i feel guilty, should I?

Question

i am a stay at home mom of three wonderful kids and i love the fact that i get to stay at home with them and be the one to raise them but a part of me wishes i was out there doing something, but we live in a small town where nothing is open at nights and there is nothing around here that would pay for the kids sitter...i have three kids, all not in school yet...i also never get out becuase im usually too tired or mainly because we cant afford it...i get very irritable because i never get a break and im always so tired and never seem to have any energy to do things with the kids...is there anyone out there that is going through this too? i feel guilty because i have the best job in the world right now but i want something that doesnt deal with my kids, should i feel this way?

Answer 1

I know exactly how you feel. I too am a stay at home mom with two and one on the way. Not that long ago I felt like i was ready to get out in the world and do something with my life for myself then I found out I was pregnant. I still want to do something for myself,but it will have to wait.For Now I am very happy being home with my kids,but wish I had more energy. I would suggest having your husband or someone watch the kids for awhile,and give you a break. You know everyone gets a break from there kids,but us at home moms.It's not like we don't love them,and love to be with them,but we all just need time to ourselves every once in a while. Also you don't have to get a job now,but try thinking about what you want to do later on in life,maybe go back to school. I know how it feels with the whole daycare situation,so you can always take night classes,and study to become a teacher or teachers aid.That way when your kids get older,you can spend the summer with them,and after school. I hope this helps,and remember your not alone. Really and truly we should be grateful for being able to stay home and raise our kids,because it is the best job in the world,but just make sure to get your breaks in there as well. Even if its a hour bath ALONE every night !! God bless!!!!

Answer 2

Being a mommy is a wonderful job, but, just like any other job out there, you need a break! I am a teacher and a mom; I have to take breaks and go away for a couple of hours, or I will go completely nuts!

I used to stay at home with my kids, too, and, trust me, I have been in your shoes. Don't feel guilty! Ask your husband to care for the children for the evening so that you can take a walk or go window shopping. Also, if you have a YMCA somewhere near you (I know you live in a small town, but there might be one in a neighboring city), the cost of membership is not too high. You could talk to your husband and get one evening per week that you can go to the Y by yourself to do aerobics (major stress releaser). Sometimes the Y and other gyms have free child care.

Also, some churches have "parents day out" programs where you can take your children once a month or once a week so that you can have a nice long bubble bath and do some things you enjoy. Ask around...you might find something in a neighboring community that will help you get the much-needed break you deserve!

Answer 3

Don't feel guilty. Everyone deserves a break now & again. I live in the city but am in a similar situation as you, in that everything is so expensive or I am just to dang tired. The cool thing is for mom's like us is that when we do get to cut loose and let our hair down we really appreciate it, and enjoy ourselves, because those moments a few & far between. Just try not to let your desires effect your relationship with your kids; don't resent them as the reason you are not able to do those things! Be proud that you are fortunate enough to have a supportive spouse, that also recognizes the importance of you raising your children, that is its own blessing. I struggled with everything you have said, like I said try to not feel guilty, it's normal to feel that way, but also remember how lucky you are! That is what I found helps, try to look at what you do have, maybe even things you never noticed before and appreciate them instead of always letting yourself down about wants that at this point are not an option. Be strong & talk to your spouse, maybe he can help you to have some of what you feel is missing! If you ever want to chat just shoot me an e-mail!

Answer 4

It sounds like a case of the winter blahs. We have them at our house, too. It's just too cold and miserable outside to even ATTEMPT to go do anything. By the time I get the car warmed up, and the blankets and coats and hats and gloves, and find something indoors to do, and get us there in one piece, over snowy roads and everything else, I'm too exhausted to enjoy whatever it is we were going to do!

Cheer up, Spring is just around the corner, and then there will be plenty of things to do with your kids that will get you out of the house and out of this funk. Parks are free. So are walks around the neighborhood, bike rides, yard sales (well, mostly free), etc. It won't be long before Cabin Fever is just an unpleasant memory.

See if you can find another mom to trade babysitting with, so that you can go out once in a while and be YOU, rather than Mom, for a couple hours. Or maybe you have a relative nearby who can take the kids for a bit so you can relax? Where's their dad? He could give you an evening out. I find that just going to the bookstore and browsing with a good cup of coffee in my hands for an hour or so is fortifying. A manicure is also a good treat. Just because you're staying at home, doesn't mean that you have to literally stay home!

I hope you find something to refresh your spirits. Hang in there. Like I said, 6 or 8 more weeks until Spring!

Answer 5

don't feel quilty i feel the same way sometimes like i want to bash my head in the wall if i have to listen to another episode of sponge bob so it's normal maybe when your hubby gets home you could take a quick walk or just go into a part of the house and hide form the kids for a half hour or so it's what i do some days it helps others it doesn't but i won't put my kids in daycare where i live because the ratio is 12 to one for two year olds and i think thats nuts good luck if all else fails just rember that there are other mom's who also feel that same way

Answer 6

have your husband watch the kids when you do the grocery shopping. Seriously you will enjoy the break and you get to shop (even if its only groceries). Another great idea, if you live in a safe neighborhood go for a 20-30 minute walk every evening when your man gets home. Its better to take a few minutes everyday for yourself and re-charge with some me-time then to burn out and be psycho mom LOL. Seriously dont feel bad for taking 30 minutes a day for YOURSELF!

Answer 7

I don't think you should feel guilty.

From what you stated you sound like an excellent mother.

Try going for a walk. Simple, gets you out of the house, and its free. Ask a trusted neighbor or husband to watch the kids for a little while. Spend some alone time with yourself. You deserve it!

Answer 8

I stayed home with my child until he was 11.His father died so I had to go to work.I would take staying home any day over work. When I use to stay home with him I would complain because all I talk to were kids.So I was starting to talk baby talk when I did run across an adult.As I got older I found out that the grass always seems greener on the other side.But it's not.Good luck

Answer 9

I am actually feeling the same way myself. I am staying at home with our two sons, I know what ya mean about needing the time to yourself just a little break like a trip to the store alone or something. I know what ya mean about feeling guilty about feeling this way. To answer your question I dont think we should

Answer 10

Taking care of children is exhausting! And you probably need a brake! Give your self some free time away from the kids and you'll feel much better! You shouldn't feel guilty because your probably not the only one!