Are Memories or Blood More important?

Question

Are Memories or Blood More important?
My nephew can home from his biological father's house a few days ago and when I called him today, he told me about how his father's sister explained to him that I am not his aunt and never have been. (His grandpa is my step dad) she told him that she was his only aunt and that I was pretty much nothing but a babysitter.

My parents have been together for other seven years now and my dad is my dad no questions asked. I was there the day that Jared was born, I was there that day to hold him and welcome him into the world with the rest of our family. I pitched a tent on the living room floor and made smores on the kitchen stove when his much anticipated camping trip in the back yard was rained out when he three. But Aunt Clarissa wasn't there. I sat with him and played patty cake for 5 hours straight to keep his hands busy when he had shingles that same year. She was not there. I went with him to get his annual shots so that he would not have to be scared and got my tetanus shot first so he could see that it would all be ok. Once again she wasn't there. I've been there for every birthday and Christmas and she has never been there.

Don't get me wrong I wouldn't change any of these experiences with anyone. Not for anything.

But I want Clarissa to know that she is right. When Jared grows up he will remember that she was his REAL aunt and I was only a STEP AUNT. But more importantly he will remember that I was his friend and that I was ALWAYS there, no matter where or when he needed me. And to me that is sooooo much more important.

Answer 1

Feck that blood is thicker than water crap. You are as much his aunt as your stepdad is your father. Families are about love, not about DNA.

I don't see the need to address Clarissa's petty comments. I don't think she'd even understand what you are trying to say. But you can sit Jared down and tell him what I just said - You are as much his aunt as your stepdad is your father. Families are about love, not about DNA. That's an important lesson that can never be learned too soon.

Bless you for being a loving, active part of his life.

Answer 2

I loved my aunt and uncle equally regardless of with was my parent's sibling. My children do not love my parents any less than my husband side because I was adopted. Blood lines do not mean much to children.
The fact that you are there has meaning. That you show you are interested and care has meaning. Do not write these off because of DNA.
You are his aunt through marriage, so Clarissa is not right. Do not go tit for tat with her, but ask Jared how he feels about you and when he answers tell him that besides a family tree, that is what makes you his aunt. Keep doing what you are doing and he will grow up to regard you as his favorite aunt. Be his favorite aunt, not his friend. He will have enough of those in his lifetime, but it is much more powerful to have a good relationship like that in the family.

Answer 3

Wow, that is very cool that you have someone to share that with. I think memories are WAY more important, and i think you are being a great aunt. I think you should keep hanging out with your nefew! And tell his "real" wunt exactly what you just said. And tell her that you do not appreciate her telling him that, and that no matter what you will always be in his life.
Good luck! :)

Answer 4

even if u r not blood related u r still family and nothing she says can change that. he will always feel like u r his aunt even tho he knows u r not really, and since half of peoples aunt and uncles are married in anyway, what difference does it make?
all that matters is how u and he feels.

Answer 5

tooooooooooooooooooo looooonnnnnnngggggggggg

Answer 6

blood is thicker than water.,