do parents sometimes say you cant do something just to contro you??

Question

like dye your hair or get pearcing? , i knww my mom had freaked hair back in the day so its hipicriticil???????

Answer 1

They are trying to prevent you from making the same mistakes they made.

HeII, I cussed my a$$ off in high school and I'd freak out if my kids started cussing everywhere in school.

Answer 2

In my opinion, no. Most parents want the best for their children and hope that the children can learn from the parent's mistakes. To dye your hair may seem like a simple thing, but all kinds of things can go wrong. Plus, once the roots start to grow up, what are you going to do, keep putting color in it. A piercing can leave the wrong impression with other, older people, especially when it comes time to look for a job. Plus, you can get a nasty infection if not done at the right place. You have your whole life ahead of you once you turn 18--then you can make all of your own choices.

Answer 3

Of course it's control. But it's not the same kind of control as they have over, say, allowance. (speaking of which...I need to bug my own parents on that...anyways) It's the kind of control that's not really "control" per se as it is restricting you from doing something they probably did when they were the same age, that they don't want you repeating. I know it sounds really strange coming from someone like me - after all, I AM at the "rebellious" age of 15 - but believe me, when they control you they have a reason.

For instance, my own mother is very strict on me getting a haircut. The one time she let up her rigidity towards the subject (when I was 12), I went to get a cool haircut and dye job, and completely botched it. For an entire half a year I went around in a horrible-looking cut that was an ugly hybrid of a dutch-boy cut and a mullet, with red tips that washed out to a horrendous orange. To this day I'm still finding streaks of orange in my hair.

Getting back on topic, it's these kinds of things they're trying to keep you from doing - stupid, preventable mistakes. I've made it a habit to use what I call the "5-year rule": before I ask if I can do anything outrageous, I ask myself, "If I look back at this in about 5 years, will I be patting myself on the back or kicking myself in the butt?" If the answer is "kicking myself in the butt", I don't do it.

Obviously you don't have to follow my advice, you can ignore it completely if you want. That's just my two cent's worth.

Answer 4

Although I don't have kids, I'm not under my parent's control anymore, so I have a little bit of experience here. I think that parents are trying to do what they think is best for you. I also think that going to your parents in a rational manner can help you find a good middle ground. There were times that I wanted to do crazy things with my hair when I was a teenager, but my parents said no. In retrospect I think that some of those things were too over the top, but other things (like pink hair) were not too bad and my parents and I decided that it was okay. It was better then someone permenent like a tattoo or a piercing. Just talk to them rationally.

Answer 5

Yes, parents set rules to control. That doesn't necessarily mean that they get some kind of kick out of controlling others. It may mean that they have some reason for not allowing their kids to do something. Like, maybe your Mom had her hair colored way back when and maybe she got teased or got some kind of rash from the hair dye or some other thing happened that she doesn't want to happen to you. Or maybe she has loved all the days of having you for a little girl and its too hard for her to let you grow up. Or maybe you think you're old enough and she doesn't. Maybe in some calm moment you can ask "Why?" and have a good talk.

Answer 6

I became a parent only 6 years ago and any decision I make that keeps my kids from doing something is not selfish or hypocritical. What you are experiencing is love. Doing unnatural things to your body - especially at a young age - does not go over well with any parent. This is because they see now that doing what they did was a waste of time and didn't get them any further in life, socially that is.

Another point is that you probably live in a christian (at least morally sound) family and they are right to think that God made you - along with everyone else - perfect as you are. There is no need to change anything.

Anyone who does not accept you for who you NATURALLY are is not your friend anyway. Therefore, you shouldn't waste your time trying to impress them.

Listen to your parents and enjoy life as it is.

Answer 7

I keep a picture of my daughter from when she was of the age where she could start determining her own "look". She wishes I didn't have it. She looks cute and all, but not a look she'd go for now, if you now what I mean.

Yeah, sometimes parents go too far in trying to protect their kids from being 'goofy' or 'stupid', but within bounds, I think that at a certain age you need to start making your own decisions so you can learn from them.

I think in most cases it's not to control you, though some parents start feeling old, threatened, and useless when kids start becoming more independent. Try and be sensitive to that. If you're old enough to be thinking about your own style, you're old enough to be thinking about other people's feelings too. Deal with it the right way now, and it'll pay off in the end. Life is long.

Good luck.

(BTW - I think most piercings are dumb, same for tattoos, but I guess that's just my opinion.)

Answer 8

Same of the things they say no about are things they look back on and regret, and they dont want you to have to have that experience. Plus, usually when you get older, you see that it probably would have looked silly anyway. I know I do when I think about how I wanted to dye my hair purple!

But other things I just dont think they're ready to let you grow up yet, things like wearing heels or your first date. You have to understand, you're their baby, and its not their intention to hold you back from the world.

Its up to you to show them you're responsible, honest and trustworthy. Only then will they give you more freedom and trust you with making your own decisions. This means giving them details about where you're going, showing you can take care of your rooms and such around the house, introducing your friends.

Trust me on this. I've been through alot with my parents, and so far behind honest really has been the best. No, I havent told them everything, but I havent tried to sneak out to any parties which I probably didnt need to be going to anyway.

Answer 9

Yeah, but just remember, our parents made all those stupid mistakes before us. So it's more like them just trying to protect us.

Trust me, in 10 years when you see pictures of yourself from right now, you'll want to burn the picture! haha!

Answer 10

my mom
says that bu he dosnt like control
me
i em mature enough
to kno at i em doing and
take charg but in a good way i learn from my mistaks