how do you cope after losing your mom and sister?? what are some ways i could use to help me through this time

Answer 1

To lose two close relatives (and probably two close confidants) around the same time one right after the other is very trying. I am sorry this had to happen to you. This type of thing happened to a close, female friend of mine. Remembering her experience (several relatives dying one year after the other) I can give you some pointers:

(1) If you are a churchgoer, continue to go to church. You may not feel you can handle any activities right now than attending services, but that in itself will give you a sense of belonging from the other people there. It is extremely dangerous for you to suddenly stop attending church altogether. You may need a break every once and a while, but make sure you go back the next week.

(2) Be very careful about any change in your relationship status right now. Some newly bereaved people are driven to form relationships with unsavory people just to drive away the loneliness.

(3) Cultivate your belief system regarding the afterlife. Talk to your pastor. Read the Bible and encouraging books. You will meet your sister and mother again someday. Hold on to that belief.

(4) If you have a close friend who will listen to your everyday concerns now, you have found a true gem in life. It's not always what he or she says; it's the idea that she or he listens to you that is important.

(5) If you don't have a close friend or another family member to confide in, talk to you pastor or a bereavement counselor. You could even join a bereavement group.

(6) Remember your mother and sister. Leave their pictures up.

(7) Depending on your belief system, you may feel that you sometimes sense their presence. Don't be afraid. Enjoy the experience.

(8) Cry and otherwise mourn. Don't try to hide your sorrow by over working at volunteer jobs right now or over-working at work or in the house. It is perfectly normal to grieve for someone who was close to you.

(9) Stay connected to other family members, even if that means writing a letter or e-mail to a long-distance relative.

(10) You can write a daily letter to yourself too, in the form of a journal. Some people feel most comfortable doing this on their computer; others get more out of it writing longhand in a bound journal or notebook.

(11) Read books about grief. Some examples:
http://www.amazon.com/Grieving-Death-Mother-Harold-Smith/dp/0806643471/ref=pd_sim_b_4/002-7050168-8881627

http://www.amazon.com/Sibling-Grief-Healing-Sister-Brother/dp/0595385133/sr=1-1/qid=1171006425/ref=sr_1_1/002-7050168-8881627?ie=UTF8&s=books

http://www.amazon.com/Motherless-Daughters-Legacy-Hope-Edelman/dp/0738210269/ref=pd_sim_b_1/002-7050168-8881627

Also, if you can somehow get a hold of a Reader's Digest article entitled "Choose Life" by writer Ardis Whitman (Reader's Digest, November 1984) that might also help you. Mrs. Whiteman was wrote for the Reader's Digest for approximately 40 years.

Answer 2

My deepest sympathies for your loss, how tragic. Is there a trusted adult, counselor, teacher, clergy, friend that you could talk to. It's so good that you are looking for ways to cope, I think that alone is a good sign that you will get through this. Writing about your feelings and experiences is a good coping skill also writing to your Mom and sister (or just talking) to them may also be helpful. I hope this helps, hang in there honey.

Answer 3

That is very hard, and I'm so sorry. Some good ways would be to write all your feelings down somewhere, like a journal. Just get everything you feel out. Also, you could go and talk to someone, whether it be a friend or a professional. And just take time.

Answer 4

I am sorry for your loss and I hope that life will be gentle with you during this time of change. You may want to find a grief support group. Check with your local hospital, mortuary, or crisis center. Also, try keeping a journal of your feelings. This will help you center and keep focused, plus it's a great outlet. Celebrate the life of your mom and sister. There is nothing that can take away the pain of loss, but in time it will hurt less.

Answer 5

First of all, I'm so sorry for your loss...It must be a very difficult time for you...Stay close to the rest of your family as they are hurting too....There are "grief sessions" in most places around the country so maybe seek out one of those...Also, if you belong to a church talk to the pastor or priest, or maybe a teacher or school councelor if you are still in school...Good luck and my prayers are with you

Answer 6

see your doctor....he/she is the best place to start, they have the resources for you and can set you up for grievance counselling and anything else you may need in this awful time. I am sooo sorry you lost your mom and sister.
be well,
sweetmom

Answer 7

then i think you need an escape, smoke bowl it will help to think other stuff, maby you have an insight about your family,