any one got any good ones?
no racist/hatefull ones please
2007-02-08 09:31:31 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Hi there,Caitlin the skeptic.... hope you like this one!
Two blonde girls walk into a department store. They walk up to the perfume counter and pick up a sample bottle. Nancy sprays it on her wrist and smells it, ‘That's quite nice, don't you think, Kathy?’
Kathy takes a sniff and replies, ‘That is nice. What's it called?’
‘Viens a moi,’ replies Nancy.
‘Viens a moi? What the heck does that mean?’
At this stage the assistant offers some help. ‘Viens a moi, ladies, means 'come to me' in French.’
Nancy takes another sniff, then offers her arm to Kathy again, and remarks, ‘That doesn't smell like come to me. Does that smell like come to you?’
:o)
2007-02-08 17:22:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
There were two old people living in a retirement hospital, they were sitting on a park bench and the woman says to the man, "sometimes i just miss being held." The man replies, "ometimes i miss someone else touching my penis." So they make a pact, each day they would meet and he would hold her and she would grab his member. This goes on for a while and one day he doesn't show. Or the day after that, so she goes to look for him and finds him still on a different bench with his arm around another woman, and her hand in his pants. Slighty hurt she walks over to confront him.
She asks, "what does she have that i don't?"
He replies, "Parkinsons."
2007-02-08 18:13:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
a man with a tiny head was walking down the street, "hey" said another man "how come you have such a tiny head".
"Well i found a mermaid once stranded down on the beach and helped her back into the sea so she gave me one wish and i said
"Ok then how about a little head"
2007-02-08 18:21:57 · answer #3 · answered by chris w. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here are 2 jokes!!
1. There was this cuban who went to the doctor to find out how to quit having so many kids.....so he asked the doctor how he could and the doctor said i am going to give you this condom to try...so the cuban takes it home and trys it and comes back to the doctor the next day and says doctor no good.....the doc says what happened? he replies left nut go ahh right nut go ahh condom go boom.... so the doc says here try this extra thick condom. so he take it home and trys it and comes back the next days and says doc no good....doc says what happened, he replies left nut go ahh right nut go ahh condom go boom...so the doc said ok try this insulator so he takes it home and tries it and comes back and says doc no good... doc says it didnt work either?? he replies no left nut go ahhh insulator go ahh RIGHT NUT go boom!!!...lol
2. There was this alien and his friend coming to take over earth and the first thing he saw was a gas pump so he thought it was the dominant species so he went up to it and pointed his gun and says take me to your leader. his friend says i wouldnt do that if i were you... the gas pump doesnt reply, so he points the gun at it and says take me to your leader or i will blow your head off....his friend says i wouldnt do that he is dangerous...the alien with the gun replies no s*it sherlock anyone who can wrap their d*ick around them twice and stick it in their ear is dangerous!!!...lol
2007-02-08 23:02:38 · answer #4 · answered by sexycheerleader2009 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
1)Aladdin finds the lamp and a genie gives him one wish.
He wished for a pen1s that would reach the.floor.
The genie cut his legs off.
2) A young girl on a greyhound bus phones her mom on her cell-phone.."Mom,mom..the man next to me is masturbating!!!"
"Take no notice dear,ignore him".
"I can't...he's using my hand!"
2007-02-08 20:15:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
..... women have shaved their bits in protest of the war, their message to the world is 'read our lips - no more bush'
you did ask for dirty (had to mention the war though sorry)
2007-02-08 17:52:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
little girl is eating a cupcake while her dad is getting a haircut, the barber says "little girl look out, you'll get hair on your twinkie". Little girl responsed " Yhea, i'll get boobies too!"
2007-02-08 18:03:43 · answer #7 · answered by no pepper 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
what's the definition of a perfect man?.........he has a six inch tongueand breaths thru his ears.
2007-02-08 17:36:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
OMG 'little old me', that is fricken hilarious!
2007-02-08 18:37:54 · answer #9 · answered by harry_rips_elle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Me: "say hello to my little friend." (i pulled down my pants and my underwear)
(george bush is shocked and sayed)
George Bush: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! its burns. ok ok ok!!
i sorry about iraq, will you plz wear your pants on agian and you underwear?
(I peed on him and he melted)
THE END
2007-02-08 17:37:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 6⤋