Over the past two years I have gotten pretty good jobs, and quit everyone. I have been depressed. All along thinking it was work, but today i realized its my gf. We are engaged and have a two year old girl. I have been working soo hard to help us get ahead but when i come home it feels like my gf doesnt even care, and she cant relax with me she is pretty self absorbed. I am the kind of guy women dream about, i dont like sports, i like to cuddle, I am giving and honest. I offer to make her teas, today i was sick with bad chills and i asked her to make me a soup, she said no. I dont understand why she even wants me here,
2007-02-08 12:32:11 · 21 answers · asked by good guy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Your fiance may not really want a relationship, which if it is the truth is horrible, because not only do you have history, you have a child.
My best advice is to ask her straight out, if she wants to get married. If she does, proceed as normal. If not, move out, seek help, start looking for another job and talk to a lawyer to make sure that your little girl is taken care of.
2007-02-08 12:36:27 · answer #1 · answered by di12381 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, there are several things that are out of sequence here.
1. She is tired of being a mommy. It's full time to take care of a 2 year-old.
2. You are pursuing some goals that she does not share and you quit good jobs without talking it over with her.
3. The attitude that you are a dream guy is not one that she is buying.
Here's what she sees: Financially constrained because you quit your jobs. Little quality time with you because of working so hard to get ahead. You are not sharing in the parenting when you come home. Engagement/wedding is stressful as well.
How am I doing at describing the situation?
2007-02-08 12:42:38 · answer #2 · answered by Thomas K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should ask yourself why you want to be there, not why she wants you there. It's obvious she is using you for a meal ticket. If she loves you, she would want to give as much as take in the relationship. It sounds as if you are a very nice guy, that a women should appreciate, not use. Discuss this with her and tell her how you feel. If she is so self absorbed she won't listen, or belittles you, you need to make a decision. You either want to stay in a one-sided relationship and be unhappy, or you go your own way and find someone that will appreciate you. You deserve to be loved and respected, and believe me, there are plenty of women out there who would appreciate you.
2007-02-08 12:43:03 · answer #3 · answered by sassy_395 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must get both of you into couples counseling immediately and air your grievances. This secrecy will deepen and both of you will harden. What is interesting is that you choose someone who was trying to destroy your soul, and I bet your mother did that to you.
If she refuses counseling, you go, and start building up mental cruelty case against her for divorce. Them don;t date for at least a year, and start learning more about yourself in therapy,. The Forum, self help, etc.
Date again only after you are totally divorced a full year, to the red flags of danger surface and you can walk away from a potential disaster, as this seems to be.
2007-02-08 12:39:21 · answer #4 · answered by Legandivori 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about this..it's really crappy when one person is a giver and the other is a taker. You know..it might help the situation if you both sat down and had talk. Communication is key in a relationship and how is she going to fully understand how you feel if you don't tell her. If talking about it doesn't really work..then I would suggest seeking counseling for your relationship. It would be best for you and your partner..plus benefit your little girl.
2007-02-08 12:44:22 · answer #5 · answered by ktopping23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's obvious she doesn't love you. Break the engagement and leave her.
If she really loved you, she would take care of you when you're sick and you would not have to ask her!
Don't stay because of the kid. She is not worth it. The marriage would not last and you would end up divorcing anyway.
Find someone better who really cares.
2007-02-08 12:36:57 · answer #6 · answered by Nancy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you might want to consider getting un-engadged.. you sound like your unhappy in a unhealthy relationship.. whether most men admit it or not we have feelings too.. and being treated like a shoe heel isnt a nice thing.. we can treat our women like a queen and they sh*t on us all over...i am lucky with my present gf and hopefully soon to be my wife.. my gf says that in a relationship both partners are supposed to treat the other like they want to be treated.. so if that is really the case.. maybe your gf wants the cold shoulder.. as for your daughter what ever happens make sure she is aware daddy loves her .. whatever the outcome man i wish you luck!
2007-02-08 12:46:01 · answer #7 · answered by idrlh2o 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit her down and tell her that you have to talk to her. ask her what up with treating you like that, and tell her how you feel about being treated so bad, sounds like somethings wrong in the picture. maybe you might want to have her watched for a week or two just to see whats up. good luck.
2007-02-08 12:39:42 · answer #8 · answered by minnesotabluerags 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do all of that to her and she doesn't give a thing in return. Sounds like you should talk to her about how you feel. If she doesn't agree with any of your opinions, I don't know what to say. You should have thought twice before engaging. =[)
2007-02-08 12:37:29 · answer #9 · answered by marco 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She must love you if she wants you there, but you need to have a talk with her and ask her why she does not help you out when you need it.
2007-02-08 12:36:11 · answer #10 · answered by Wendy C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋