We have been dating for 7 years and he doesn't want to make a real commitment, but expects me to only date him. I love him in some ways.. Am I to only date him or can I feel free to meet others as well? Or is that cheating?
2007-02-08 09:37:05 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
7 years is a great commitment by both of you. That is a "real" commitment. So are wanting to know if he is going to marry you?
I think there are signs here worthy of you looking at your relationship. You love him in "some ways." If you were to commit to him, shouldn't you love him unconditionally and he the same way to you?
I hate to say this because I am one of them, but some men just don't know what they have until it is gone. You should take a look at your situation and decided if what you have makes you happy? Will it make you happy for the rest of your life or do you need more? Once you know this, you'll know if you should take a break from dating your boyfriend and start to look elsewhere. I believe if he is in love with you, given some time he'll realize how serious this is and really want to commit to you.
Good luck!
2007-02-08 09:44:18 · answer #1 · answered by MYSTICHROME 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You guys have been together for 7 years and you "love him in some ways"? Sounds like you should just go ahead and cut him loose. If you both see other people and end up back together, then maybe it's worth another shot. But he's not ready and you might not be either if your feelings are only luke warm.
2007-02-08 09:41:42 · answer #2 · answered by Leah~Ariana is due Oct. 09~ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Loss,
There are so many things about your situation that trouble me.
First, it is triangular in nature and this always leads to problems. What does this friend have to do with this relationship? At the very least, it is none of their business.
Second, why are you so unsure of yourself that you even listen to a third person?
Third, if someone continually causes us pain and grief, this is obviously not going to make you happy.
Fourth, why run after someone who is this ambivalent about wanting a commitment.
It is one thing to call someone a commitment phobic individual. It is another thing to keep hoping that things will be different. I wonder why you feel he will change? Is he in therapy? Is he working towards dealing with whatever issues made him so fearful in the first place? Probably not!
So this begs the question about your own sense of self-worth.
Ask yourself:
1) Do I really really want a relationship? If so, why be with someone who doesn't?
2) If I really have confidence in myself, why am I with someone why I have to try to convince to be with me?
3) Does my own family background support healthy and loving relationships?
4) Does his?
2007-02-08 09:41:50 · answer #3 · answered by im_suuweeet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's only cheating if there is a real committment..
test the waters and see how pissed he gets..
if you stray he may be willing to commit, but that's a chincy way to beat a committment out of a boy, but if you have to resort to that just to find out what it will take to get him to commit, he's probably not worth it as you seem ready to settle your life...
The reality is, if you guys do not "know" yet that you are right for each other after 7 years..it's probably time to cut rope and move on..
2007-02-08 09:43:56 · answer #4 · answered by m34tba11 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been dating for 7 years and he still won't make a commitment. No matter how hard this is, break up with him. That's ridiculous.
2007-02-08 09:41:14 · answer #5 · answered by LoSTcaUsE326 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are only "dating" you can see other people. 7 years and no commitment? sounds odd and made up
2007-02-08 09:40:00 · answer #6 · answered by julie_mchottits 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's cheating, besides two wrongs don't make a right. Level with him, tell him you want a commitment or else you leave. If he just give you that commitment, LEAVE! Trust me, it will not get better, etc.
2007-02-08 09:40:59 · answer #7 · answered by codenamex_47 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you don't go out on a date or have sex with someone else, it's not cheating
2007-02-08 09:40:44 · answer #8 · answered by airjimmyshoes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
7 years and he doesn't want a commitment?? lose the loser.
2007-02-08 09:39:49 · answer #9 · answered by tinap1203 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump this guy, you are beautiful, sexy and loving and can do a lot better for yourself. Good luck sweetheart.
2007-02-08 09:41:04 · answer #10 · answered by robertk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋