He says he needs space...what does he mean?

Question

I have known "Tony" for almost 2 years. We started dating 2 months ago. I'm on a co-op for 6 months 1500 miles away and he knew I was going on the co-op when he asked me out. He is a full time student. We are exclusive, and before I packed up to go he said he did not want to break up with me, he said he would rather we be together. We are both Christian and our trust for each other is 100% and are very open with each other. We have never had a fight, and we get along great. Yesterday we were supposed to talk on the phone, but he didn't pick up his phone when I called, so an hour later I called back and he answered but he was on his way to soccer. He said he'd call when he was done after 90min he still han't called so I texted him he said was going to Wal-Mart and I replied back asking if I was too needy and asking if I am holding him back, he said "I like you..but i dont do long distance well..i am trying i do just need space tho.." Does he want space or does he want to break up?

Answer 1

You asked the magic question & he answered you. My advice is to let things be for now & give him his space. Don't keep calling/texting him because he'll feel as though you're chasing after him & don't trust him. Use reverse psychology! Being in a long relationship isn't always easy on one or both. He told you how he's feeling, so admire him for that. You two had a great relationship up until you had to put miles between you. Give him credit for being honest with you. Maybe this relationship won't be anything more than just a friendship from now on. Time will tell. Keep yourself focused on your day to day activites & give him the space he has asked for. I always see red flags go up when guys say they need "space." I told a few in the past, that if they needed space, they should have been an astronaut.

BTW: It's normal & healthy for two people to have arguments. It's all a part of the getting to know each other & strengthening a relationship. If you two hold it in, it could be disastrous in the end.

Keep your chin up!

Answer 2

Long distances relationships are very hard. Missed calls, unreturned call just start imaginations going crazy with thoughts.You use are the right words,Christian,trust,open but you've never had a fight? Never? Why? Are both of you tiptoeing around each other afraid to expose you're real feelings?Are you too compliate just to keep him happy. Dating is dating. I don't think it should be "exclusive" because how will you ever know if you've truly found the right one if you haven't looked.

Answer 3

Could mean you have been crowding them. Like it went from zero to 120 in such a short time that they need to get their feet back under them in order to let it grow at a natural pace. If it's a spouse... likely means that they aren't at your beck and call and don't want to have to be in constant contact and report into you several times a day as if they were a child to a parent. Two adults, standing on their own feet while being mutually supportive and trustworthy, fully participatory and mature in how they lead their own lives, can make a much stronger pairing than two adults who are in constant need of each other in order to get through the day.

Answer 4

That's honestly a tough one to judge because you just never know. I would just try to get him on the phone and talk to him. Let him know you want a straight answer about some things. Right then and there you might have to make a decision on your own. Just talk it out because that's really the only thing you can do that far away.

I recently had a similar situation. I just don't do long distance relationships, I just don't. There are too many factors into what goes on and I don't want to be put in those positions. Just talk it out.

Answer 5

Maybe, if you'd just give him a chance to call you back, instead of calling & texting every chance you think he's available, he wouldn't have said that. I wouldn't say you trust him 100%, otherwise, you wouldn't have posted this question. Sometimes, men say exactly what they mean, I don't know why we try to make things harder for ourselves, by trying to read more into it than what is already said!! Give him the chance to call you, because chances are, you probably came across as being too possessive or needy, to him!!

Answer 6

it's either already over, and he just don't know how to tell you so he's hoping you'll just go ahead and dump him. Or, he might just need some time to think about where he's at in his life, and whether or not it's a good time for him to be having a long distance relationship. Get him on the phone and tell him it's time to talk. Tell him where you stand, and tell him to be honest with you , and to tell you where he stands before someone gets hurt. Good luck!

Answer 7

"Tony" has lost interest now because he can't do long distance relationships. you need to read between the lines in the text msg he send you when he said "he doesnt do long distance well and he's 'trying'" means that he doesnt want to hurt your feelings but he can't do it anymore and he doesnt WANT TO do it anymore. and when he says "he needs space" means he wants to talk to you less and things of that matter so that he can try to get u off his mind and move on. i would suggest u try to move on and if u guys are meant for eachother then one day yall will meet again =) and trying to move on will be hard but u should stay friends with him that way you keep in touch

Answer 8

Why not give him all the space he needs...stop calling, change your phone number and don't look back. Don't let because you are both Christian be the reason why you stick around. Pigs are pigs no matter who they choose to worship. In his defense he is telling you exactly what he wants.

Answer 9

well i think you are to needy hun if he doesnt call back then leave him alone if you text him and call him the way you are doing it comes off as to needy which is not fun to deal with
and he may be thinking about ending it but you cant tell right now so stop calling so much and relax men like to chase after what they wont and if you let him chase after you then he will come running
and if he doesnt come running he doesnt want you

Answer 10

hey!
if he doesnt want anything to happen, he is a big boy- i am sure he woul just tell you. maybe he has some things he has to take care of before starting a new relationship- or maybe he is afraid it really wont work out, and he really does need some space, just to think about it for a while.