okay . so my mom is an alcoholic && my dad is talking about divorce ! my brother && my uncle are leaving for iraq . the doctors say my grandma will pass away soon . my best friend has skin cancer. i have so much stress in my life right now . im just so confussed !
i dont know what to do about anything . if my dad leaves my mom i dont know what i will do . i mean her drinking will only get worse ! my mom stopped drinking for awhile but now she is drinking again . && it is even worse then before . she wont listen to anyone about her drinking either . i want to say something to her but i just cant . i dont know what to say .
my brother && my uncle are leaving for iraq . woah . i found out my brother was going the marines not to long ago . he told me just as we began to get really close
i dont know im just so confussed ! i need every advice possible . like i dont mean to sound dramatic about this stuff ; im just so lost && so confussed
thank you for your help && your time
2007-02-08 10:14:48 · 17 answers · asked by mommiesangel91 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
God keep you in his care and your family, too.
I would definitely see a counselor for this. This is a lot of heavy situation you are going through.
2007-02-08 10:19:46 · answer #1 · answered by Born Valentine's Day 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can do is keep yourself from being forced into the drama of it all. Create ways to find time for you and to evaluate where you see yourself in all this. If I were you I would talk to your mom and let her know that if she is unable to stop her drinking and you dad files for divorce, you will leave to live with your dad. This may give her a wake up call. Everyone wants to leave? Maybe I should stop drinking?
That most likely will not happen. The only reason people quite drinking is because it is their choice to. You can not change the action of others, you can only change to way you react to there action. So. do what is best for you and stay out of it all. Once choice are made, then you find which place is the most stable environment for you. Sounds like that is good ole dad. Sorry about your friend, but the good news is skin cancer is most always curable, and even though your grand parent is going to die, they must be somewhat old and think of what a wonder full life they have had. Things in life change and that is what makes it a life. I hope you see this as a guide that you have choices and you have responsibilities to yourself first.
Sincerely,
Tracylyn S
2007-02-08 10:26:46 · answer #2 · answered by Tracylyn S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am guessing that you are legally a minor. If so, and you don't want to stay with your mother, what are the possibilities of going with your father. If that is not possible, do you have another relative you can stay with? If not, talk with the school counselor or perhaps a pastor and perhaps you can be placed in a foster home. If none of these options please you, you have no other choices. Remember one thing: you can't change your mother; you can;t make her stop drinking. Good luck and remember you can be better than your parents. You do not have to resort to alcohol or any other drugs. Show the world you can not only survive but rise above your beginnings.
2007-02-16 06:13:52 · answer #3 · answered by Marilyn S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you move with your dad? That sounds like the best person to live with at this point and time. Do you have a choice?
As far as your brother and uncle all you can do is wish them your best. Hope and pray they make it back OK. Is there a counselor or someone you can talk to. It sounds like you have a lot on your shoulders for a young person. Talk to your dad and maybe he can help clear up some questions for you. Good luck honey. Pray about this and the good Lord will help also.
God Bless.
2007-02-08 10:23:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start with Alanon! The best place to go not only for the drinking but will help you cope with other issues in your life.
Don't be stressed over the Iraq thing. BE PROUD! I'm sure they may be stressed enough for everyone.
You can't control what others do and the sooner you learn this the more free you will feel.
Alanon! It a wonderful thing.
2007-02-16 06:41:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there mommie is an,
I am a recovered alcoholic and also have two children..My oldest is 22 this month and my youngest will be 14 in May..
The reason that I wanted to reply to you is because I too like your Mother did not want to listen to no one...After all, what did they know..
When my oldest was 12, and he had it with that life style, and who could blame him. I was brought up by alcoholic family, so t me this was a normal way of life... What my dear SON did for me was called for help, he did it for himself too, but in the process he saved my life.. I did not realize it at the time.. What it comes down to is when a parent can no longer give their children encouragement, love, support, understanding and so on, there comes a time where the child needs to do whatever it takes to protect himself from going down too...
I realize this is not easy, but it can also be done confidentially.. At first you will feel as if you betrayed your Mother, but it is on the contrary, you are actually loving her enough to show her what needs to be done to take care of each other... Meanwhile be there for her, this will also be important... This is a disease that can be controlled with a lot of focus on the positive and not the negative..
Hope that it helps you, either way wish you all the best...Also check under Al-Ateen programs in your area, they can be very helpful in getting a better understanding... I too, just lost my Mother Nov.,2006, my daughters dad ( my Ex) had Four heart attacks in July, 06, then my daughter was being brain washed by him, so I had to let her stay with my sister Dec.,15, 06 to protect her from falling threw the cracks, so I do understand your confusion and frustration... And it seems as if those who you thought were good for you just seem to want a piece of you too...
No one can really take care of you like U can...We can't change other people, but we can always change ourselves by learning, making choices and so on>>> Good luck to you, bud.
Katt
2007-02-15 23:53:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to help your mom is to get help. Alcoholism is a serious problem that effects EVERYONE. You, your dad, your brother and anyone else that loves her. I would suggest calling Al-Anon. Just ask them what they think would help. It was founded by a lady that was seriously effected by her husbands (the founder of AA) alcoholism and saw how badly it effected others. It's not like turning her in or anything.They are great for someone to talk to though because they really really understand.
As for the rest...I pray that you find a friend to help you through. Pray for everyone and pray for peace in your life.
2007-02-16 09:16:17 · answer #7 · answered by kikigeorgie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I strongly suggest finding a counselor to talk to about your problems. Unfortunately, you have no control over your parents. They are adults and will make their choices. Having someone to talk to during this time can help you work through these hard times. Try talking to your mother as well. Be supportive and state your concerns about her drinking in a way that shows concern for her health and safety. She may not listen but she may surprise you. I wish all the best for you.
2007-02-08 10:21:40 · answer #8 · answered by fly guy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow that is alot. i'm sorry you're havin a hard time. the only thing u can do is express your feelings to both your parents and hope they will understand. u also need to understand that the problems your parents are having are NOT your fault. do the best u can to continue to work hard in school and get good grades so that u can make sure your future is more stable than your present. wish i could be more helpful. i wish u all the best, keep your head up.
2007-02-08 10:26:25 · answer #9 · answered by feetal2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, there is not a lot you can do for your mother. She has to admit to having a problem before she can recover. The best thing you can do for her is to tell her how much love and care for her, and let her know how you feel. Also, you can find an AL-anon program in your city. These programs can be very helpful and supportive. Good luck
2007-02-16 05:57:31 · answer #10 · answered by boxadorboxador 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find prayer works and know that you can't control everything and you can't let everything control you. Know that in life nothing stays the same and change is always difficult whether it is for better or worse, we have no control. I know it doesn't seem fair that you should have all of this on your plate, but God never gives us more than we can handle, hold on, a better day will come and patience is the key, don't fight the inevitable. God Bless.
2007-02-13 22:02:32 · answer #11 · answered by Bethy4 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋