I am so lonely I want to die?

Question

I am tired of all of this crap called life. I no longer have family around and I am alone. I have never really had any friends, and I mean never. I was always wandering around alone as a kid. My father is in prison and my mother is a drug addict. My brothers don't talk to me because I want nothing to do with our parents. My wife is never around. She is a work-a-holic. Probably to get away from me. I don't know what to do anymore. The only thing that comes to mind is to take a bunch of my tranquilizers and go to sleep for good. The good thing for me is that I haven't done it yet. I have already been held against my will in a mental hospital twice. I went in for help and basically they will keep you there as a prisoner until you tell them you are no longer thinking of killing yourself. The people in there scare me. You don't get any privacy and you share a room. Lucky for me I get the most disturbed people to share a room with me. HELP ME!!!!!

I wanted to clarify that I am on medications. Now thats a lot of fun. I have been on all sorts of medications for the last 3 years and the only thing I have gotten from it is an addiction to tranquilizers. ( It's an addiction that they created by having me take addictive meds 3 times a day and I can't go off of it without supervision ) So I have a stockpile of it since they give me so much.

Answer 1

I hear ya. I have one living relative left, my twin sister (other than far distant relatives I have not seen in a bazillion years). My twin and I do not get along. My fiance is at work and I cannot find a job to keep my mind occupied. I have lost a lot in life due to sad circumstances and stupid decisions and depression. I am still hanging in there though because I don't want to miss it if there is hope around the corner. Get some anti-depressents (just tell them you are extremely depressed but not suicidal) and then try to get out and get some work that will distract you.

Answer 2

If you feel that depressed and are thinking about killing yourself, maybe you should go to a doctor to see if there is any way they can help you whether by meds or by therapy or both. It is scary at first, but with some time, you can lead a very happy and productive life. I am terribly sorry to hear about your family, which is why I think therapy would be good. You have had trauma after trauma, and you owe it to yourself to be a healthy and strong minded person. Do it for yourself and do it for your wife. If she married you than she obviously loved you at some point. It is hard to love somebody if you don't love yourself though. Not all therapy sessions are scary, you should get a list a try different people out. I promise the results are worth the trouble!!!!

Answer 3

Make an appointment to talk to a psychiatrist, clearly you can see there is a problem and if you came here then obviously you are open for suggestions and are looking for help. Only a psychiatrist will be able to tell you what's the best treatment for you... It's normal for people to become depressed every once in a while but when you start thinking about suicide then it becomes a serious issue. The Dr. may give you some anti-depressants (which i have taken in the past and work wonderfully) or if he feels you should be checked in for while in a mental institution for further evaluation then go ahead and get the help. Good Luck!

Answer 4

You need to really seek some help. Maybe if you have a hobby that you like or maybe take some classes that interest you that will be a great way to meet new people. Maybe join a group that does charity work that way you can help people and meet friends within the group. Know that death is permanent and there is no coming back so please don't do something drastic. It may seem bad now but things can make a drastic change in minuetes. If you ever need to talk or need a friend you can email me @ [e-mail] and I will try to help you through this rough patch.

Answer 5

I think you should run away. Really. Drop everything and take a huge vacation. Don't take any calls from anybody and do whatever. Shop. Play Bingo. Go to movies. Go to church. Just leave a message to your people telling them you are alright and not to worry and just leave for a month or two. Find a new job, start a new life. Be Mr. Independent for a bit. Your wife might miss you and decide not to work so much. Who knows, you might find a new wife! Just do whatever you want. And then if it sucks there to you can really be miserable. Just leave all the crap you livng in where it is and ride out. Don't kill yourself like that though.

Answer 6

Hmm... I see there is a part of you not quite finished with life, because you've asked this question. I really don't believe in depression medication, however many time exceptions are made.
In your case I don't believe you want to die you're simply suffering from a sever case of loneliness and in normal cases I tell you to speak to a friend so if there are no alternatives a pet may do you some good. If that doesn't appeal to you try taking up a hobby. Sounds like you've got far too much time on your hands and that can increase your loneliness. Find something you enjoy and try to keep yourself busy. Good luck my friend.

Answer 7

It sounds like you have been given some very big challenges in this life of yours. When kids grow up with the kind of parents you had, they can tend to distance themselves from other people. Maybe that's why you have found it hard to make friends. It's completely understandable. Counselors and psychiatrists try to help---you know, they give you the meds and try to get you to talk about things you don't want to talk about necessarily. Unfortunately, it just isn't enough a lot of the time. I wish it was easier for people suffering like you are. And I wish the mental health system was better than it is. But we have the choice to tough it out or check out. From what you said in your question and the way you wrote it, you sound like a smart enough guy. You sound like you could most likely get around this thing you've been going through with some inspiration and advice.
There is a really good website that you can check out. Www.realmentalhealth.com. You can see there that you aren't alone and they have a tons of info about all sorts of things that have to do with mental health.
Maybe you could put lots of your energy right now into something that will take your mind off of some of the crap you have to deal with. You don't have to do things that involve other people so much, just something that might inspire or interest you. Watch some movies where the storyline is something that you can relate to. Sit and just tell yourself that there is nothing wrong with you (yea, I know, you think there is something wrong with you but the truth is that you are what you are and it isn't so much that YOU are wrong as it is that you have been stressed to the nth degree) and because of your life circumstances.
One thing I know is that people need to be recognized for who they are and what is important to them, and also simply to be loved. That is basic for everyone. Many people growing up don't have both those things. They are told they are loved but aren't shown it or they are given attention but aren't really loved. We need both.
Give yourself a break. You haven't had it easy. Be kind to yourself and when you feel as bad as you do now, maybe you could try to give yourself the attention you need and try to love yourself for who you are. Just acknowledge the hurting parts of yourself and then try to hold those feelings with love.
Man, I wish you the best. Life is hard, no doubt about it. But I think you will like the website. You can actually chat with other people on it as well. Stick in there. More people than you think really do care.

Answer 8

The person who suggested you do something to help others had a point. I had some huge losses in my life, and I began to wonder if this world was the place for me. As soon as I started volunteering I felt so much better. So, while I understand how dark life can appear, I also know that there is light too, and it begins with helping others. There are a lot of volunteer centers online that are in great need of people to sign up. There is a lot to live for, but you have to put yourself out there and discover for yourself.

Answer 9

I know that you think things will never change but give it a chance and try to make it change yourself. When I was a teen ager, I had no friends too. I never talked to my parents and I kept myself isolated. I tried to commit suicide too but God brought me back and now I am married to a wonderful man and have two beautiful children and many dear friends. What did I do? I changed myself. I was kinder to others. I did things for other people and in return I received help. Killing yourself is not the answer and there is change just around the bend.
You are a special person and you have alot to offer others and others have alot to offer you. Take it one day at a time and think of things you can do to bring yourself out of your depression.

Best thoughts for you

Answer 10

I understand your since of lonliness because I experienced it a couple years back. I was very depressed and was always kicking people out of my life because of their flaws. My mothers is an alcoholic, it almost makes me sad just to type it. I haven't still said it out loud. But I pushed her away because of her sickness, and my father was an addict. I say was because things changed for him. I pushed my man away because I just didn't have love for me, so I could I have love for someone else is what I told him. But one day I was listen to the Christian channel and I heard this lady give her testimony about how she had no family, and she was a whore, and a drug addict and she overcame all those things by the grace of God. So I look and said to myself if she did it then all things are possible. I dropped to my knees and prayed to God to relieve my father from his addiction, and a very few months later her started treatment and know he is 4 years clean. My point is I was lonley, because I was angry at everyone and that got me depressed,so my advice to you is to pray and forgive your parents for there flaws, and learn to deal with your issues in a postive way. Pick out all the good things in your life. I know people say all the time, thank God you got your health. I may sound cheezy, but until you are sick you will thank God everyday of good health, nice teeth, a home, food to eat, I hope this helps. If you every feel sucidial I would suggest you get online and talk to someone, and make friends. and thats the Truth