=( Social Anxiety Disorder?

Question

Hi, I am 17, male, from the UK and i have had INTENSE social anxiety most of my life, and it is just killing me and causing unimaginable pain, and depression.

Anyone else with it, that wants to talk? Or does anyone have any solutions? I'm getting very desperate and I want to put an end to this once and for all, before I end up killing myself, although suicide is not an option cos I have so much I have to do this life and I have to figure out life before I die.

I'm not interested in therapy, or drugs such as valium, or prozac, that just hides the problem and does not deal with the cause of the problem, just the affect of it. I think CBT looks like it could be of some help, but I have to come the realization that I need to completly change around my thinking patterns, belief system, and all my preconditioning I have become so abounded by.

Help, anyone? PLEASEEEE!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the replies so far. Most of this stuff I have already considered. The thing is I am too scared to go and get treatment, too scared to go to the doctor about it and too scared to see a therapist. It also makes it harder because of my family. I don't want them to know I have SA, as I will just be ridiculed, and one of main reasons I have SA is because of all the mental, physical and verbal abuse I went through by them. I have considered so many solutions but it seems so hard. I want to become a proffesional guitarist, but everything seems to be going downhill because of my SA and depression. I'm trying to get out of this house ASAP, but I need to save up alot so I can study at berklee college of music. anyway, enough of my rambling. my blog is at www.justblogme.com/dom and if anyone with really intense SA wants to speak then feel free, because i think its good that i can relate to people. ppl say, "oh, you're not alone", but that's not true, I'm always alone.

Thanks for the comment, I appreciate your help. First I just want to say It is my fault. Anxiety is a choice. It is created as a means to protect oneself, but my thoughts are irrational and unreasonable because of certain deep rooted beliefs I hold. Yes you are right, it is a chemical imbalance, but what creates that chemical imbalance is the beliefs and thoughts...because IT IS all in the mind. I want to get meds, and I probably will, but not now, not while im around my family. Meds will just mask the problem (for most people), they don't get rid of the problem, they deal with an effect of and a circumstance of the problem - the chemical imbalance. So most people take the effect of the problem to be the actual problem, and just stay on meds their whole life because they never examine their fears, but i will examine mine, so i want to be on meds while still working on the prob. and about the family thing...there is no way i could let them find out i have SA, they are horrible ppl

Answer 1

I know u said u don't want to take meds, but let me explain something about the proper meds.
With your apparent history, you say you have always had social anxiety so that means that you probably have had few positive experiences in social situations. We learn to be confident by reinforcement of good social interactions. The meds will change your brain chemistry enough to where you will feel a lot more normal and therefore do some interacting socially where you will have positive outcomes and therefore will feel more confident in the next situation, and so on. sometimes and in some thoughts on therapy its not so important to know what made you that way, its focusing on your actions and changing them to get more positive outcomes. So this is how meds can help, doesn't mean you have to take them the rest of your life. Please speak with a psychiatrist or psychologist they can offer the right kind of help.
You are only 17, don't feel as if your doomed to be this way all of your life. Sure you might have a shy nature but you can still be confident and very productive. Good luck.

Answer 2

I have the same condition that you have and it was like reading about myself looking at your question. First let me stress GET HELP from a DOCTOR. I had all of the same reasons for not wanting to get the right kind of help: IE ,afraid of what people and family would think about me or how about this one: Its all in your head or I should be able to just be able to fix it myself. Guess what it doesn't work. what you are going through is cause by a chemical imbalance nothing more. it has nothing to do with any of the crazy things that run around in your head. Its not your fault,
And yes I take a low dose antidepressant no side effects for me just a clearer mind and a much improved view on life. I wish I had done it sooner because I could have foregone all of the misery I put myself through "Trying To Fix Myself" Please just get the help you need before it gets to bad.
Now I have a queasation for you what do you think the "cause" of the problem could be for you? there are no magic bullets for treatment it takes time and as far as pills go there are so many new ones now that Valium and Prozac are almost like compareing the wright brothers plane to a F22 fighter. And yes you may need to work on your thought patterns and all of that stuff but get help to do it first. It almost sounds like your trying to wipe your bum before you spend a penny.
Just give treatment a shot even if it means taking a pill or talking to someone . I'll be around the site if you want to talk somemore.

Answer 3

Anxiety disorders are caused by a chemical imbalance in the body. There are medications that TREAT THE IMBALANCE and bring your body chemistry back into the normal range. If this is as severe an anxiety as you say, you need medication to give your body a chance to correct itself. This is not a mind game. Of course there are therapies that could help, such as behavioral modification and counselling but that is not going to eradicate it. It has to be a multipronged approach. Just as you wouldn't say to a diabetic who is on insulin to quit taking it and just try to change his/her thinking patterns, belief system, and preconditioning to treat the disorder, so also you don't tell an anxiety disorder patient to "pull yourself up by your bootstraps". YOU CANNOT PULL YOUR SELF OUT OF THIS BY YOURSELF! You need help and you need to get some professional advice. Don't tell your family if you don't want to. They don't need to know a thing about your asking for professional help. Why live your life feeling the way you do when you could live a normal, happy and fulfilling life with the right help and the right meds. I get so frustrated that people still don't see mental problems as chemical imbalances just like physical problems. That is such an archaic way to see mental problems. Seek out the website for NAMI. It's a good one.

Answer 4

dude your on the same road as me :) Ive put up with it for all my life, i was pretty much born with it. Horrible feeling!! i can say social anxiety is the worse their is as social life is basically life isnt it lol ans its gotta be put to the max i got prescriptions, didnt really help me, helped me a bit but like.. .it was still their, the thing is it isnt really to do with mental health even your doctor may say otherwise, from my experience its just the way your life has been constucted or maybe you were just born with it. But i know the feeling, i can really understand. Sometimes, if the medicine doesnt work, then just say to yourself, "am i gonna let this stupid disorder control what and cannot do and experience" its just a deal with it thing :( :( sometimes it can be linked to the past! i have a friend who actually completely got rid of it. I would strongly recommend you get a prescription, and do as your doctor ses, as my social anxiety was very severe. Depending on yours, ask yourself "Is this affecting my life" "Am i coping" If you have a "no" then i would go and see the doctor, the pills can really settle it for a while. :) I learned to cope with it as i eventually found the pills didnt work and i completely just ignored it and concentrated on something else, its hard but you learn from experience, And yeh, if you want my opinion, the medicine just like helps you chill, it lasts quite a while and you can concentate on what people are saying, the medicine is a good start, and will help you as your talking to people and learning to cope while the disorder is knocked out. But its not a cure :( you have to learn, how did this start, why, and find out what is causing it and eventually you will naturally learn to tackle it. Life is short Dont let this stupid, pointless disorder bring your lifes potential down Best of luck ^_^

Answer 5

I understand the no drugs thing, because I didn't want to either, but I can't tell you how much the anti-anxiety drugs helped me. When I was taking Xanax it was like a huge weight had been lifted from my body. To be able to have a convo with a stranger without thinking about what I was saying and worrying I looked stupid, panicking and losing my train of thought...after going throu grade after grade in school panicking I would get called on and have to speak...
Please at least try therapy. And keep in mind when used properly drugs CAN be your friend. Good luck!

Answer 6

Hey I have social anxiety too! In fact, I've had it my entire life. What I find helps me cope whenever I feel sad/depressed, I think about how my life ending prematurely would affect others. I also think that I haven't seen all that I've want to see, done all I've want to do . Also, I firmly believe in holding an optimists view on life. This improves my quality of life drastically!

I too am 17, and I constantly think about the environment a college campus will have. It will force me to immerse myself in the college community and with it, I hope to conquer my intense shyness!!!

I have existed this far in life with no medication whatsoever and hope to continue living that way.

Answer 7

Therapy is what you make of it. Your questions and desire for help on THIS website could easily be redirected to a professional who has trained to help YOU in this sort of trouble.

Talk to a professional doctor about it. Relying on strangers over the internet is NOT a good idea.

Ultimately, you have to find the answers yourself. Professionals can guide you easier. I know this as I suffer from social anxiety also - I just had an attack last night and it really depresses me and pisses me off that it happens....

Answer 8

Try some self hypnosis tapes, they can work wonders. You listen to them as you go to sleep at night, or whenever you can be alone.
http://thepotentialsunlimited.com/

I have used the stress and anxiety one for 15 years, it has helped me a lot when I feel things are out of control. You might also want to try the one for Fear of Crowds or the one for Depression.
These will address the preconditioning and thinking patterns.
Best Wishes.

Answer 9

I used to have some sort of social anxiety disorder. I just kind of overcame it over time. I guess the great thing that helped was a change of perspective. I just came to the realization that you miss out on a lot in life if you spend your time in social situations too scared to talk.

Answer 10

I have social anxiety, and i do not take medication because it makes me to scatter brained. For me, I just get up in the morning and do things, whether I want to or not. Talk to people even if it is just about the weather. You can deal with this on your own, but the medications can help get you started, you don't have to take them for the rest of your life.