What do I do? Loneliness is killing me?

Question

I am a normal guy who likes to help people whenever I could....I am polite, respectful but who cares these days.....I am just feeling lonely and I dont know what to do about it.....I always try to talk to people and have friends but they always stay from me....I never had a girlfriend so for sometime I decided to ignore it.....But everyday, I just keep thinking about my loneliness.....Even, In high school, I have never had real friends.....My loneliness is killing me....Sometimes I just think of killing myself but there is something inside me that prevents me from doing it....It takes me time to get along with people so I tried to overcome it but I couldnt........I am the type of guy who is always busy with studying but I always like to have fun too which I do by myself most of the times....What can I do?....I am so desperate and I am just sick and tired of being lonely....Is it my fault or people just dont care about me?...

I have a sense of humor but it just comes out If i know the person really well....I dont have any friend's number or anything....

Answer 1

I too was in a lonely and similiar situation. At 27 years old. I conquered it and now I embrace loneliness and the freedom it brings.

Find a nice younger girl with very overprotective parents. Run off and get married because her family disapproves of you. Even though she is 22 years old and devorced . Spend 20,000.00 on her for anything that she says will make her happy. Give up yor life and dreams for her .
Finally give her everything she wants in a devorce including residential custody of your only daughter and take all the debt. Even though she can't tell you why she wants a devorce. However you guess it is that she wants to take your little girl and move back into her own mammas house to be more spoiled. Now I love getyting home from work and watching whatever i want on the tv. Going to bed whenever i want. Not fighting for 4 hours over something i can't change !

A word of advise for you though don't treat her to well or she will lose interest . Also If she is really imature then It is a plus. If she views her family as #1 and yours as the bad #2 then that is a sure fire way to get this . Also if she has a mother then expects the very best for her daughter. Who is prettier and better then everyone else then you are well on your way.

Let me know is 2 -5 years how it worked out for you.
It worked awesome for me. Going from extrmly lonly to extremly content with my new bestest friend me myself and I !!!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

I spend a lot of time alone and it doesn't really bother me. I think there are more people like you and me than you realize. Just be yourself and enjoy being alone. As far as sex goes, consider hookers if you can afford it. Maybe you could work on being the mysterious stranger. Some people would be attracted to that.
If there is something about your manner or appearance that you think might be putting people off, then off course you could work on changing it. But, the main thing is to be yourself, because you can not be anyone else. Work on enjoying your solitude. It's got some advantages. You don't have to screw around with other people. People can be a real pain in the ***.

Maybe this is just a bunch of cliches. Hope it helps.

Answer 3

trust me i know how you feel about the lonely thing i was totally into this this guy for about 2yrs that barely even knew i was around and the pain that caused me was at times, well made me think about doing that too, and at the same time me and my parents were fighting all the time and they just didn't understand , my friends all tried but they just couldn't understand why i felt so lonely and I'm really really good at hiding whats going on under the surface so i wasn't really expressing all this to anyone i was just keeping it all inside that went on for awhile until i finally just broke down and refused to treat myself like that anymore but it does get better if you hang in there, in the last 7 or 8 months i have chosen to turn everything around I'm not focusing on others for my happyness as much but more on me and relying on myself to make me happy because I've come to find that I'm not such bad company lol I've started taking more chances not being so cautious and from the occasional bad day that everyone has I'm really happy with my life right now. so just hang in there take some chances and put yourself out there if someone trays to knock you down get right back up and prove them wrong ! best of luck to ya

Answer 4

hey man, killing urself wont bring anything good neither to you or anyone, i know how you feel i had felt alone before once, but dont worry man, cmon there are so many things to do, socially, i know its hard to get to know pplbecause as you said , that it takes you time, right?...im the same way, but believe me when you make a friend and keep talking to that person and become closer to each other (as friends), you will make a best friend, that will help you on many things, so dont worry man, LIFE SUCKS, it has its up and downs. Right now u just having it bad....but a light its always at the end of the tunnel, so just wait, and try .....nothing grows out until you plan it....so TRY!.....dont let anyone let you down and only focus on that main goal, if its hard for you to socially, i suggest to first start chatting alot, on the inter....but dont let it go too far, and then start going out to something like groups or stuff....ther are soooooooooooo many possabilities......is just the matter to look for them.

i wish you luck dude......i hope you complete ur goal.

-mark-

Answer 5

Believe it or not a lot of people are lonely.I think you have to make it a priority to take the time to get to know people.If you really care about someone else, they will respond.This world needs so much and the people in it are suffering,as you are.I suggest strongly that you go volunteer for anyone,children,old people, people who are in real need.Give to them and along the way you will not only feel better-you will feel useful.It can be 1 day a week.or a month.Get to know the other volunteers.I also suggest you read THE PROPHET and THE BROTHER's KARAMAZOV.Reading great works of literature will help you to get out of yourself in the right way. Good luck to you and have faith!

Answer 6

That's a hard one. Just don't try and kill yourself, think of it as letting all the bad in the world winning against you. Try and loose your inhibitions a bit and don't be shy, being shy is like a disease in this culture almost like depression. I know what you are going through.

If it makes you feel better I'm a 34 year old virgin with only a couple of friends and no prospects who also thought about suicide (I even planned how I was going to do it), so you are not alone nor have the worst of it. Just don't end up like me!

Answer 7

This is an honest answer..

You are looking for validation and approval from others.. you are desperate to a cause that may not indeed be your own.. but may just be a preprogrammed resoponse to what people told ya years ago this is the way it should be or yer abnormal..

Think? Why are you lonely? whats missing.. is it something you really want or need? Or is it just something in yer past that told ya thats what ya need & want (there is a SIGNIFICANT DIFFERENCE) Now only you can decide whats what.. I cant I can only point to alternate crap ...

Maybe reality isnt as real as you think? What is it that you are misssing REALLY.. (My profile is open to email.. I'm willing to discuss this matter if you want)

Answer 8

it is the old saying, to make a friend you have to be a friend, maybe you are spending too much time studying.......there is more to life than studying..........get involved in something, join a club at school you are interested in......take a chance, try something you have never done before.....you have to find people with similar interests as you and then you will make a few new friends........most people only have one or two good friends, so don't expect to make 10 new friends.......don't think about killing yourself, you have your whole life in front of you. if you think about this often, you need to go and get some counceling, that is a major problem, tell your parents or a councelor at your school how you are feeling.....

Answer 9

I was in the same situation you were in. I though, (because of society) that to meet girls and get numbers, I had to respect women so much that I had to let them come to me. I though it was wrong to look at them as sexual objects in anyway, so I tried to be the nice guy and never showed those feelings to them. I blieved that all woman just want a nice guy. I learned the hard way that thats all nonsense.

I learned that girls do want you to see them as sexual beings that you strongly desire, and they want to know that, but don't go as far as being an a*ss. They don't make the first move unless your a superstar, so I made all the moves. They don't want a nice guy, they want a confident guy who knows when to be nice, and when to be mean, and being, not mean, but aggresive and assertive is the kind of guys they respond to.

After I did this, I got many numbers, many dates, a lot more confidence in myself, and eventually got married to the right woman. I went from wanting to kill myself and having no self-esteem, to feeling very happy to be alive, having confidence and a high self-esteem, and doing very well in life. I think you just need to get out there and make things work your way.

Example, I used to feel that I had to prove to pretty girls that I am good enough for them. Later on, I learned that only made me more depressed, and weak, and at their mercy. I learned that it's girls who have to prove themselves to me. If they participate in good conversation and compadibility, she's cool. If she ignores me like I'm a retard and she's the queen of Earth, then she failed and I move on to the next one.

Maybe that will work for you. I don't have many friends because I don't trust anyone other than my wife, but she makes me feel not lonely anymore.

Answer 10

You must be socially awkward or lack a sense of humour. You don't like phonies but you don't like rebellion either.

I suppose you are too uptight. Loosen up, and tell people what's on your mind. Whatever stupidities that pop in your head. You'll be funny that way and attract people's attention. Don't overdo it though, and make suggestions in front of people. Do you want to do this? Hey,I heard thats cool, lets check it out. You just need to find the right people who share your interests.

Take the iniative.