I have been dating/living with my boyfriend for years now. His mother never liked me from the moment we meet. The scary thing is that he is 30 (I am 22) and everyone around me tells me that he isn't going to "grow up at this point" and that I should find someone else. I finally couldn't take it anymore (constantly fighting about his mother) so I moved back in with my parents a month ago. Its hard because we get along in all other aspects, but when it comes to his mother/family everything all goes to h*ll. Help, I don't know what else to do.
2007-02-08 08:05:45 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
what also sucks is that he expects ME to deal with his mother. Since I AM the one with the problem I SHOULD BE THE ONE to talk to HER. And yes that has happened, nothing but yelling wars..I didn't feel that was right..he should be the one to deal with HER not ME, right?
2007-02-08 08:48:38 · update #1
We make decisions based on what we can live with when we have the freedom to do so. It seems to be that you have made a good decision for you. Do not rethink it too much. If this young man wanted you enough to hold you, he would move on from his mother and make a lifelong arrangement with you. Go on with your life, you intelligent girl!!!
2007-02-08 08:13:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK now I know how you must feel. It sucks right?
Well there is a cure but both of you have to be strong and very
determined in what you are getting into!
If he has different thoughts about you, he doesn't want to be long with you, or just being faliour to launch then you need to move on on
bigger and better things. Also you love him soooo much then you fight for it, and make him feel it all as much as you do. All that Mom **** going around you, I mean c'mon seriously you are not having his Mother as a boyfriend, and him being 30 years old, he should just know better by now. So good luck and keep your head up all will sort out just fine!
xoxox
2007-02-08 08:19:15 · answer #2 · answered by Zoe05 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
About an hour before I got married my mother-in-law called me to tell me all the other women she'd rather he marry, including a girl he'd cheated on me with in high school. But I didn't let that stop me. I married him and now I pretty much just pretend she doesn't exist and if she tries to start anything, I make my husband deal with it. Don't give up a man you love because he's got a mean mom. Just make sure he understands that you don't deserve to be treated badly and that he needs to either stand up for you or keep her away from you.
2007-02-08 08:12:36 · answer #3 · answered by Eowyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I "was" married to a momma's boy, if he didn't stand up to her over this situation, then he never will. He is 30 years old, and still tied to her apron strings... it's time for you to move on.
I found that if you find your man talking to his mother more then 3 times a week, your in trouble.
She hates you because he allows it, if he told her how he truly felt and helped your relationship with her along then you'd still be together. He doesn't care, why should you?
2007-02-08 08:24:16 · answer #4 · answered by suicidal_chicky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All mothers think their children deserve better mates. The fact that you weren't married made his mother wonder the kind of person you were--- certainly one who is immature (22) compared to his perfect son. That is not to say that her son bears no faults, sure he does. But you have played a big role in allowing a casual relationship.
He is not gonna to change on your behalf even if you marry the guy.
2007-02-08 08:14:37 · answer #5 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother married the girl that everyone in the family didn't like. My mom was the hardest on her. She had tattoos and children from a former marriage that were in foster care in another state. She wore a wig. She worked at Wendy's...but hey, with all that going for her, what's not to like?
Basically, my brother could have done better and everyone knew it except him.
I need to know Y your BF's mother doesn't like you before I pass judgement on your situation though. Are there improvements to yourself that you can make to make her more amiable?
2007-02-08 08:12:33 · answer #6 · answered by Cameron L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex's mother HATED me...so did his sister. She called me a **** and made up stories just to get him mad at me. I know what you are feeling...but you can't let that come in between you and him. If you love him and he loves you what else matters?...before you wonder why me and my ex broke up, it wasnt because of his mother or any member of his family. Turned out he was just a big cheater.
2007-02-08 08:10:11 · answer #7 · answered by Samantha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really love him it shouldnt matter what other people think! but it would be hard for a mother to let go of her son.. dont feel bad she would probably hate anyone who took her son.. even though its been a few years. just give her a while and she will grow to love you!
2007-02-08 08:11:12 · answer #8 · answered by Katie M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try talking to your boyfriend...maybe he can get something into her. if not then try to butter her up by helping her around the house or buying her gifts and acting thoughtful around her. if it works with your mother then it should work with someone elses mother right? lol good luck!
2007-02-08 08:09:49 · answer #9 · answered by Here I come I am cinnamon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friends are right. He should of put you first and told his mother to back off. Dump him once and for all and find yourself a real man.
2007-02-08 08:12:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋