So, my boyfriend is being a complete...jerk.?

Question

Jerk...yeah, that's the word. The other day we were talking online. He says that he doesn't know if he ever actually liked me. That, he didn't know if it was working, but "he was trying". The next day at school, he was being such a jerk. Even my friends pointed it out to me. He wouldn't really talk to me, and when he did it was in a "dont mess with me" tone. Escpecially on the phone. So, today I called him idiot in Japanese. It didn't make me feel better, but it's always fun. I don't neccessarily want to break up with him, because all other times he's great. Not really a great boyfriend, but great in general. I mean, after all of this(he might move) if he moves, I don't think we'll try a long distance thing, really.
How should I get him to be a bit, oh...nicer, and how to get him to like me?

And, I'm only 13. So, don't post something stupid like...
"Hes a jerk. Get rvng. Slp wit his bro."
Cause that isn't cool.

1) Haha. Thanks for that "mature" thing...I don't get that often. Hehe.

2) About that person who said calling him an idiot was a bad thing...
A) It's "Baka" not "Baca"
B) I said it in a joking matter. He knew I was joking. He doesn't even know what it means.
C) His response wasn't the best...I don't think you'd like it if a guy said "You know what? SCREW YOU!" then walked away.

Also...a quick note to you people who say "Us girls love it when guys are jerks."
Guess what? We don't!
Some of us might...
However, that isn't. me.
He's my first boyfriend(Guys at my school are pretty...bad to us girls who are geeky. I'm quite a geek) but he's not the first guy who's been a jerk to me whom I've liked. A few times it's almost reduced me to tears. I say "almost" because I don't cry over guys...it's wierd, but I don't. Made me the ranter I am today. I hate it when guys are jerks...so, yeah.

And that "Sleep with his bro" thing...it was a joke. 1) I'm young...2) I would never do that...3) He doesn't have a brother...Heh.

Gosh, I'm adding many details here...
1) He, and I, are not interested in "sex". Trust me...that is not an issue. Never has come up, never will come up. He's one of those guys that isn't interested in that sort of stuff.
2) I'm not in love with him, he's not in love with me. I'm not looking for love, really. More like a guy to like, who looks forward to seeing me, etc...

Answer 1

First of all you shouldn't let anyone treat you that way. If he's acting like a jerk, you have to call it on him, QUICK. Set your boundaries, and let him know that he can't just walk all over you like that.
I know you are only 13, but the earlier you can stand up for yourself, the better off you will be, the rest of your life!
I myself was shy all through high school and even college. Every year I get better, but looking back at it all, I wish I had always just said what I needed to say, as soon as it needed to be said. A sharp tongue is not a bad thing if you have to defend yourself. Do it in a way that he can't get mad - just respect you more... (i.e. do it elegantly, smile, etc, but be firm)
Good luck!

Answer 2

When I was 13 I was much in your position. Love and respect yourself enough to walk away from him. You don't need a guy with an bad attitude. You need someone that cares about your feelings, a person who supports you and respects you. This guy doesn't sound like he even passes for a friend. I am almost 30 now and what I learned is the more you ask for what you want and stand up for it, the more the guy will respect you and try to give you what you want. But that is only for someone that truly wants to be with you. I read this book a few years ago "He's just not into you". Don't be intimated by the title cause I think it would help you out. You deserve better and there are so many guys out there that will adore you for who you are!

Answer 3

This is coming from a guy,

Well isnce you have said that you are 13 i will bring this into play, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

I'm 27 and i thought these kind of things meant the world and everything, But there is a very good chance by the time you are 16 and way furthermore by the time you are 18 you will not even have a memory of this dude.

He says" I don't know if i ever actually liked you, If he's your boyfriend he should be able to tell you if he likes you.

Answer 4

I'm not sure what to say, but he said he didn't know if he actually liked you. I'd feel more uncomfortable with that aspect then him being a jerk, but that's just my opinion.

I think you should ask him first why he treated you badly and why he doesn't know the reason he got into a relationship without knowing if he ever actually liked you.

Hope that helps and you're being more mature about this than most people your age. Congrats for that!

Answer 5

sweeti, u are just 13....do you know how many boys u will go through in your lifetime?? don't even bother with him any more. Guys think if u treat a girl like dirt that they will stick to u like mud. If u start letting guts treat u any kind of way now u will be setting a pattern for the rest of your life, and listen to someone who has been there and done that that is something u dont want to do. Stick up for yourself. if he is treating u badly breakup with him and move on and dont look back. as u get older u realize that it only gets worse. im not trying to scare u because there are some good guys out there but now is the time to start setting ur standards for what is and is not acceptable or things will become much worse. good luck hope i helped.

Answer 6

Actually, you're a very mature 13. Mad props on your grammar.

Don't get revenge, or sleep with his "bro." If he's being a jerk, give him one chance to stop, and if he doesn't, then break up with him. You're 13, and there are other guys out there that won't be a jerk to you for no reason.

Answer 7

You are still very young so I am going to be very truthful to you. It will be much like an answer your parents may give you so you may dismiss it but... Boys and girls at 13 are just moving into the realm of true relationships. A girl sees love, devotion, and admiration, and wants to feel closeness to a boy, dreaming of forever and the fantasy of true love. As a man who was once 13, I can tell you that although a boy may need to feel closeness they are more driven by the hormonal need to follow their penis wherever it may lead. For the most part, boys at this age and even into their 20's, 30's and even more are seeking to, paraphrase, "score" as much and as often as possible. Some of these boys never truly grow up and continue this childish behavior into "adulthood". Although a boy may truly like a girl it is all about sex. A boy may tell you how much he loves you but many times after you let him have you he seems to lose interest very quickly. He will ignore many of your needs except when he is horny and after the quick sex act which may often make you feel used and cheap he will seem disinterested until the next time. My advise to you is to have all the fun you can at 13. And I don't mean sexually. Keep your relationships simple and friendly but don't fall into the stigma of what you think is "love". Believe your older parents and friends when they say that "love" doesn't exist at 13. Because when you get older you will realize that it really doesn't. I know the feelings bring hurt to you. And it is difficult to feel for someone that doesn't seem to feel the same back. But at 13 you should be going on friend dates with many boys and girls. Don't limit yourself to just one experience. Believe me, people of both sexes are very different in many ways. Experiment and you may find someone that will capture your heart and make you truly happy for your life. Life is too short to be saddened by a boy or a man for that matter. There is much more to life. Don't ever sell yourself short to think that one guy is all there is for you. You can be happy. You can find someone that makes you happy. You can find someone that really cares about you. You will find someone that truly loves you. Let this guy go and find yourself.

Answer 8

O-k now I'm 11 and I see your problem. Now he says he doesn't like, like you. But the bad thing is that if (I said"IF") he breaks up with you, thats he's lost not yours. Also bad mouthing him is only kinda going to make it worse, but true it does sound fun! :-D. You can try and make things workout like being extra nice to him and do what he wants, But don't go to far. And if he does move and wants to exange e-mail with you, try e-mailing him sometimes like 3 times a week, Like a penpal or Best friend. But the point is is that if he breaks up with you, He's dumb enough to break up with a great girl. So all I want to say is that he liked you but he may not LOVE you. So it HIS fault if he dosen't like U. :-l

Answer 9

You women love it when guys are jerks. That is why you are still with him. It is in your nature to bend over backwards for guys who treat you like sh*it.

You're completely clueless too. Is your boyfriend a eunuch?

Answer 10

I think all guys are like this at one point. but I really don't know any real answer for that

But one comment... I read this thinking you were at least 18 or older, To find out you can actually spell and act mature... at least on line at the age of 13... maybe you deserve better.