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As in insulting you, calling you every name under the sun and accusing you of things that you know are not true... And this person doesn't even know you that well...

2007-02-08 06:06:26 · 60 answers · asked by Liz S 1 in Society & Culture Etiquette

60 answers

They are obviously insecure and see you as a threat - I mean people who generally do this.

Just act like yourself - be confident and tell them straight to speak to you in an appropriate manner.

2007-02-08 06:16:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

I'm not an enabler so I choose to deal with vile treatment towards me instead of modeling that nasty behavior is socially acceptable. Society has no business asking why are they doing this and that if society is part of the problem due to enabling. Obviously if one has done something they should take responsibility for their own actions in any relationship. If there is a problem in a relationship someone always starts it. The fad of today is "it takes two". Well it's nice to see that people can count but reality proves if someone is messing up then someone needs to deal with their issues without being helped along to continue them. Simply ignoring them either opens yourself up to be revisited with the same treatment or suggests they move onto another. After all, in saying nothing you've indicated to them there isn't really a problem.

If you are being treated nasty for no reason yet the individual feels they have a special imaginary license to treat you like that ask them:

What is really bothering you...do you want to talk about it?

If they continue projecting and attempting to make you feel as bad as they feel set personal boundaries. If they are creating a situation by attacking so they can feel like a victim let them know you aren't putting up with it. Regardless of what anyone says these days -people have personal boundaries- and they can't be lip serviced away.

If they continue to go off on you THEN walk away.

2007-02-08 07:18:15 · answer #2 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 0 0

When those situations arise I use the kill em with kindness routine. Basically I just agree with everything they say & compliment about how intuitive they are & how smart they are, etc, etc. It takes the winds out of their sails & generally leaves them dumbfounded. Rudeness generally begets rudeness but that does not help. I like to thank them for being so right as well. I know it sounds silly, but try it & have fun with it. Don't stoop to their level if you can help it. Once I got a phone call complaint about a waitress I was in charge of at the time & the person was really laying it on thick. I liked the waitress as she was a hard worker who never missed work & did extra shifts when others wouldn't show up. Well, I thanked the caller & told them I would fire the waitress immediately as I was sure that would solve the problem & they agreed. I hung up & didn't say a word to the waitress. She worked 2 more years for me before moving on to another job. I thought it was extremely funny. I often wondered what the mystery caller thought about that.

2007-02-08 06:27:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

What these bullies love to see is your reaction. I was bullied badly when I was younger and I found the perfect way to stop them in their tracks and really pee them off. Just laugh at them and walk away half way through. If they follow you turn around and say that you have no interest in what they think and try and find somewhere you can close a door between you. Harder said than done, but don't let them see that they have upset you.

At the end of the day, what does it matter what a bullying, nasty person thinks of you. You know yourself, you know that they are lies and that's all that matters. It's taken me a long time to not give a stuff about what other people think of me and now I feel more able to disagree with people amicably and stand up for myself when on the end of one of those small minded people!

2007-02-08 06:13:59 · answer #4 · answered by Jojotraveller 4 · 4 0

I was in a similar situation not long ago. I initially just walked away (which my tormentor saw as a sign of weakness) but eventually had to put my foot down. I told these particular colleague I would take the issue to management if she carried on being so idiotic and disruptive. I made it clear that she were not to speak to me unless it was work related. I did not want or need her friendship. Period. I was really confused when the general manager came to me a few days later and demanded rather rudely that I should head to the office immediately, "this can not go on", she screeched. To cut a saga short, my colleague had manipulated my words and gone to management accusing me of all sorts but mainly the very things she had done to me. I sat there aghast with a lump in my throat. Could not put a word in with her wailing (playing victim) and my boss reprimanding me! Anyway, I was duly dismissed with a stern warning and lecture on rules and regulations. Logic said quit work, get even, proof her wrong, clear your name etc but instinct urged me to keep my distance, bide my time and give her enough rope, she'd eventualy hang herself. I had a good old cry and resolved to watch her every action and taunts without reacting but rather taking deliberate action and questioning her comments. What would make you say, think, assume etc that? I soon realised that wound her up something chronic mainly because the accusations were unfounded and she had to explain how she reached her conclusions (When she tried it on in private I simply walked away but when a third party was present I made her explain herself). I figured with a witness she can not run to management with twisted versions of what happened. It took 3 years and instinct was right on many occassions. My company decided to promote me to head of department and once the promotion was confirmed in writing, I gave in my letter of resignation. I had the last laugh and though it was wicked it felt mighty fine. Anger will cloud your judgement and cause you to react when you should be making a conscious decision to act in a precise manner- with your wits around you. If you can not avoid this person entirely then outsmart them by knowing when to walk away and when to beat them at their own game. It would help if you knew what they envy off of you darling. Envy and jealousy is the stuff such characters are made of. All the best.

2007-02-08 07:25:30 · answer #5 · answered by kahahius 3 · 0 0

Smile and act super polite. It is impossible for someone to have an arguement if the other person isn't arguing back.

If the other person doesnt know you that well then dont worry about - this is their problem.

If it is at work or school then contact someone who is in charge because this is deemed as harrassement and should be dealt with accordingly (that scum should be fired).

If it is in your personal life ask this person what you have done to upset them and if they cant come up with anything rational, just avoid them.

2007-02-08 21:19:21 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Claire - Hates Bigotry 6 · 0 0

its hard, but its called the high road for a reason. Sometimes the hardest thing in the world is not to sink to that persons level and call them names & be nasty back. BUT a wise man says dont argue with fools cuz ppl from a distance cant tell whos who. The best response is to ignore that person. they are trying to upset you and if they do, in a way they have won. If you on the other hand be the bigger person and ignore their remarks, they cant hurt you. They are left looking petty and foolish. its hard, but in the end karma takes care of everything, who wants those ugly thoughts and hate festering inside of them, let them have it, you stay beautiful inside and out!

2007-02-08 06:48:01 · answer #7 · answered by ::A'La Mode:: 4 · 2 0

I would ignore that person. I encountered a rude temp on one of my projects in January and she thought I had a lot of money. If I did, I wouldn't be temping, because it is a pain in the butt waiting for something to come in and happen. she told me to go into my own business. I don't have that much of a network and I already let my contact know that I am looking and still nothing. So I am glad that project is finished.

2007-02-08 06:10:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

So many variables, it is hard to know the best way to handle it--- like, why were they doing that, etc.?
Generally the best way is to simply laugh at them and walk away. A shouting match seldom accomplishes much, other than bringing you down to their level. Such ignorant behavior is the best way for THEM to lose friends and respect, and generally their tantrum does not reflect on you at all--
If there is a way for you to calmly and intelligently answer him/her that shows them as the idiot they are, then do that. Otherwise, simply be 'above' it all---
The hardest thing for someone who is attacking you to tolerate is your being completely unaffected by their attack.

2007-02-08 06:19:11 · answer #9 · answered by Rani 4 · 1 0

If they were doing it to my face, I would ask them what I did to offend them. If they were doing this behind my back, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Anyone who runs their mouth behind your back and doesn't say it to your face, isn't worth getting upset about. I personally don't give in to rude people. I allow them to continue being rude and I just keep on being polite. I treat people the way I want to be treated no matter how poorly they act towards me. Thank you and good luck.

2007-02-08 06:11:26 · answer #10 · answered by cookie 6 · 0 0

React shocked after the person as gone other wise they feel that they accomplished what they wanted to too

Unless ur like me insult them back then walk away

2007-02-08 06:10:06 · answer #11 · answered by I'm Just Me 3 · 1 1

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