Is it normal to have a very terrible fear of dying?

Question

I lose sleep at night because I know one day I will no longer exist. It is so sad that we only get a little bit of time here and then it's all over. I don't believe in the religious aspect of it and I really wish I could know the truth. I refuse to accept a heaven and hell theory because it has never been proven and is very unlikely anyway, it just sounds like a way to make people be good. This isnt a religious question though, I just want to know what I could do to get over this terrible fear and sadness. I dont want any answers similar to "accept jesus as your savior"

It's a serious problem

Answer 1

When I was younger, I was afraid of death. It sort of set in when I realized my own mortality. Since that time, however, I have had several mystical experiences that have led me to not fear death, for I know it is not the end.

But those are simply my experiences, and I can understand where they don't help you--you only have my word for it, and you don't know me. I will say that in having my experiences, I didn't have to "accept" anything--in fact, every experience I have had along this line has been a surprise. It was just there.

I would suggest something that may give you peace of mind. At least it is worth a try. Watch your breath as you go to sleep. Feel it become even--slow steady inbreath, slow steady outbreath. Become aware of your surroundings-the sights, scents, touches, sounds. Don't let your mind run away with you--just truly be aware of the present moment, like it is the most important moment you have. (In reality, all we ever have is the present moment, if you think about it.) Now take your attention to inside yourself. Does your chest feel open and peaceful, or is it tight and tensed up? Focus your breath on opening your chest. Remember to keep it slow and even. If you find your mind wanting to interrupt with fears or worries, let them go and go back to focusing on the breath. I usually do a slow count of 7 in and slow count of 7 out--that's long enough to keep my mind from wandering and not too long to get bored.

When you feel your chest opening up and feeling more peaceful, remind yourself to remember your dreams. They are the vehicle your subconscious can use to help you find out more about yourself. Be open to what comes.

May you find peace.

Answer 2

You have no idea how much I understand what you mean. I would sometimes just be sitting in class and would just know that I was going to die someday and nothing else would matter. Nothing. i could just get up and walk away because a fog would just come over me. It would happen 3 or 4 times a day and I would just feel breathless because i was so scared of not existing..and NOT knowing what will happen. We go to bed and wake up. No we go to bed forever, an eternal sleep. I am semi-religious, but I wish i had more faith to help me accept it. i don't know what made my obsession with it stop..but it seemed to dimish in the past year..thankfully. But I guess I have good friends and I keep my mind off of it as much as possible. Don't dwell and suposively there is something much better after this life..that is the only advice I have. Good luck.

Answer 3

Its not that abnormal of a fear for most I think.. But when ya think of it its a pretty unreasonable fear.. no one ever has gotten out of life alive yet.. and they never will.. you are no exception.. So you can either go nuts about it or accept the FACT its gonna happen someday... and none of that has anything to do with any religion aspects... Really what are you afraid of? Many have come and gone before you and many will come and go after you.. and face it its not anything you have any control over.. whats the worst thats gonna happen since you dont subscribe to the Heaven hell theory.. worst thats gonna happen is POOF one day you will just nolonger be.. is that so bad?

What is it that Clint Eastwood said to the Indian Chief in Outlaw Josey Wales? Dyin' is easy.. Livin' is hard...

Answer 4

As a person who doesn't fear death, I'd have to say start living one moment at a time, you have no control over your destiny, what will be will be, don't worry about tomorrow because tomorrow hasn't come as of yet, face each day with hope and when you lay your head down at night thank your lucky stars you've made it through another day and when you wake up tomorrow thank the sun for shining in your life, for bringing light into your heart, and just hope that you make it through the day, Fear is a great deterrant, it stops you from living, go ahead start living, put the fear aside, let it not control your life no more.

Answer 5

Normal to fear death, nearly everyone does. Not normal to be obsessed with it as you are. You need to get some counseling from someone such as a therapist or if you are a teen in school, see the school counselor.
Death is an end product. We are born, grow, mature, bear fruit (kids), grow old in most cases and then wither away and die. The wonder of human life is that is is longer than nearly every other animal life on this planet, barring some tortoises. And they don't ever look real happy. We as a general rule, especially if you are on a computer--obviously no longer have to hunt and gather food, and live from day to day in fear of hunger and attack by wild animals or attacks by roving bands of tribal enemies. Modern life is absolutely wonderful in comparison to just 100 years ago or more. My mother's family until she was in her teens still used a team of horses and a wagon to go to town (an all day event to go 10 miles) or visit relatives. They had to plow their field with a team and plow, and raising a vegetable garden was a necessity, not a hobby for people as it is today.
It saddens me to see people like you unhappy, and worrying about eventual death. Yes, death is a finality, there is no heaven or hell or any other religious post life existence, but you have an awful lof of time to enjoy life, not focus on the negative aspects. You probably don't have to milk the cow or get up to make bread from scratch, have heat and water that you don't have to carry up from the stream---you got it easy, in other words. Have fun and enjoy the positive things-look at nature, enjoy how trees bud out in the spring and everything turns green, and birds and bugs and everything else is excited to be alive.
Death will come sometime, but work to put yourself into a position of acceptance of eventual fate, but put it far in the future. Hope to sit back when you are in your autumn years and look back at your life and the fun you've had, so that if you don't wake up the next day, so what. You lived your life to its fullest potential.

Answer 6

Some of the greatest men and women in history were obsessed with the subject that troubles you, and it motivated them to embark on their own very serious and ultimately rewarding spiritual quests! Fear is something that dominates everyones life, whether they choose to admit it or not, and the particular form it takes, like yours for example, can be unique to the individual. If you can address fear, solving its "question," you will have gone a long way to setting yourself free, and as a result you will be on your way to a very promising life indeed! This question has many spiritual undertones, but does not lend itself to any particular religion, but rather demands you find the answer for yourself. There are very few disciplines in the world that will not make the problem worse, as they have mostly all been fear based systems, so you are better off not "following" anyone or any system to get to your truth. The best way to begin, is to become very observant of yourself when you are afraid, and like a detective, go to the root of it, for the answer to your question is in you, just as is the problem. Don't shrink from it, it can be unraveled and you will be both profoundly delighted and rewarded for your courage and your efforts.

Answer 7

It is very normal to have this fear.What is next? We don't have a clue.Very scary.Just remember,we're all on this rollercoaster ride together.We all will die.There's nothing we can do about it.I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better.I don't. You don't want religious answers but here is what I feel anyway. If there is no God, we will simply cease to be.That's not so bad.It all just ends. No pain. If there is a God that created this beautiful universe,which is what I believe,and has given us everything we need to make life beautiful,then this is an understanding God.No one will be punished,we may have to learn a few things,but I happen to believe God is also patient. If what I think is true, then there is no reason to worry about death.We will be in a wonderful place after our bodies die. No pain. So God or not don't worry. Take care.

Answer 8

It's pretty normal. There are days when I'm not concerned about death because I know eventually, one day I will die. Then there are days I get so paranoid about death, I can't even sleep in the dark like I usually do. I fear getting shot, getting hit by a car or train, getting decapitated, etc. I think after watching a horror film or something dealing with death is when I lose sleep and am filled with fears of dying. But, I change my thought process or say a prayer to God(I'm Christian) and I surround myself with anyone like family, talk to a friend on the phone, or come on here and chat with people. It definitely helps me get over that fear.




Krazy Libra

Answer 9

If you have a good strong relationship with God it would not be something you would worry about. You would understand it and what happens to you after wars so you would loose all fear. You would also know and believe that God would take care of those you leave behind.

We only fear that which we don't truly understand and it is no different with death.

Answer 10

No, it's not normal.

See a doctor. It sounds like you're obsessing over something you can't do anything about. There are medications that can stop the negative thought loops and give you some peace of mind.

Best of luck to you!