my kids are at my moms. me and my boyfriend live 45 mins away. they are finishing school (yr) with her while i start a new job and looking for a house to bring them over. I see my kids on the weekends b/c they stay with us. My boyfriend is good to them but has no problem if they are with us or not. They like him but to a certian point. over here theres work and a better life but they don't want to change schools b/c friends, family, ect. What do i do?
2007-02-08 08:10:53 · 11 answers · asked by ☼ utopia ☼ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
After a while you might start missing your kids. Are you sure it's okay with your mom to have the kids stay there? in my opinion families should stay together but you just have to go with whatever your heart is telling you that you should do!:)
2007-02-08 08:17:22 · answer #1 · answered by iluvmyself676 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're a bad person. I DO think that you are probably realizing that you made a good decision at a bad time. I understand that you moved to find work and a better life, but you didn't plan it out very well.
The kids also have to understand the decision you've made, and why you made it. You need to start explaining to them NOW that when the school year's over, they will be moving in with you. 45 minutes away is not that far. Tell them you will take them to see gramma and their friends on the weekends. Make this your main goal and follow through with it. The kids will transition better if they know what to expect.
2007-02-08 16:29:24 · answer #2 · answered by LolaCorolla 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not a bad person, just a bit mixed up--as anyone in your situation would be. It's good that you're starting a new job, and looking for a house. It's also good that you want a better life for them.
You need to remember when they start throwing fits when the school year ends, that YOU are the PARENT. Your decision is final. You are doing everything for their own good, and they won't be too far away from friends and family anyway. Start letting them know all of this now, so the transition is easier. :)
2007-02-08 16:44:15 · answer #3 · answered by Holiday Magic 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you aren't a bad person, but I think that your priorities are messed up. Your boyfriend should have moved and you should have stayed with your children for the duration of the school year, and you should have been seeing him on the weekends not your children. Children should come before any man!!
2007-02-08 16:15:50 · answer #4 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just because they dont want to move doesnt mean they shouldn't move. your boyfriend should know that your kids need to earn their respect first off, when thats accomplished then everything will work itself out with al il help from you of course. children never want to move,but sometimes theres no choice, even at a young age. now aren't they YOUR kids? you seem like a really smart mother who is concerned, i think whatever your instincts tell you should be the correct and best answer.
2007-02-08 16:59:18 · answer #5 · answered by gia m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you are not bad i am thirteen and somthing like that happened to me if there school isnt to far away you can drive them to school every day or you can switch them and have thier friends from the school there at now come over on weekends because they will make new ones but have the old ones.
2007-02-08 16:44:08 · answer #6 · answered by chelsea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you are not a bad person..as long as you know in your heart that you are trying to make better for your family...i hope that your boyfriend isnt controling the fact that your kids are not around..i know we women sometimes want the man so much that we choose them over our kids..i hope this is not the case..always do right BY YOUR KIDS
2007-02-08 16:26:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your not a bad person but like a different response,children come before men.And if you do not start seeing your children a lot more then now when they get older you might not have a good relationship.
2007-02-08 16:45:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you just wait till your kids finish the school year to move i with your boyfriend?
2007-02-08 16:16:23 · answer #9 · answered by annetm2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no your just trying to get everything set up for them. its better for them mabey to move gradually anyway. it will make leaving their friends much easier. While your there, try and make some friends who have children their age, that may make their move even better.
2007-02-08 16:24:10 · answer #10 · answered by eightieschick70 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋