My girlfriend caught her fiance in a couple of lies. Not serious ones, but ones that he knew that if she found out, would hurt her feelings.
At this point, she has a very hard time believing anything he says. He gets very upset and is good at defending himself.
Are their more signs that she should actually be reading into this?
2007-02-08 11:51:35 · 13 answers · asked by Nunya 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Times everything during a courtship by 100 for after the wedding. Its hard to say what to read into this since I don't know exactly what the lies were but...its my guess that she is having second thoughts. If he lied about something he knew would hurt her feelings then she can expect a lot of the same after marrying him...only without the lies to try to not hurt her feelings. He'll probably just do it and say....wow...don't get so uptight!!! But...chances are these things will be few and far between (say 6 months apart) and about things that they have discussed and she was clearly against him doing. I think she should take it with a grain of salt and just sit back and watch. Whatever is done in the dark can and will come out in the light. If I were her I would just start talking...and I did say talking...about doing things that he has said in the past that would really upset him if he ever found out. Something along the same lines as what he did. After a while of doing this for several days I would find the perfect time to look him dead in the eye and ask him how it feels to be frustrated and upset by her POSSIBLE actions.....then ask him to consider how he would feel if she had actually done them and were continually defending herself. She should find out how to forgive but not forget. Turn about is not fair play but creating scenarios that would be fair play is just fantasy land and is fair game. Besides....anything boys can do girls can do better!!! hehe
2007-02-08 12:04:02 · answer #1 · answered by igot_terminal_uniqueness 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am wondering if the lies has anything to do with infidelity or trust. if it does and she feels deep down inside that he is still lying, then she needs to move on because it will continue after they get married. if he is honest and comes clean and speak his intentions for why he lied other than just making her upset then they should talk about having better communications and seek premarital counseling before she says I DO!
2007-02-08 12:02:13 · answer #2 · answered by cocoabutter1980 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES! Why was the truth so hard? If you're friends, create a situation and see if he tells her. If he hides what is unnecessary to hide, he can and WILL hide other things. He probably says that he doesn't want to hurt her, but once advised of withholding, he should he stop...if he doesn't, she needs to really consider. Once trust is broken, it's downhill no matter how big or small the situation
2007-02-08 11:56:19 · answer #3 · answered by eleven 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well she should think if she really wants to be with him... im not saying call off the wedding now but reevaluate the relationship... my mother always said that once a cheater always a cheater and once a liar always a liar... if he is lying about small things what else could he be lying about? what else will he lie about? what is he hiding?
2007-02-08 11:57:11 · answer #4 · answered by sprtzgrl380 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he would lie about something small and insignifigant I am sure he would lie about bigger more substancial things. Of course there is more than what she is reading into... but it is hard to say, maybe he is just stupid and doesnt appreciate what he has. Either way, he cant respect her.
2007-02-08 11:56:32 · answer #5 · answered by lllll 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it really all depends on exactly why hes lying, and what hes trying to cover up. if his lies seem to all be sorta linked in a way, then she should read more into it. but if there all just random little lies, then its probably nothing.
2007-02-08 11:55:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Liars are always liars for what she is afraid. Of course she wants a truthful & sincere person in her life.
2007-02-08 11:56:30 · answer #7 · answered by P S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lie is a lie.If they cant be truthful with each other about everything their relationship is doomed.I say they because it takes two to make it work or fail.
2007-02-08 11:56:26 · answer #8 · answered by rockman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
will when he is lieing that shows her that hes not a onest man that is not a good man that is just like turning your back on some one that you love. so i think that if hes lieing an when he lies an she trys to talk to him about it an he gets mad about it i think that its wrong so she needs to check him an put him in his place.
he wouldent like it if the tables where turned
2007-02-08 11:57:43 · answer #9 · answered by SGT SEXY MAMA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is getting defensive then that is a big sign that something is seriously wrong. If he hasnt done anything wrong then y get mad? U have to ask ur self these things
2007-02-08 11:56:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋