I am a nanny for a 12 yo with Asperger's. She has a hard time listening, especially when she is watching tv or on the computer. She hears me just fine, but she chooses to not answer or respond to me. How can I help her overcome this? Up to this point, is has just been me asking her repeatedly until I finally get frustrated and say firmly "You're being very rude. Please answer me." I would like to avoid the frustration on both our parts. Any ideas would be great! Thanks!
2007-02-08 07:00:41 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Weeksfamilyof4:
She is being rude if after I have asked her 5 times and she has told me that she can hear me she still refuses to answer. She may be more inclined to get caught up in the computer because of the Asperger's, but that does not mean that she has the right to ignore people. I am very patient with her, I do not yell at her at all. My whole reason for asking this question was to find a constructive way to help her. I obviously have her best interests at heart Please do not be so quick to judge others.
2007-02-08 07:55:17 · update #1
Unfortunately, you will have to 'get in her face' a bit--- Not in a mean way, but make direct eye contact and gently ask for her complete attention for a moment until she responds to you. More work for you, but that's the job.
Have you received any training, or do you have access to a support group? Try to get as much education on the subject as you can--- knowledge is power! Others who are dealing with this particular syndrome will be able to give you tips, as well as emotional support on the patience issues.
2007-02-08 07:16:33 · answer #1 · answered by Rani 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children with Asperger's usually have a fixation or when they get into some sort of activity, like watching TV, they can't turn themselves away from it. Here are my 2 suggestions; Has her to look at your eyes. Once she does that tell her what you have to say. The other thing is turning off the TV before you start talking to her. Good Luck and be patient. There are some books available on how to deal with children with Asperger's.
2007-02-08 15:21:00 · answer #2 · answered by luckyclover4 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a teacher I often have these problems with out the t.v. or computer and students that are totally normal. You must command attention. When I say this I do not mean that you have to be obnoxious. I simply mean that if there is something else that has her attention you must turn it off or put yourself between her and the whatever. Then wait until you have her undivided attention before you begin and let her know that you have no intention of turning something back or getting out of the way till you get an answer.
2007-02-08 16:26:12 · answer #3 · answered by msdeville96 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree with the first poster by cutting the TV or computer when she does this. My son is almost 8 and does the same thing. I just take things away that he likes. Telling her that she is being rude may work also. Maybe next time she wants something from you, ignore her.....and then ask her if she likes it when you do it to her, and she may change her mind about answering you.
2007-02-08 17:09:19 · answer #4 · answered by newbie_inbc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My 6 year old tends to do this sometimes. I don't think it would be rude for you to ask her a question and if she doesn't respond cut the TV or the computer off she will instantly give you her attention. Ask her what you want to ask and then cut the TV or Computer screen back on. If my son ignores me that is what I do and they will give you there attention quickly in order to get back to what they want to do. They also remember that the next time you ask them a question. Also keep in mind that sometimes (my husband) can be so into his sports you think they hear you and they don't.
2007-02-08 15:09:00 · answer #5 · answered by missingNYC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to get training because call a child rude with aspergers is not nice
i have a son with aspergers and they tend just to do what they want to and if you want her attention walk in the room and look at her and speak don't yell they turn you out and not listens.
so please get help and training are you are in for awaking.
2007-02-08 15:49:34 · answer #6 · answered by weeksfamilyof4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I obviously have her best interests at heart " I doubt that simply because you don't seem to understand her illness. IF you did understand the illness YOU wouldn't be so quick to judge her or lable her rude. Maybe taking care of this child is the wrong job for you. I know you are the wrong person to be looking after her....too bad her parents aren't seeing that as well.
2007-02-10 02:46:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋