It seems that I never do anything right with my mother. If my brother cleans the kitchen she'll say "Good job." If I clean it she'll say "Why didn't you clean the dining room too?" If something is missing, I am the first one she accuses; and no, I am not a kleptomaniac and I do not have a history of stealing. If a room is messy, I am blamed for it. If my father is stressed, I am blamed for him being upset. If my brothers are getting bad grades, she blames me for not taking the time to help them, and mind you, I have an older sister too. If I get bad grades, she blames me for not spending enough time studying. My brother and I are both chubby, but she always makes fat jokes at me, not him. I have always been the "black sheep" in the family, I admit, but I am not a bad kid. What's a girl to do?
2007-02-08 13:42:53 · 8 answers · asked by osbdevil 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
tell your mom that her behavior towards you is really hurtful.. try talking to your entire family about this...
parents shouldn't choose between their babies
2007-02-08 14:04:10 · answer #1 · answered by mother of teenagers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your mom aware of her behavior? If she isn't, it needs to brought to her attention. It's just awful that she would even joke about being fat at all. But it makes it even worse when she is focusing all of negativity onto you. Obviously, by your statement.."I have always been the "black sheep"...you have been made to feel like this by your environment. You are a unique individual, with your own heart, mind, and soul. If this makes you a black sheep in your family because you are different from them, then there is a problem....with your mom, not you. I would write her a letter, stating specific instances where she has been unfair in her treatment. I would tell her that you love her very much, and the differences in treatment hurts you. Maybe she will open her eyes and her heart and be more aware of her behavior. If she doesn't, at least you have done what you could, and you will feel better getting it off of your chest. Maybe you could even print your question and all the answers and give them to her. She needs to be aware that she is hurting you, and you deserve to be treated with love and respect just like everyone else. You sound more mature and aware than your mom does. Best wishes....
2007-02-08 13:59:50 · answer #2 · answered by sassy_395 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your mom has male supieriority issues. I'm guessing that her father figure put her down constantly and used her as the workhorse in the house, as well as your grandma. Or, her mother was exactly how she is to you, which is more likely. Just a guess.
Perhaps you could document whenever she makes you feel bad. Let her know what you "See" in regards to your brother, (for all you know, he could be getting it worse, but not in front of you-why don't you talk to him?) Then, once a month has passed, re-read everything and (leaving the record in a safe place) come to her and let her know what you feel, then use the facts as examples. If she still rebuffs you, then you may be dealing with a woman who is mentally unstable, and you should begin to learn how to cope in a way so that you don't repeat this with your own daughter.
2007-02-08 14:08:31 · answer #3 · answered by lissa2882 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you of some ethnic background? Some countries like Italy, Greece, etc. Favor Boys better than girls.
Are you the oldest? Some parents blame the oldest girl on not doing enough. Dont ask why. Your mother will never change, but tell her your upset by her comments. Especially fat jokes, they are not nice. Talk to your dad too, maybe he can help. Cry a bit to him, Dad's hate to see thier little girls cry! Good Luck!
My parents still favor my brother too, He's 34!
2007-02-08 14:23:01 · answer #4 · answered by Mammamia3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a sad thing, but between you and your brother, who would you say is the stronger one? More than likely it is you, your brother must get really emotional if they say one little thing negative to him. It's not right that they do this to you, you can either talk to them, or toughen up even more and let what they say roll off your back.
2007-02-08 13:52:16 · answer #5 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey, yes. I've been...actually, I'm STILL in this exact situation! I don't know what the deal is. Seriously. Just keep your head high. I've found staying in my room helps a lot.
Good luck dear! :]
2007-02-08 13:52:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to be rude at all, but since you are older they put every thing on you so the younger one knows what not to do. you are basically an experiment (no offence). they want him to not do anything you do bad, so they give you extra punishment. And i bet your sister loves you, but just messin around.
2007-02-08 13:51:06 · answer #7 · answered by azn_bones 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about normal but it happens,unfortunatly.Try not to believe the negative bs you hear.Believe me,I know its hard!Been there.
2007-02-08 13:48:59 · answer #8 · answered by gotabedifferent 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋