything more I would like to recommend two books to you for finding purpose in your life! 1. The Purpose Driven Life. by Rick Warren 2002 and 2. Your Best Life Now by Joel Osteen 2004. I believe that your feeling almost to the state of emptiness. Life is more that money,material things and work status! I believe the reason you feel this way is because your heart is feeling that something is missing. I believe that something is God and Jesus! The Bible says that you were created to have a fellowship with God, and to have Him at the center of your life. Did you know God loves you and values you! "God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son Jesus, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16)Know apart from Jesus Christ, the Bible tells us, we are "harassed and helpless, like sheep with out a shepherd" (Matt 9:36). But God loves us, and one reason he has allowed you to have this feeling of emptiness in your heart is that He loves you and wants you to seek and have a relationship with him. No matter how hard we try or what means we use--material possessions, money, pleasure, drugs, or whatever--the emptiness is still there. The thing is that if you let your emptiness go this leads into depression! How do I know this? Because I have dealt with that empty feeling, life with no purpose or meaning and eventually depression. The three things that really turned my life around was: 1. Knowing that God and Jesus Loved me and I was valued! 2. Knowing I had people on my side at church, in my social life and in my family that cared about me! and 3. I had to get myself out of the atmosphere that I was in! When you put yourself in line with what God has for you, then you will see yourself back with a renewed joy! I would not be telling you this if I had not experienced what you feel myself! Know down inside you are looking for love and happiness but you will never find it the way you are living right now. God created you, and God loves you. His only Son, Jesus Christ, loved you so much that he gave His life on the cross so you could be saved and break free from in perfectness, sin and this empty feeling to become a child of God. When you accept Jesus Christ into your life, something wonderful and supernatural happens. God Himself comes to dwell within you! You become part of His family, and you can know the joy of His presence every day. The Bible says: "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5). As a christian I know that Church is a excellent place to meet people that might of once felt the way you do now with no purpose and they might tell you how now they live for Jesus and how they have found that purpose. Not only at church service but a lot of church's have activities like single events and small groups like bible study! Not only will you be meeting new people and developing relationships with them, you will be also be developing a relationship with God and Jesus by learning what the word of God (the Bible) has to offer you in your life, like questions like this one! Also I encourage you to take other steps to reach out to others. Are there others at work or in your neighborhood who are also feel life has no purpose? Are there others in your neighborhood or work who seem to have just a few friends? It may be not easy for you at first, but learn to be a friend to others. Is a good way to start to do something practical for someone else who has a need. The fact of the matter is you need to put yourself in a new atmosphere! I battled though depression! So, I felt like life was just one, big black, end less, tunnel that I felt so alone and that no one valued me! I later found out that I was valued! I was valued by Jesus because he gave his life on the cross for me! and in essence I was carrying my own cross and Jesus said let me carry that for a while and you put your faith in me and I will bring you hope for the future and a future partner! You know what? He did! Now am happily married to the woman of my dreams! And you to can have that person you desire and things in your life will have meaning and purpose if you believe in yourself and start having a relationship with Jesus! I will be praying for you brother! Right now! Pray to Jesus, tell him you don't want to have a life without a purpose anymore! You want him to come into your heart by faith! Tell him you want him and him alone to come and stay with you and bring you comfort and wisdom. In Jesus Name! Amen!