i'm 20 and have been on one date, and she lost interest as soon as she got to know me good, even though she initiated the talking between us. i'm terrible around people (my personality shuts down around everyone except for my family). i have no good friends, and i often feel hopeless about being alone.
2007-02-08 06:18:12 · 11 answers · asked by Wocka wocka 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to build up your self-confidence. Start small. Next time you are at the store or gas station, try asking the clerk or salesperson how his or her day has been so far. It will make them happy, and it will get you used to the idea of talking to strangers. Make it a point to casually talk to strangers that you pass by at the mall or on the street just to say hi.
A lack of confidence is a big turn off to many girls. No one wants a coward for a boyfriend.
Don't get upset if someone reacts to you the wrong way and makes a scene or gets offended. Some people are just rude, or having a bad day, so just forget about it and move on to the next person. Learning to be social is a learning experience, after all, so it is OK to make a few mistakes and offend a few strangers by accident. They will get over it, and so will you.
You can also build up your self-confidence by asking yourself, aren't you a nice person? Don't you make a good friend? Then if she turns you down, then SHE is the one who missed out on getting to know someone as wonderful as you. YOU are the prize, not her, and don't you forget it. If she turns you down, then she has done you the favor of freeing you up to talk to someone who actually does appreciate you, so don't take it personally if one person here or there doesn't like you.
And maintain good eye contact when you talk to people. if you are always looking at the ground when you speak to people, they will think that you are a psycho (or else she will think that you are looking at her breasts and get offended). If you are too nervous to maintain eye contact for long, then try to break eye contact by looking away horizontally as if you were looking for your friend, not by looking down. And don't slouch; it makes you look submissive and weak. Make a conscience effort to stand up straight.
Women like a sense of humor, so you can start a conversation with a small joke about something that she is doing, looking at, or wearing. Not only will this it make you seem fun, but it implies that you have some confidence because it implies that you are will to risk offending her (someone could potentially take the joke the wrong way, but this also serves as a screening function for you -- why date a prude with no sense of humor?).
And don't talk about everyday stuff, that's boring. Talk about something light and fun (women want to have fun on a date, not engage in a classroom lecture). If you cannot think about anything funny to say, then walk up to her and ask her opinion on something regarding male/female relations, or the latest famous person's scandal (tell her that you are trying to settle a bet with a friend or something).
2007-02-08 06:41:03 · answer #1 · answered by Randy G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was exactly like you once. i didn't have a boyfriend until i was 22 years old. i never went out on a date is HS or even had my first kiss until I was 20. For some people, it takes time. I was convinced I would be alone forever. I'm very shy and reserved around people i don't know. Now i am very happy with my boyfriend. It's worth the wait, you'll find someone.
2007-02-08 06:24:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you continue to think of yourself as a less than perfect person that is exactly what you will be the rest of your life.
Consider professional or self-help groups to help you see yourself in a whole new complete way. There are so m,ant out there and so many that are going through the same thing you are going through.
It is your life, it is up to you what you make of it and how you go about living it. You are worth more than you are allowing yourself.
It is up to you!
2007-02-08 06:24:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you just need to feel comfortable with yourself, once that happens the girls will flock to you. Confidence is the key. People that are lonely forever choose to be that way... you are young, you have a lot of time to play the field... keep your chin up... Good Luck
2007-02-08 06:25:04 · answer #4 · answered by B-Diddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean, you are still young tho i mean your 20 say on average you have another 55 years to live, i say you have a pretty good chance of meeting someone!! you just have to cease the chances you get, and get to know somebody who is similar to you.
2007-02-08 06:24:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the odds of u being alone forever r 0-0 that's impossible. u just need to wait for sumone who'll love u for u
2007-02-08 06:21:56 · answer #6 · answered by tomboy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey.. same here pal...as i read ur question..it was kinda like describing myself...well u know wat...so wat....dats the way GOD created me and that the way he wanted me to be....it wouldn't hurt to get a girl dou....had only a couple till now and im 21....so ur not the only one.....just gotta keep looking and go out as much as possible, that helps alot...
2007-02-08 06:45:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey com'on ... there are many people who think that way... you should cheer up... get a free membership on www.innocentangel.org and see what will happen next... Im sure you will meet nice people there who can cheer you up a bit...
good luck anyways and dont loose hope
2007-02-08 06:24:46 · answer #8 · answered by explosivegrey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one will ever stay lonely forever. there are plenty of fish in the sea. pal, you'll find your marlin
2007-02-08 06:21:28 · answer #9 · answered by g13player 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u wont stay lonely 4eva just be yourself and im sure that u'll find som1 dont wrry bout it
2007-02-08 07:42:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋