Is Al-Anon the only option or are there alternative groups / philosophies for dealing with an alcoholic?

Question

My husband is an alcoholic and I need help coping and deciding on my next move. He goes to AA meetings but I've always resented that AA insists that alcoholism is a disease that an alcoholic has no control over. I think that's not only unfair but nonsensical when compared to people with REAL TERMINAL diseases. An alcoholic can choose not to drink, I've seen my husband do it. A child cancer patient doesn't have that option. So the fact that Al-Anon members practice the 12 steps on themselves kind of rubs me the wrong way. Yes, I am FULL of flaws and stand before you by the grace of God (both 12 step ideas), but my husband is STILL AT FAULT for drinking. I like the idea of detachment that Al-Anon uses, but someone still has to pay, and I'm sick of it being me and my kids. I'm happy to try Al-Anon, but I'm just curious if there's anything else out there.

Answer 1

I know a lot of people seek out counseling or religous groups in lue of Al-Anon. The Al-Anon program isn't for everyone. For me, it has given me my life back and I am forever grateful that it has been there when I needed it. The 12 steps are used in many recovery programs. They allow us to learn more about ourselves and actually have very little to do with alcoholism per se. They are more like a guide to living life on life's terms. I use the tools I have learned in all areas of my life - work, school, personal relationships. I have developed deep freindships with people who understand what it is like to walk in my shoes. I can't tell from your sharings whether you've actually attended an Al-Anon meeting but I urge you to at least give it 6 meetings before you decide it isn't for you. Today I laugh , I love...I feel. I have peace and serenity in my life even when chaos surrounds me. Whatever you decide to do or where-ever you decide to go - I sincerely hope you find that peace and serenity in your life.

Answer 2

There are smaller localized groups but they are not as well known or as well publicized as AA. I partly share your feelings, I feel there is a personal responsibility for actions. I make a personal choice not to drink, or I make a choice to drink! The alcohol does affect an alcoholic in a different way to the average person, but that does not mean that the person cannot decide to leave alcohol alone. I know that taking crack cocaine would be bad for me, therefore I don't do it! Simple...but not so simple too!