Google it. My wife's sister's family go to Maranatha Church, where at most of these churches, they have a bible college to become such a preacher. My wife's sister's family are loving people, not judgmental, and are good examples to people. Best of luck to you.
Please take a few min. to patiently read this.
We should learn, then practice not judging, criticizing, or condemn others, and then practice loving others unconditionally, without being attached to them.
“We should not judge, criticize, or condemn others, so that we ourselves will not be judged, criticized, and condemned. For just as we judge, criticize, and condemn others, so too we shall be judged, criticized and condemned by others, and in accordance with the measure we use to deal out to judgment to others, it will be dealt out to us. Why do we stare at the very small speck that is in another’s eye but we are not mindfully aware of and consider the beam of timber that is our own eye ? And how can we say to a person,
“Let me take the very small speck out of your eye, when there is a beam of timber in our own eye ?” We are actors/actresses, {hypocrites, pretenders}, First, we should get the beam of timber out of our own eye, and then we can see clearly to help take the very small speck out of another person’s eye.” [Words spoken by Jesus, Mary & Joseph’s son,
In Matthew 7:1-5 & Luke 6:41-42 – in the Amplified Bible]. Wise words to live by.
In my opinion, once we have done this {above info), we are able to help those “who ask for our help, those who wish us to assist them to transform their minds & lives toward peace of mind, and true happiness, otherwise, if we do not wait for them to ask for our assistance, we fall into self-righteousness. Loving others, edifies/builds them up, self-righteous pride and arrogance, tears a person down. Humility thinks more highly of others, than oneself. Please take a few minutes to read some of the words of Thubten Chodron, on what unconditional Love is = on how we love others unconditionally, without being attached to them. Thank you very much, and Have a great, peaceful Life.
She (Thubten Chodron) writes, “What in the world is the difference between loving a person, and being attached to them ? Love is the sincere aspiration, wish, hope, (aim) for others to be happy [we’ll say hope/aspiration] for others to be happy, and free from suffering. Having realistically realized other’s kindness, as well as their faults, Love is Always focused on the other person’s welfare. We have no ulterior intensions or motives to fulfill our own self-interests; or to fulfill our own desires, we love others, all people, simply because they exist. Attachment, on the other hand, exaggerates others’ good qualities, and makes us crave to be with them. When we’re with them, we are happy, but when we’re separated from them, we’re miserable. Attachments are always linked with expectations of what others should be, or what they should do for us. Is love, as it is understood in most societies, really love or attachment ? Let us examine this a little more. Generally speaking, we are attracted {drawn to) people because they have qualities we value, or because they help us in some way. If we carefully & mindfully observe, through introspection, our own thought processes we’ll notice that we very often look for specific qualities in others. Some of these qualities we are drawn to, finding them attractive, others are qualities within our parents, or qualities which society values.
We examine someone’s looks, education, social status, financial status, and so forth. This is how Most of decide on whether or not the person holds any true value to us, or not. In addition, we judge people as worthwhile according to how they relate to us. If they praise us, encourage us, help us, if they listen to what we have to say, if they make us feel secure, if they take care of us when were sick, unhappy or depressed, we consider them good, or sometimes righteous people, and these are the people we more drawn to, whom we are most likely attracted to, and the people we choose to be around with.
In all honesty, this is very biased, for we are judging them, only in terms of how they relate to us, as if we are the most important person in the world & thinking the world revolves around us! After we’ve judged certain people to be good for us, whenever we see them, it appears to us as if goodness is radiating out from within them, but as we are more mindfully aware, we realize that we have projected this goodness on to them.
Desiring to be the people who make us feel good, we become emotional yo-yo’s, when we’re with these people, we’re up, but when we’re not with them, we’re down. Furthermore, we form fixed concepts of what our relationships with these people will be, and thus have expectations of them. When they do not live up to our expectations of them, we’re unhappy, disappointed or may even become angry. We want them to change so that they will match what we think they are. But our projections and expectations come from our own minds, not from other people. Our problems arise not because others aren’t who we thought they were, but because we mistakenly thought they were something they were not. We often use a type of Checklist also. Checklist: “I Love You IF ___________ !” This Love is conditional And what we call love, if most often attachment. It is actually an attitude which overestimates the qualities of another person.
Then we cling tightly to that person, thinking our peace and happiness depends on that person. We even often blame that person for our unhappiness. Love, on the other hand, is a very patient, calm, relaxed attitude. We want others to be free from suffering and to be happy simply because they exist. While attachment are uncontrolled, and much too emotionally sentimental, Love is Patient, powerful, and controlled(disciplined). Attachment obscures our judgment {our ability to make sound, wise decisions), and we become impatient, angry, and impartial – helping our dear ones, and those who do us no harm. Love clarifies our mind, & we access a situation by thinking of the greatest good for everyone. Attachment is based on selfishness, while love is founded on valuing, & cherishing others, even those who do not look very appealing to us. Love always looks beyond all the superficial appearances and dwells on the fact that they are just like us: they want peace of mind, happiness, and wish to avoid suffering. If we see unattractive, ignorant people we most often feel repulsed, because our selfish minds want to find attractive, intelligent, and talented people. On the other hand, Love never evaluates others by theses superficial standards and looks much deeper into the person. Love recognizes that regardless of the others appearances, they’re experiences are they same as ours: they seek inner mental peace, seek happiness, and wish to be from suffering. When we’re attached, we’re not mentally, emotionally, & spiritually free. For we overly depend on, and cling to another person, to fulfill our emotional, mental, and spiritual needs. We fear losing the person, fearing that we’d be incomplete without them. This does Not mean that we should suppress all our emotional needs, or become aloof, and totally independent, for that too would not solve the problem. We must simply realize our unrealistic needs and slowly, gently and patiently – seek to eliminate them. If we try to suppress them, pretending they do not exist, we become insecure, anxious, or possibly depressed. In this case, we do our best to fulfill our needs, while simultaneously working gradually to subdue them. The core problem is that most of us seek to be loved, rather than to love. We yearn to be understood by others, rather than to understand them. Our sense of emotional insecurities comes from the selfishness obscuring our own minds. This is why it’s important that we renew, and transform our minds. We can develop confidence by recognizing our inner potential to become a Selfless human being, having many magnificent qualities, then we’ll develop and have an accurate perception of ourselves, gaining self-confidence. We’ll seek to increase true unconditional love, to increase compassion, to cultivate patience and insight, as well as generosity, right concentration and wisdom. Under the influence of attachment, we’re bound by our unstable emotional reactions to others. When they’re nice to us, we’re happy, but when they ignore us or speak sharply to us, we take it personally, and are unhappy. But pacifying attachment doesn’t mean we become hard-hearted, rather without attachments, there will be space in our hearts and minds for genuine affection and impartial love for them. And as a result, we’ll be more actively involved with them. As we learn to transform our minds & lives, through subduing our attachments, we can definitely have successful friendships, and personal relationships with others. These relationships will be richer, more meaningful because of the freedom and respect the relationships are based on. We’ll really care about the happiness and misery of all human beings equally, simply because everyone is the same inside: we all want inner peace of mind, Happiness, and to be from suffering.
However, of course, our lifestyles and interests may be a bit more compatible with some people. Our friendships and our personal relationships will be based on mutual interests, and to help other people. With an open mind, we’ll be much more patient, and tolerant toward others;will remain mentally calm, having mental peace, to successfully interact with others.
Sources: Jesus, the son of Joseph & Mary in the bible, and the part on Loving other's Unconditionally without false attachments is by Thubten Chodron. Thanks for reading all this !!
P.S. - IF you choose to go into Yahoo Answer
Religion/Spiritual Section frequently,
be willing to forgive people readily,
many are cruel to others, mainly
because they are suffering inside.
All of humanity is suffering, and Wish
to avoid suffering at all cost, and desire
Most to find Peace of Mind, and
Happiness. Seeking Peace of Mind, &
Happiness, and Finding Purpose for
Life is the objective of all human beings
Many do this in different ways, trying
to find the peace of mind, and the
Happiness they so long for. You are
a Very Optimistic Person, who I
believe is greatly help many people
in your lifetime. You have all the
power, all the abilities already in you
to become anything you wish to be.
Keep a Humbly Teachable attitude
throughout your Life, and you will
greatly help mankind, and serve God
well.
2007-02-08 10:25:34
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answer #8
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answered by Thomas 6
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