There is a child in my Montessori class that I had a bit of trouble with today. All through out the day he played in the sink and got two shirts wet. He got a little water on one shirt and I had to put another on him. A little bit later he got that one a little bit wet and decided that he wanted to take it off completely. He has a habit of taking off his clothes shoes during school. I told him to put his arms back into his shirt and he said no. I tried to put his arms through the holes of the shirt and he pulled away from my and then proceeded to pitch a fit in the floor. I asked him to get up and he would not. I attempted to assist him to his feet but this was not going to happen so I stepped back and let him continue. Finally the substitute got him to get to his feet by sweet talking him and telling him that they could go put his shirt in the dryer. I am not sure if I did the right thing now or not. Should I have given into the child’s wishes?
2007-02-08 13:55:14 · 7 answers · asked by tigerlily23 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Sometimes it works out great when someone sees the situation in a different light. Yes maybe you could have helped him to see the problem was his own fault but when you are in the middle of a battle of wills it is nearly impossible to think that way. That is why it is great to have a different person in your room so you don't have to back down but the situation can be solved. If it was me I would have let finish his tantrum and then talked about why his shirt was wet and what can we do about it but I know from experience things just don't go like that in a classroom when there is tantrum throwing going on.
2007-02-08 14:07:04 · answer #1 · answered by Tetsi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are there for health and safety. You tried one approach and the substitute tried another. He did not want to put on a wet shirt, even though it was just a little bit damp. You should have dried the shirt (one or both).
As far as leaving him without a shirt while one or both of them were drying, I don't see anything unhealthy or unsafe about that. If he's going to pitch a fit and will not hurt himself or others, then just backing off as you did should be fine. He was indoors at the time. You did not "give in". You simply abandoned an approach that was not working rather than escalate the conflict with a little kid.
2007-02-08 22:10:23 · answer #2 · answered by Thomas K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a homeschooling mother of 3 so I am not sure about what I am going to suggest but I would think that it would be the parents child to teach the child to behave in school & public places. My youngest is just 5 but I can tell you he knows better than the play in water and remove his clothes. He knows when he asked to do something that he is expected to do it. So if I were you I would speak the parents of this child.
When I was just 17 I was babysitting 2 children and the oldest I think was 6. She would throw fits when she didn't get her way. I talked to her parents and still this little kept throwing fits. I wasn't going to sit around and let a 6yr old scream and kick me so one day I took her into her parents room so she could throw her fit away from her 2yr old brother & I. Everytime she opened the door so we could hear her fit I would just close it back saying she could come out when she was done. Believe it or not after a week of this she stopped and her parents were amazed at how the fits stopped.
The point is if this childs parents won't teach him to behave you either can remove the child from the classroom or help him learn how to behave. If you have to or can follow him when he does go to the sink and let him know that he can use the sink as soon as he shows you he is a big boy and can do it by himself with out making a mess. Or better yet assign a child to watch him while he as at the sink (ofcourse you are to keep an eye on the two). This way the child who is acting up will maybe feel a little weird having to be "babysat" just to do a simple act like washing his hands and it is up to him to choose to behave in order to be trusted. Do you see what I mean?
You never ever let a child keep up acting bad when you know they shouldn't. If the child will not get up on his feet. You help him up and make him stand. If he falls back down and acts mad because you made him fall simply let him know that he can either do what the rest of the class is doing or sit off to the side.
Again here is what I suggest: First off talk to the little boys parents. It is their job to teach him how to behave in public and at home. If they don't do their job then if you want you can be the one to help him learn to behave.
2007-02-08 22:13:10 · answer #3 · answered by Faith 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you cave in to every child then you will be walked all over. You did what you though was appropriate and it didn't work because it wasn't given the chance. The sub probably thought she was saving you. The child probably realized he wouldn't get anywhere with you and allowed the other woman to lead him to save face. Even young children have their pride. Take it as a learning experience. You certainly didn't do anything wrong. A child who takes his clothes off at school is definitely going to be a challenge and holding him to the rules was the right thing to do in my opinion.
2007-02-08 22:03:10 · answer #4 · answered by angelbabydoll82 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's tuff. I mean you always have to think about how the parents would want their kids delt w/ or you could wind up in all sorts of hot water. Probably giving into him was best, but if you haven't talk to his parents perhaps you should. That way you get an idea of how to deal w/ him later on if it happens again. I mean always giving in isn't going to do him any favors later on down the road, you know? And I think if you talk to his parents you should stress that as a worry you have in the classroom.
2007-02-08 22:04:09 · answer #5 · answered by aboveparrequestrian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you just need to walk away from a child who's throwing a tantrum. I always did with mine and it worked like a charm.
He wasn't in an area where he could have hurt himself and he just needed to get it out. If you'd forced him to get to his feet, there could have been the possibility that he could have thrown himself back down on the floor thereby smacking his head.
Just my opinion, but I think you did the right thing.
2007-02-08 22:01:38 · answer #6 · answered by laurajustice33613 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you did fine, and a different day it would have worked. If he is a regular problem, you can nicely ask the parents how they handle him and what they find effective. I know a few tricks to work around my daughter by distracting her from her tantrums, and I recommended them to her teachers, who report that it gave them ideas to deal with her.
2007-02-08 22:50:34 · answer #7 · answered by cnIV 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like u handled fairly okay.
2007-02-08 22:05:10 · answer #8 · answered by cruiser 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋