I need some help!?

Question

My fiance and I are planning to move in together and we have had some objections by a few friends and family. It was a decision made because of convience and financial issues. I am living with my parents and he is living with some friends from church who disagree with us living together but expect him to move out pretty soon. Since neither one of us have money to live alone it kinda seems like the only option. Does anyone have any scriptures that talk about this subject that will help us make a wise and godly decision?

Answer 1

Sorry, scriptures only support damaging things and oppose the harmless things. Like this.

Answer 2

I would honestly wait to move in together. Although if you have already slept together (aka: had sex!) I would say it doesn’t really matter, you have already added that burden to yourself. The reasons I know of for not living together is God has not blessed your union & you have added temptation to have sex, being that you will be there alone, just the two of you with ample opportunity! I can't think of a specific scripture off the top of my head, but I moved out with my now husband before we were married and it did not help our relationship one bit. I feel it slowed our bonding & just threw random speed bumps in along the way.

Can he maybe find a place where you two would eventually live together, say after the marriage? You could still help him pay for it but you wouldn't have to live there until after the wedding. Or perhaps your parents would let him stay in a spare room until you are married.

Honestly, part of marriage is the excitement of living together (& sleeping together) for the first times! Like I said we lived together before, and the wedding was nice but when we got home we had nothing new to look forward to, it was the same old same old. I wish so much that I had known what I know now then, the begging of my marriage wouldn't have lacked excitement!

If you have already had sex I would say go for it, move in, because that is part of the reason you wait to live together, to lessen temptation. If you have not had sex yet & if you can find a way to save money & not live together that would be your best bet & what God wants, if you follow God he will always provide! Don’t let idolatry throw a wrench in your marriage.

Answer 3

The answer to this question depends somewhat on what is meant by “living together.” If it means having sexual relations – it is definitely sinful. Premarital sex is repeatedly condemned in Scripture along with all other forms of sexual immorality (Acts 15:20; Romans 1:29; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13,18; 7:2; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7). The Bible promotes complete abstinence outside of (and before) marriage. Sex before marriage is just as wrong as adultery and other forms of sexual immorality, because they all involve having sex with someone you are not married to.

If "living together" means living in the same house, that is perhaps somewhat of a different issue. Ultimately, there is nothing wrong for a man and a woman to live in the same house – IF there is nothing immoral taking place. However, the problem arises in that there is still the appearance of immorality (1 Thessalonians 5:22; Ephesians 5:3) and it will be a tremendous temptation for immorality. The Bible tells us to flee immorality, not expose ourselves to constant temptations to immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18). Then there is the problem of appearances. A couple that is living together is assumed to be sleeping together – that is just the nature of things. Even though living in the same house is not sinful in and of itself, the appearance of sin is being given. The Bible tells us to avoid the appearance of evil (1 Thessalonians 5:22; Ephesians 5:3), to flee from immorality, and not to cause anyone to stumble or be offended. As a result, it is not honoring to God for a couple to live together before marriage.

God Bless You

Answer 4

If the situation is that a man and woman who are not married to each other and are living together and having sexual relations, that would be sinful. If the unmarried man and woman are living together, are not related, and are not having sexual relations, then other factors come into play. First of all, the Bible says that we are to avoid even the appearance of evil. If their living together stumbles others sufficiently to warrant a different living arrangement, then that should be done.

But, basically, an unmarried man and woman living together, sleeping in the same bed, etc., is wrong and sinful.

1 Cor. 6:18, "Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body."
Eph. 5:3, "But do not let immorality or any impurity or greed even be named among you, as is proper among saints."
Col. 3:5, "Therefore consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry."
1 Thess. 4:2, "For you know what commandments we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. 3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, 5 not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God."

Answer 5

First of all, you guys must love one another to want to move in together, however, do not subject yourselves to the thought of other people because really that's not the way to go. Also if you guys listen to too many opinions it's only going to cause friction between the two of you and confusion and possibly inflict problems in your relationship. Now take a good look at yourself and see what's wrong with you. Ask god what he expects from you through personal prayer. Maybe there are things that you may need to change about yourself before making any moves. Pray and be still. Don't move until you receive an answer. Now you would know that it's an answer from God because the Lord himself would reassure you the it is him. Just organize yourself and your life because the Lord does things in an orderly fashion and manner. So you try to reach that Goal to submit yourself to the Lord in prayer and encourage you fiance to do the same. Honestly anything that is impossible for us is always possible for the Our Lord. Therefore submit yourself to him in prayer. Pray for answers to your concerns and be still pray for peace within yourself and be still, pray for strength through trials and tribulations and be still. Pray for all hearts concern and be still until all our prayers are answered, but everything you do has to be through prayer and submission to the Lord almighty, meanwhile you clean out your life, by being patient and less worrisome.

Answer 6

there aren't scriptures that support "shacking up" as so many refer to it today. your family and his friends are obviously just looking out for the two of you and want to make sure you aren't about to enter into a realtionship that could jeopardize your standing in God's eyes. If you are engaged and no doubt are going to marry, why not just move up the wedding date. this way everyone is happy and you two will also have the comfort of knowing that in God's eyes you are in a pure relationship. none of us are without sin, but it seems like you are just trying to justify what you already know is wrong, but it is you guys life and you both are free, to a certain degree, to make your own choices. if the two of you can handle living together out of wedlock by all means go for it, but you both have to figure out what is more important, saving some money and inconvenience or saving your soul. the choice is for you both to make. if you still are having a hard time deciding pray about it. All the best.

Answer 7

Abstain from all appearance of evil. 1 Thessalonians 5:22
It could appear questionable to someone who sees you living together and not married ...as Christians. Our testimony is often the only bible some people will read. I understand your situation is not an easy one... however I believe if you honor God and make the right choices He will show you a reasonable option.
Blessings...

Answer 8

Does the place you are moving to have two bedrooms? If it does, assure people that you will have separate bedrooms. This may answer some objections. After you are married, you can convert one bedroom into an office.

If you are already having sex, you should stay living in separate places. One of the two bedrooms would likely never be used for sleeping.

Answer 9

1 Thessalonians 4:1-12

Answer 10

i dont have any bible versues. but i do have some pros about why you two should move in together.. what do they expect you two do after you get married if you live in two seperate places... look for a place after you get married.. your not going to want to be away from each other after your married and have to look for a place. so why not do it now. your going to get married any way right... and being where he is living his friends are expecting him to move out why not move in with his soon to be wife that give you two a chance to know each other better on another level. its your relationship not the worlds. you two are the ones getting married not your friends and family. you make the choice

Answer 11

You called him your fiance, meaning you intend to call him husband. I don't know the governing laws where you live, but when the both of you declare to God that you enter into marriage, you are bound and committed in the eyes of the Lord. This can be as elaborate or as simple as you choose, but it must be done in the Holy Spirit. Then how you present your marriage to the governing laws can be determined between the two of you and God.