I have been with my boyfriend almost two years now, and I am sure he never cheated on me. However I've seen some of his online conversation with ex-girlfriends and friends, and they were really bad. He was really flirting with them and I felt like I was been cheated. He also still talks to his ex and lies to me that he doesn't. Am I going crazy? He says that he lives with me and he doesn't want anything with those other girls...what should I do? I keep checking his msn message history and I just can't seem to trust him anymore...Help
2007-02-08 12:57:57 · 11 answers · asked by Renata F 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Have a serious conversation with him. Tell him that he is causing damage to your relationship. If he won't stop this behavior I would think about moving on. He sounds very selfish.
2007-02-08 13:01:26 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same exact thing with my ex. Get the key word there, EX!! She saw nothing wrong with flirting with her ex-boyfriend and would lie about hanging out with him. Her reasoning was that she didn't tell me because I would just get mad. I would rather her be open and tell me he was there because then it wouldn't seem like she was hiding something. If it feels like he's hiding something, he is.
She would eventually cheat on me (with someone else) and I regret I was with her to this day. My advice leave him. You don't like what's he's doing, and if he knows that and doesn't respect your concerns, then he doesn't respect you. Leave now before it gets worse. It will, I assure you. I know its hard, but trust me, it'll be a lot harder when you find out he cheated on you.
2007-02-08 21:07:18 · answer #2 · answered by LTP 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think he should be having any kind of communication what so ever with an ex. I personally have had a bad experience with that and had to learn the hard way but I would need to know more details about that ex that he talks to to be able to tell you my true input. email me if you like
2007-02-08 21:11:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) trust is the foundation of any relationship...
2) Your problem is trust, pure and simple.
3) If you feel his actions are untrustworthy (I certainly would), then my suggestion is to simply take a stand... "This behavior is not o.k. with me... period. Either you change it or I'm walkin". Note, you have to mean it...
4) Personally, been there, done that... Life is to short to tolerate the negative feelings that mistrust breeds... You're always on guard, feel the need to snoop, uncertain about your partner... etc. etc. etc... These are all negative feelings and no one is worth it..
- good luck... YOU DESERVE OPEN HONEST TRUSTWORTHY FEELINGS AND ACTIONS. SO GO GET EM!!!
2007-02-08 21:09:54 · answer #4 · answered by gjm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a couple exes I keep in touch with. My current long-distance sort-of girlfriend is pissed off about that. I don't hide anything, and I'm completely honest about it. But nothing I can do can allay her suspicion. (Plus one of my exes is Japanese and this girl is Korean, brings out the racist in her) She imagines WAAAAY more than is actually there between me and my ex.
You might be doing that, and I suggest you check yourself before you start throwing around accusations. I don't know if you're right or wrong, but make sure you're right before you go undermining your relationship for no reasion.
While you're at it, ask him not to sneak around if he's going to talk to his exes. If he's got nothing to hide, he shouldn't try to. OTOH, if he's got nothing to hide, but he thinks that you think he does, he might feel he has to sneak around, even if it's completely innocent.
2007-02-08 22:14:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
look if you can't feel comfortable with him just break up.i know easier said than done but still would you rather be with a nicer guy that you know would never cheat on you or still worry about your boyfriend cheating on you. it sounds kind of bad that you have to read his msn but i think you should move on
2007-02-08 21:04:35 · answer #6 · answered by peter pan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like he is worth trusting . . . he wants his cake and eat it too. Emotional cheating is just as bad as physical cheating. Do yourself a favor and move on.
2007-02-08 21:01:29 · answer #7 · answered by lady_blu_iz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is there to understand? He's untrustworthy and has been from the beginning but you didn't find out about it at first. He's lying to you and you are confused because he says one thing and does another. You need to believe facts not words.
2007-02-08 21:04:26 · answer #8 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing wrong keeping in touch with an old flame. but meeting them or talking to them in secrecy, now that one is bad. ask him why there is a need to hide. trust is very important in a relationship.
2007-02-08 21:02:00 · answer #9 · answered by xyne_love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can't be trusted anymore. If you are questioning him and he is lying, its time fore you to move on and find someone who really cares. If you are feeling these feelings now trust your heart and instincts, move on. Take care Heather
2007-02-08 21:02:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋