Our son will not sleep in his own room ?

Question

When it is time for our 3 1/2 year old son to go to bed he tries to come up with any excuse he can to not sleep in his room. He says that there are monsters, ghosts etc... in his room. He goes through a 30 - 45 min yelling and screaming tantrum before we can finally get him to somewhat settle down. Has anyone gone through this same situation that can give us some tips on what we can try ? We are open to any suggestions. We have done the obvious things like tell him that there are no monsters in his room.

Answer 1

Where does he want to sleep? Maybe he feels like he doesnt get enough time with you and by having fits he gets that time. Could it be his way of getting the attention he needs? My daughter misbehaves before bed when she doesnt get enough "cuddle" time with me. Tried leaving a light on in his bedroom? A special monster-repelling toy? Maybe the tree outside casts a scary shadow on the wall? Who knows. I'm sure you've looked into all that, but just in case, I thought I'd mention it.

Ideas:
Start his bedtime routine a bit earlier, and indulge him - ask him where the monsters are. "In the closet" open the closet all silly like and then yell "nope!! no monsters!!". Humor usually transforms a fit to a giggle, in my experience. Keep it silly till you tuck him in and when he says it again say "nope! i checked, remember?" Stack toy buckets under the bed. "Where would a monster fit? Your toys are jammed under there! There's no room!"

Tell him if he really wants that Superman bedding you will buy it if he cooperates with bedtime. I really think people who say not to use bribery with your kids dont have kids. And if he starts up again, take it away until he behaves again. Point out, "if you keep misbehaving, i'm returning superman!".

Tell him he is going to bed at a set time. Offer to stay with him until he falls asleep, but he has to lay quietly or you will leave.

Maybe he's overtired, so make bedtime earlier. Adjust it for the length of anticipated fit so he's still in bed at 8 (or whatever). Instead of starting at 8 and the fit ending at 8:45, start at 7:15 and then he's still in bed at 8. He's old enough to reason with, to a degree. Maybe he'll figure out he want to play for that extra 45 minutes instead of scream. Of course, you need to communicate to him what you are doing or it wont work. Or back up bedtime if you can. Maybe he's not tired at that time?

Or just let him scream and cry, turn off the monitor, and put up a baby gate so he cant get out of his room. Check on him of course. Its harsh, but if nothing else works, and you've ruled out all fears and needs, well...what else can you do?

Answer 2

We have been through that with our two boys. Here is what worked for us:
1) I took a aerosol bottle of air freshener and made a new label for it. I turned it into "Monster Spray" and we would spray it in all the monster "hiding places".
2) We gave them "light sabers" to "fight" away the things that scared them. All it was was a flashlight that was decorated with superhero stickers. They would turn on the "light saber" and vanquish the ghosts or monsters.
3) We convinced them that monsters/ghosts, etc. were scared of light. We went and bought a nightlight with their favorite cartoon character on it.
4) The boys felt "safer" when they were in their super hero pajamas. Super hero bedding or pillow(s) might work too.
5) We played soothing music for them. (Currently, it is Rich Mullins.) The music gives them something else to focus on and it hides "mysterious" noises at night.

Answer 3

i went through the same thing with my son and tried everything. finally one night at a friends house they had supernanny on and it was showing the bedtime routine. we put our son in the bed read him a story and told him good night, then left the room. if he came out then we put him right back in the bed without saying a word. we kept doing this until he didn't come out anymore. i admit at first we were ready to give in but after about 30 minutes he was asleep. we continued doing this every night at the same time and by the third night he didn't come out but one time. i hope this helps.

Answer 4

For simple idea from a long story.... I just get accompany my little brother who is in the same happening to him untill he is sleeping at the same age as your son now. Then I decide to sleep with him in the same room or back to my own room. Yes! Lonely child who is experience the 1st night alone in the room and so on the days usually said that. It's their imagination or believe which scare them most. Sometimes their are right! Their are right if you both are telling the same so. You'll know that. However, get to understand deeply what your child want the most. Sometimes they just need a company/friend with them to sleep with. Sometimes they need to get the lights on untill the morning. Sometimes they just dreaming. But there is something he want from you to get through the situation. Imagine..... Being alone at the age of 3 1/2 in a room. Perhaps dark. What do you need? ....That is what he need.

Answer 5

I saw this on SuperNanny the other day. She says to do some sort of monster purging ceremony type thing every night. Go through is whole room, closet, and under the bed waving a "magic wand" or spraying Monster Repellant (scented water) saying "Monsters Be Gone!" Do a run through after and make sure its safe.

Also (my idea) you can give him some sort of special talisman like a Magic-Monster-Repellant rock - (it's like kryptonite to monsters)

Its his imagination that makes him feel frightened - use his imagination to make him feel safe.

Answer 6

I went through the same thing. I started by laying down with him to sleep. At times I fell asleep for a while before I got up to go to my own bed, but it got him used to falling asleep in his own bed. I also used bribery. I know, not the best parenting tactic. My son LOVED Power Rangers at the time, so I began buying or recording Power Ranger videos for him and they were the incentive to get him to sleep in his own bed. He was that exact same age too. He's 15 years old now. It took some patience, but it worked!

Answer 7

Do a nightly "monster check" for him. Look under the bed, in the closet, etc. and announce "No monsters tonight". That might make him feel better. Also, try leaving his bedroom door opened a bit and get him a night light. Good luck!

Answer 8

Have you taken him in their prior to bed time, turned on all the lights, look in the closets and under the bed... also try giving him a flashlight to sleep with or a night light. My friend's son went through the same thing and after he had a night light and a cool flashlight he would go to bed willingly... i would try that.. other then that i have no idea and pray my son doesn't do that... goodluck

Answer 9

Be firm, put him to bed, and ignore the tantrums. NEVER lie down next to him until he's asleep. NEVER take him into your bed and transport him after he's asleep. He has to learn that this is not appropriate behavior.

If you don't do this he will never stop. He's trying to get attention and you are giving it to him.

Answer 10

my daughter was the same way she is 2 1/2 we just put her in her bed and let her cry and when she got out of bed we put her right back in it took like 2 days and now she sleeps all by her self and she don't even cry any more