He wants to live together I don't?

Question

Ok I'm back. I had a badly timed meldown. I love him so much but it just got to me each week packing up my stuff and my son's to go to his house. My house is too small for him and 2 kids ( that I love very much) of his to come to me. After 3 yrs I thought we would at least be engaged. We have no talks of the future except his uneasiness about his previous very bad divorce, and his unreadiness to legally commit. My needs seem lost and he is pefectly content to have me there every weekend. I finally asked when in the world we could move forward after 3 yrs, he said he was not ready for marriage, didn't think a piece of paper was important and livng together is what he thinks the next step should be. Due to work, my 11 yr old son and my home, I think living together is a bad choice,marriage is what I fell is the right option. I want to build a life together.Living together totally benefits him not me as I see it am I wrong? I question his love as he can't commit. Help

I have been at his house EVERY weekend for 3 yrs also on all Xmas, summer, Easter vacation the entire break time.We travel together. He treats my son well and all kids get along. His are teens.He has custody, Mother is not involved. I own my 2 bdr condo, he has 4bdr home about 20 miles away. My sons Father is also not involved but pays support. Our 2 boys call each other "brothers'. I feel an obligation to his children as I love them, but I feel his failure to commit is betraying us all and sending a poor message to all of the children involved not just mine

Answer 1

Marriage should be the next step there are children involved what would living together be saying to them. If you do not want to live together then don't after 3 yrs. of knowing you he should offer you more.

Answer 2

I am totally on board with you! The way I see it is that you have 7 more years before you need to bring all of this chaos into your boys life. If he is not ready to make a commitment of marriage after 3 years then chances are that he will never make that commitment. You DO NOT want to give your son the impression that living with him out of wedlock is the right thing to do. In my eyes he is treating you like an unpaid whore!! Packing up on weekends just to satisfy his "weekly" needs is NO Good for your boy!! I think that you need to worry more about raising your son than trying to keep this man happy, and by the way he should be more concerned with raising his two children also. Stay strong and do the RIGHT THING!!!! Good Luck

Answer 3

. think ofyou've have been given been in a committed relationship for 3 years, and you haven't any longer stepped forward to being engaged yet? Uh, this is a project for many women individuals. If she does now no longer come residing many circumstances, there's a purpose. whether or no longer she's cheating or now no longer, what she easily is doing is sending you a clean message that she's bored stiff in waiting which you would be able to indicate marriage. it rather is time so as which you will be certain if your relationship together with her is all you surely choose, or might you on the different hand be on my own without her. Do you assume which you would be able to desire to ever in looking somebody you are able to desire to be better comfortable with? Do you 2 have the full factors of a protracted lasting love? Do you already know and tolerate each and each others ameliorations, and characteristic exciting jointly. Do you believe each and each diverse and comprehend one yet another. Do you each and every and each proportion and care in an equivalent and balanced potential? in case you may no longer have all this, are you able to with fairly artwork? you may ask her the question, or face the certainty, you are able to desire to lose her. I choose you like stw .

Answer 4

you do not want to move in but you want to get married(then you have to move in right?) I think you should respect the fact that he had a bad divorce and is triing not to make the same mistake with you. I think that he is triing to take baby steps by having you sleep over every now and again. You guys need to talk and work things out,do not just throw everything away that you work so hard for. Give it a little more time.

Answer 5

Leave him! Never compromise, or least do not compromise any more. Life is too short. Any you are his built in baby sitter. If you are the type person I think you are he will either see what he is loosing and come around or leave you for the opportunity of a life time. You can NEVER see another partner until you let him go. So just let go,take care of your son. In time you will be happy even without a man. I waited for years until my child was and adult then love found me at my class reunion.

Good Luck to You

Answer 6

If you want a commitment of marriage, you should not move in with him. Three years is plenty of time to decide whether you want to be with someone for the rest of your life, and if he cannot make that decision at this point, you need to really move on or be happy with dating him forever.
He cannot hide behind his past hurts forever. You have been together long enough to know your character. I would not move in. And yes, it does totally benefit him if you move in. It benefits you in companionship, but you are not getting the commitment that you need. If you need it, don't settle for not having it.

Answer 7

If you feel this way, don't question your feelings react upon them and let them be known. You know whats right in your heart, don't dwell, it just makes things more difficult. Trust your instincts. Take care Heather

Answer 8

Do what you are comfortable with. If you aren't comfortabe living with another man, then explain that you would like to wait, and if he doesn't like that answer, he isn't for you. I hope that this is the best answer!

Answer 9

like jenny said, do want u want. No man owns you(except your father).

Answer 10

What would your living & work arrangement be if you two were to marry?