best friend for never?

Question

Recently, I snooped in my best friends personal stuff, and read something I shouldn't have. I found out that she has had sex, something we both promised we would never do until we are married. Now I am feeling miserable, because she has gone and done it and never even told me, and I am kind of jealous too. Do I have the right to feel this way? I know what I did was wrong, what should I do?

Well, I know it happened four months ago, and she doesn't see the guy any more. The note explained everything, she did it out of wanting love for another guy who didn't give it to her. She had sex to make him jealous, etc. And the promise wasn't really to each other, it was to our future husbands and we would hold each other accountable for it.

Answer 1

I really respect your decision to wait to have sex. I couldn't pull that off. Lots of people will probably tell you to go and have sex for yourself, DON'T. Waiting to find someone you love will be well worth the wait. I lost my virginity when I was 15 to some random chick, and I regret it all the time. It's a really special thing and not worth giving it out to someone who hasn't deserved it. I think you should talk to your friend, tell her the truth about reading it, see how she reacts, then see if you can patch up the friendship. Maybe snooping wasn't the best thing to do , but she lied to you too.

The last thing you should be is jealous!! Wait. Good Luck

Answer 2

That is the chance you take when you snoop in someones personal stuff, but at the same time, I would feel angry, jealous, and betrayed as well. If this is something that you 2 said you were going to wait until marriage for, then she broke the deal. She betrayed the deal she made with you. As for feeling jealous, even though you both said you would wait, it is normal to feel that way. Everyone wants to have sex one day, and be found attractive and desirable to the opposite sex. Who knows if this person she had sex with really found her attractive or was just using her. You could always ask her, but then she would know you snooped. But at the same time, she is lying by omission to you. She is leaving certain info out and thinks that you are still believing her lies. You might want to cut off the friendship if the betrayal is that bad, or she might be wanting to cut it off because you snooped on her. These are some decisions only you alone can make. Good luck!

Answer 3

Even though the two of you made a promise, sometimes things happen that you don't expect yourself to do. While at the time the idea of sex might have seemed insane, and like she could wait, she might just have been ready at that point in time. She probably chose not to tell you knowing that it would hurt you too much if she did. She is probably concerned you'll be angry with her if she tells you. Also, saying 'I had sex' is not the easiest thing to bring up in a conversation, especially at this age. You have the right to feel angry and jealous. Sure, you didn't something wrong, but it happens. Try not to worry about it too much. Just know in your mind that your even; she broke a promise, you violated her trust. If you really want to know, find casual ways to slip it into conversation. I'm sure the secret will come out at sometime.

Answer 4

you had no right to go through her things. maybe she knew that you were that kind of nosy dishonest person and that's why she decided not to tell you about it. she has the right to decide to have sex. and she has a right to keep it to herself. she didn't do anything to hurt you. being jealous is natural - but having sex is a huge personal choice that has to be made at the right time in the right situation for everyone. two very simlar great friends can end up having sex for the first time at very different times. my best friend in high school llost her virginity at 16 - I didn't have sex until I was 19 - but that doesn't change anything about our friendship. The two are unrelated. promises like that between young friends seldom stand up to the test of time once the friends get out in the world a bit more. Don't tell her you snooped. Don't ever snoop again.

Answer 5

I suppose you have mixed feelings, cause your question is kind of complex. Let's devide it.
You feel quity cause you snooped into your friends personal stuff. That means you had an extraoridinary interest in het private matters.
She had sex. Ok, she promised you to wait, so that's difficult for you, but it explains her silence.
You feel grief cause you lost her, but you are also very honoust in telling that you feel kind of jealous.
The solotion is: pick up the phone and talk. Be open. About eveyrthing. The promise was not working, never mind, you feel jealous - say it!! - and you feel sorry.
You are just moving on. Congratiolations! Be a good friend and admit it.

Answer 6

I think you should just let it go...sometimes when friends make a pact like that and one breaks it for whatever reason that can end a friendship...do you know the whole story or just read a note or something...maybe it was recent and she hasn't found a way to talk about it...give it time she'll be okay and as for your being jealous... Maybe you should think about the end result and how much more upset you might be if you did the same thing...maybe she's regretting it.

Answer 7

You have NO business going through her belongings and what gives you the right to do something like that? So what if your best friend lost her virginity first! The both of you are best friends so what's the point on competing with each other when it comes to sex? She doesn't have to tell you everything, because its her business and you shouldn't worry about that! Besides, show some respect towards your best friend and yourself! Also, tell her what you did and take responsibility for your actions!

Answer 8

I know what you feel.. I think you should talk to her about this as soon as posible.. ask forgiveness if you snooped at her things and tell her (in a nice/calm way) about what you found out.. I think promises are made to be broken but I also think bestfriends are more important than promises.. just give your friendship time to heal.. and always remember,
"PEOPLE ALWAYS CHANGE.."

Answer 9

well your jealous cause you want to have sex too, so what, you snooped found out your friend was lying to make you feel good, big deal, friends lie to each other... would you ever tell your fat friend she was fat, of course not, cause thats just rude... be ok with it and confront her tell her you did a bad thing a snooped but you want it out in the open. good luck 2 poiints come on picke me for breast answer.. best answer.. oh yeah go have sex, pretend your married

Answer 10

You should not have snooped in her stuff. Anyways that is a big promise to make with a friend? I think that you need to just let it go, after all you were not supposed to be looking at that information anyhow