This is a question for parents with ADHD kids?

Question

My son has ADHD,He is doing very poorly in school.He is failing every thing with grades like in the 50s. His teacher says he can do better and keep up with the class if he tried harder. He never does his home work, i tried everything. he tells me he cant write fast enough to keep up with his class. He told his teacher this and she just said you can if you tried.His hand writing looks like a first graders hand writeing. I forgot to say he is 12 years old. My son is very bright but his teachers wont work with him. The school makes every one wear an i.d. if the child doesnt have his id he has to go to detention. My son often forgets his at home or looses it. He also has a hard time keeping up with his books, he looses them too. I think the teachers should be educated about adhd kids and what they should do to help them learn. How can i get the teachers to understand my child and work with him in the class room?

Answer 1

This breaks my heart. Some children -- whether they have ADHD or no -- have a hard time with handwriting and other fine-motor skills. It is sometimes referred to as dysgraphia. It can mess them up in school in many ways, including having a hard time keeping their stuff organized and avoiding writing tasks, like homework. Teachers often make the mistake of thinking they don't know the material or they are goofing off when they really are just having a hard time getting it down on paper. Go back to the person who diagnosed ADHD or to another diagnostician and ask about your son's fine-motor and motor-planning skills. Or ask that an occupational therapist (OT) take a look at your son. And have them talk to your son's teacher and set her straight. There are ways to make your child's life easier in class. He can be taught to type and be allowed to type his homework, for instance. He can give test answers orally and not be timed on written tests. (Why penalize him, when it's just the handwriting that's slowing him down?) Good luck.

Answer 2

I'm the mother of an ADHD child and I understand your frustration. It can be very challenging in the day to day activities of ADHD kids and their parents.

It could be that he's overwhelmed in the classroom since ADHD kids tend to be easily overwhelmed at times. Too much or too loud noise, easily distracted by others, etc. Have you talked to your child's principal? That might be the way to go if his teachers aren't sympathetic to his needs. Do they know your son is ADHD?

ADHD kids tend to be very smart and maybe he's not being challenged enough in his classes. That's something else to think about.

I'm also very familiar with the forgetfulness. I've discovered that there needs to be a routine from which we never deviate. As soon as he walks in the door it's homework time. If there happens to be a lot of homework then I allow for a 15 minute break between subjects. Again it's the overwhelming factor. As soon as homework is finished, it's into the back pack. Believe me, it keeps down on the forgetfulness. The school ID goes around the next before he leaves home and that's usually because I put it there. Sometimes, with kids like ours, we have to take them thru their daily routine one step at a time and I know how frustrating that can get, especially when they're old enough to have the routine down pat.

You don't say if your child is on medication. If he isn't, he might need to be. There are plenty of meds out there these day. I keep my son on his medication during the school days.

My son is 9 and there are days when I just want to bang my head against a wall in trying to get thru to him. It's all a part of the condition, I think.

Good luck and I hope my answer has helped you in some way. I know the challenge and live it from day to day so I'm feelin' ya, really!

Answer 3

Heh. Sounds just like me. First of all, he's likley to be an Indigo Child (Children with an IQ 160 or above who seem to have ADHD or other disorders). If he is, than I suggest home schooling, for his right minded brain won't be able to handle left brained school. Chanches are he's rebeling and just doesn't want to be burdend by schoolwork. "After all, why do home work when you've already learned the stuff. It's pointless to prove that you've already studied it and understand it". Also, he probably is learning, but has trouble doing the work. Does he have writers block? Is he very critical of his work? If not, I suggest you tell him you'll give him gifts or a trip to a theme park, and keep your word.

If you want his teachers to understand him them set up an appointment for your kid to tell the teachers what his problems with school are so the teachers will tutor him in a diffrent way or whatever it is that you want your teachers to do for him. Other than that, Goodluck.


Note: Ok, please understand that I'm not a parent but am in fact a 13 year old who's an honor role student and has been considered "extrememly intelligent" by many. But also happpens to have ADD and horrible handwriting and always forgets to bring her books to school and NEVER does her homework. So, sorry that I answered a question that was ment only for parents of ADHD children to answer. But I just had to answer to a question that I could completly relate too and give advice as though I was the child himself.

Answer 4

This is what we go through every day. It seems like schools and teachers have no room for children who are different. I actually worked at the school my son went to, and we got into a bitter fight about what they should do with my son. I had to request he be put on a 504 and then later an IEP, he has no learning disabilities at all, he just has one of the worst cases of ADHD we've seen. He just can't function. I was very hurt that I was pressured into medicating him, like many parents out there. They called me every single day to pick him up because he was hyper. Then they decided to fail him, although his grades were great. They even recommended I take him home from school every day at noon so they won't have to deal with it. What kind of arrangement is that? So I eventually go the IEP which gives him many more rights as a child, and not they HAVE to keep him in school, and they HAVE to work with him. I eventually got him transfered into a program for children very much like him, in a very small classroom and more teachers. He is 1000% better now. All this mess was taking a huge toll on his self-esteem. He's 8 now, but this went on for about 2 years when he first entered school, and I knew these people, they were my colleagues, and I worked in the Special Education department. So I knew what I needed to do to get my son what he needed. I requested the 504, which is due to a health condition, and that didn't do too much for him, and that's why I went with the IEP. Your son may need more coping skills, and try to get him in of these, talk to them and see what works. They have to be flexible and work with you.

Answer 5

ask about an IEP (individualized education program) every school should have this program. in the program your childs specific needs are analyzed and then he can get some one on one time with a teacher. Also, you may want to try counsiling. Sometimes the fear of not fitting in or other common problems teenagers face can lead to these problems. I dont mean to be offensive, but sometimes children feel uncmfortable telling their parents these things. there could be an underlying reason for this behavior. its called "acting out". hope this will at least give u somewhere to start. alot of parents are medicating their children for this behavior. If your son is not currently on meds use this only as a last resort.

Answer 6

It sounds like the teachers are fed up with his irresponsibility. And he might just think everything is too tough, that everyone is hard on him for no reason. He is wrong on both accounts.

Teach him yourself to work. He as to get in the habit of working harder than the others to get ahead. It will probably come down to a contest of wills - yours against his. Don't lose. Don't back down. Don't worry if he says he hates you. He will pull every emotional blackmailing trick on you to get away with being lazy. Don't fall for it.

Stay with him and do his homework WITH him. The first few months will be a pain in the @$$, but after that you both know the work will come easier and homework time will go from all night down to an hour. Don't do it for him - make him explain it to you as if he was the teacher. Don't let him go because it is late and he out-lasted you. Make him do it, and when he is cranky that night and the whole next day remind him that you should work faster that night.

Answer 7

Thats a tough one, depending on where you live, there should be additional support provided by the school.

In the UK, ADHD kids get a learning mentor or classroom assistant to help them take notes and organise themselves between lessons. ADHD kids are also monitored by a SENCO (special educational needs co-ordinator) who will write and IEP and review it regularly - the IEP is a document which is given out to all classroom teachers to help equip them with the knowledge of how to teach kids with learning needs.

Plenty still needs to be done to help equip teachers (and schools) with the best training to help kids with a whole range of learning needs, unfortunately there is never enough time or money.

Don't forget, chances are you son is just one of a number of kids with learning needs in his school. But then again, its usually the squeaky wheel that gets the oil.

Have you thought of getting some information together yourself (with the help of your Doctor or an Ed Psych) and taking it into the school? Perhaps you could put together an IEP yourself if the school doesn't already have one (Individual Educational Profile - which outlines things like the best place for your son to sit, how to encourage & discipline, how much support he needs in each subject etc...)

ADHD is a real challenge for sufferer and their family & support network. I hope you find the support you and your son need.

Answer 8

I have a daughter that has ADHD and YOU must take the lead in getting him on track.Introduce a hobby that he enjoys and let him know that if he does not keep up with the school stuff then there will be consequences.Stay in close contact with the teacher and let your son know that yall are talking.If you are aware of everything then you can praise him on doing things well and that may give him the desire to "KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK"Good luck

Answer 9

I went through the same thing with my son. What I did is call his doctor to if there was to help him out in school. Then I called the school and asked for an IEP to a plan out for him. If you have to raise hell then do it. I had to raise a bunch of hell. Now he's on a light dose of medicine and they are going by his IEP and he's doing so much better in school. I know parents don't like putting their kids on medicine but some kids need it to function at school and my 11yr old was one of those kids. If need be find a doctor who deals only with kids who have ADHD or check out some web sites.

Answer 10

It sounds like the school your child attends has a bunch of babysitter school drop outs as teachers! I very rarely hear of a teacher who doesn't work with kids who have particular needs. Or a school who won't help you. If you have talked to the teacher to no avail, go to the principle of the school. If that doesn't work, the superintendents office. If that doesn't work, go to the school board. If that doesn't work, use the newspaper to get word out of your discriminatory school! Don't stop fighting for your child's rights! Our schools allow other students to help in the class room with kids who can't write well because of adhd or other problems. Check with your state education board for more help. Our state has child advocates that are lawyers who help parents with these kinds of problems. Check around! Keep fighting for your child. Your example of fighting for his rights will encourage him to try to do better. Let him know what you are doing for him, keep him in the loop. It is his education! There is a government program called no child left behind. It is supposed to help in cases like this. Be a "whistle blower" if you have to to get results!