How can I be a good parent when she wont let me see my daughter?

Question

Ok I'm sorry I was not spacific. I married a woman who had a baby and i raised her as my own since she was an infant. Now my wife has left me because of her family. I will always love them both but I am afraid my time in there life is over. She wont let me see my daughter. I cant just except that they are gone the pain would be too much to bear.

Answer 1

Are you paying support? I'm sure you already knew about taking her to court, right? It's the moneything isn't it?

Answer 2

Well this is more of a legal question. Depending on the state that you live in you can file for visitation and / or joint custody.
You can also go the non-legal route by showing interest in your child. If all has failed I would file a petition in your local family court. Also , if you don't pay child support the judge may just look at you and say "pay and then you can visit". But if you pay support then you have every legal right to visit with your child. Also, if your child's mother does not have "sole custody " through a court , you can go and see your child when you want and there is nothing that she can do . I live in NY state and that is how it is here . Good Luck

Answer 3

Even though the mother has a lot of rights to the child, doesn't mean you can't fight for them too. If you're trying to step up and you want some kind of visitation or joint custody, than take her to court. And if she violates the court order than she goes to jail, and I don't think she's gonna want that. I don't know your situation or her, so I don't know if she's just trying to be nasty or she has a good reason, but the judge will decide that.... so I would call the department of social services, family court, and a lawyer. Good luck on that.

Answer 4

If you don't already have one, you need to get a court ordered visitation schedule. Once its in writing, she can't legally deny you visitation. The police will help you enforce visitation if necessary, and she can go to jail for contempt of the court order.

Remember, child support is a different subject. Whether you pay or not (and you should pay every month regardless of whether you see your child), she cannot withhold visitation based on child support payments. Part of being a good parent is keeping up with your financial obligation.

You can always write letters and notes to your daughter, and file them away for her to get when she is older. That way she will know that you were thinking of her often.

Answer 5

I was you. I would get a DNA paternity done. Second once it comes out positive I would file papers with the court establishing paternity. Then once this is done you would have to file papers for child support and visitation rights. Once you go to court the judge would establish visitation schedule or you can go to mediation to set up a schedule that would work for both parents and child. Remember she cannot refuse to let you see your daughter. Also keep a log of times that you have called her and wanting to see her. This way the judge can see that she refused to let you see her. Also this is in your favor. Keep all emails text messages that can also help you in court. Remember it is important to put your daughter first. If you give her money write out a check this way you have evidence and keep track out it.

Answer 6

Then take her to court and file for visitation rights, but have you also thought of why she is being this way, Have you done something wrong were she has a reason to act this way with you because we all know Mothers don't keep their children away for no apparent reason so fess up what you did and be a little bit more specific on your question then maybe we can help and one last thing its good that you want to be a good parent but only you and she knows the Story Good Luck k.

Answer 7

Kudos Dad! Support the daughter financially and get a lawyer to help you get visitation if mom refuses to let you see her. Tell mom up front of your intentions. This may cause a sudden change of heart, maybe not. Child support does NOT have anything to do with visitation. I would say write to daughter but she probably won't get the letters. You are being a good dad by asking what to do! Get legal help in this one so you can have uninterrupted visitation with her.

Answer 8

Hi Richard,
You didnt say very much about your situation.
First of all, are you paying child support? If not then I don't blame her.
If you are doing that see a lawyer, your entitled to free legal aid if you cannot afford one. I would go to my local social welfare office and ask for advice too.
Send her birthday presants by registered post and keep a record of this, give her a call and ask to speak to your daughter. (if she says no, your daughter will know that you have tried.
Fathers are an important part of their childs life, dont give up on it, good luck!

Answer 9

If you pay child support and have visitation through the court system, she is in contempt of court for not allowing visitation. Legally, you can have her put in jail. Call DHR and check on this, they will be able to help, or at least point you in the right direction. Good Luck.

Answer 10

You need to get the law involved in this, unfortunately. A judge can order visitation rights for you at the very least, and you can request joint custody ... and if the mother refuses after there's been an order, she can face jail time, fees; lots of nasty things. You deserve to see your child. Fight it. Good luck!

Answer 11

Before you do the court thing and create more bitterness ask if you can talk to her about it first.

Ask her what changes she would want to see to enable a process whereby you could start spending more time with your daughter...

Unless she is a totally unreasonable nutjob, then u need to go to court!