My boyfriend is a great guy. He's nice, caring, funny, cute, and he's as close as you can get to perfect. Except today I figured out something kinda shocking. We've been going out for two weeks and I figured out he smokes. I really don't like that, and I don't know how to confront him about it, and really am too nervous to say something. HELP ME PLZ!
2007-02-08 09:52:01 · 19 answers · asked by Chelsea 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, if he was trying to hide it from you then obviously hes not all that perfect. I dont like smoking, and am not into those that are. But I would not consider it an issue to completly break up on. From what you said, I am quessing your not ok with it so...Talk to him and see if he even wants to quit, because alot of adcicted people just need someone to be there and help encourage them quiting. And you just need to stand up and confront him, dont have to be rude about. Maybe you should even try and relate it to something in your life to make it more comfortable for the both of you.
2007-02-08 09:59:20 · answer #1 · answered by azº 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh good lord. YOu have only been going out for two weeks, its still a new relationship. Does he only smoke when he goes out or all the time? If he only does it when he is out then it should be cool due to the fact a thousand or more people only smoke at work or out on social events. If he smokes all the time then talk to him about it. Share how you feel about smoking. As long as he doesnt do it around you. I dont think you should have a problem with it. If you two decide to get serious about your relationship far down the road, then be more persistant with it.
2007-02-08 09:59:24 · answer #2 · answered by Mindy A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You better tell him now since its only been 2 weeks. If you don't he will think you accept him as a smoker. Smoking is obviously a dealbreaker for you. Tell him and he can either quit you or quit smoking. No one is perfect. Even if he quit he wouldn't be perfect but you hate smoking.
2007-02-08 09:57:52 · answer #3 · answered by psi2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Establish your boundries now. If you don't like smoke, let him know. If its really a big issue, leave him alone. You have a right to have preferences. And you prefer not to get cancer from Second Hand smoke. Don't be nervous to say anything about anything that affects you and your health. I could see this not being an issue if his smoke only affected him...But it affects you to. WOMAN UP!!
2007-02-08 09:56:38 · answer #4 · answered by Jaime 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every one has their bad habits. Confronting him about it will only drive you apart. If it took you two weeks to find out, then he was trying to be polite and not smoke around you. He will only quit when and if he is ready. If you want to be with him still, then be supportive. Tell him that when he is ready to quit, you will be there to support him.
2007-02-08 09:58:36 · answer #5 · answered by fly guy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your health so say something. If you think he would be willing to quit then tell him that you would like it if he stopped. Refuse to kiss him if he smells like cigarettes. For me it would be a deal breaker if I met a woman and then found out she smoked. I would be more than willing to support her if she wanted to quit (and actually tired), but I wouldn't be with a smoker.
2007-02-08 09:57:37 · answer #6 · answered by Justin H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This can be a tough thing. if u really lik him, u should bring it up, and then if u find that he can't stop try to put past the fact that he smokes, if u really liik this guy u can get past the fact that he smokes.
2007-02-08 09:56:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
how would you possibly 'confront' him? saying something like, "I don't want you smoking anymore"? you've only been together two weeks, and he's unlikely to kick smoking to the curb for you. sorry, but if you really like him you're just gonna have to tolerate it. if it bothers you a lot [which I'm assuming it doesn't, considering you just described it as 'kinda shocking'], then duh. let 'im go.
2007-02-08 10:13:16 · answer #8 · answered by Isabella Gloria 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might ask him.. how long have you been smoking? don't do it judging him.. he might be doing it because everyone else is.. or he might be doing it cause he wants to.. If he wants to.. he will not stop for you. If it is important to you.. you might rething knowing well. He might have other things hidden. You usually date quite a while before people start showing their true selves. If he is doing it cause others do.. he might stop if he wants to keep dating you. He deserves to know how you feel.
good luck.....
2007-02-08 09:58:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happened to my friend's parents. She found out he smoked and told him to stop or she wouldn't go out with him... guess what? He stopped and they are still together today.
2007-02-08 09:56:59 · answer #10 · answered by J87 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋