nice jokes to share?share them here instead of losing 5 points each time to narrate them!!!?

Question

any nice intelligent clever sarcastic witty jokes???

listen...i wasted 5points here so that others could narrate and we could all have the fun at one plae...if u dont have anything to share...atleast dont be rude...did that sink in ur thick head?

the above added detail was for the first answerer....no offence the rest of u plzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Answer 1

Five reasons to believe computers are male:

1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.

2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.

3. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.

4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.

Answer 2

You loose 5 factors for each question you ask. you will get 3 factors decrease back once you %. the ideal answer you acquire. That way it in basic terms expenditures you 2 factors to ask a question. Neat Ah. It has consistently been this way.

Answer 3

Here ya go then,hope ya like it.

A young man walks into the stage of 'Stars in thier eyes', on crutches, with a plaster cast from his feet to his hips.

Mathew Kelly introduces him as Simon.

'Please tell the audience what happened?'

'Well' replies Simon 'about a year ago, I was driving with my uncle, when we a really bad accident.
Unfortunately my uncle was killed outright but I survived.
I was trapped in the car for six hours before I was eventually cut free.'
'The doctors had me in surgery for 12 hours but they could'nt save my legs.'

'That's terrible. But I see you have legs now. Are they artificial?' Asks Mathew.

'No Mathew, while I was in hospital, the doctors informed me that that my uncle had in fact died, but that his legs were fine and with all the advances in medical science, they could graft the bottom half of his body onto mine,
As you can see, the operation was successful. I have been walking fully again since the end of last year.'

A huge round of applause erupts from the audience.

Kelly responds with; 'that's an unbelievable story.
So to night, who are you going to be?'

'Tonight, Mathew,,, I am going to be









Simon and Halfuncle.'

Answer 4

yeah but u just wasted 5 pts and u dont even have a joke! kinda hippocritical...dont ya think?

Answer 5

If u r an Indian then read this.Ek tha Raja,ek thi Rani khatam kahani.

Answer 6

MARTHA MARIA FIGUEROA DELACRUZ DE LOS SANTOS DE EL CAMINO DE LA REINA
15 South Projectos , Apartamento El Baisman
El Bronx, Nueva Jork, wung wung for sero sero
SELULA FON: [phone] (today is terned off but I will get de monee (tumoro)
FON DE LA CASA: Neybor's fon, [phone] (just ask for me and they will yell for me)




OBJECTED:
Juan day (maybe after dis job) I wanna opin a Day Kare in mine own apartment for teng kidz.



SKELLZ:
I wash my sisters kidz wheng she goes to de dancing at 'Latin Quarta', I shange the kidz pamperz, misk de milk and shocolate Quick in da botella whilg I wash de novelas at de saing tine.

EJUCACION:
I grajuaded from fif
grade.
Deng I grajuated from aighf grade.
Deng I learned alot from my tia Juana,
she let me quit skool so she cood show me to babysit my cozins, Juan, Pito, Tito,Flaco, Papo, Chavela, Chavelo, and Yvette (pobrecita, she dunt even nose who her papi iz!!!)

WORK ESPERIENCE:
Wheng I got tired of babysittin, I woked in a fabric a sowing and stealing dresses.

Reason for leabing: My jefe Hector, tried to hit on me and his lady Luz Maria' caught himg.

Deng I got anofa jub at B.I.M. storez , i wuz eng charge ! of folding de genes.
Reason for leabing: Tio Juan died in my other country and I hadda go to de funeraria.I din't no him, but I hadda go ova dare, you know, for mortal support and all dat. So anywhey, my jefe got mad and fired me.

Deng I stayed home and sold ' Avon ' cosmeticos. I hadda to quik becose I orderd too mucho stuff for my familia and dey didng
paid. So weng ' Avon ' axed me furr de monee I didng hab it.

My last jub was at "Mi Baby Papi Chulo Day Care" I wached all the kidz for all the moders who hadda get on welfel.

REFERENCES:
Jus call the payfon ecross de estreet and ask anywung ebout MARIA LA LOCA, eberyone know me and dey tell ju all ebout mee

Answer 7

Middle age is when you know your way around but don't feel like going...lol

Answer 8

once luv and kush were travelling thru forests.
luv suddenly fell in a pit.why?bcoz luv is blind.
kush follows him into the pit.why?because luv ke liye sala kuch bhi karega

Answer 9

a white couple got a black baby
husband asked his wife how we got black baby
wife replied u hot i hot so baby burned

Answer 10

Q. Whats the last thing Hitler said to his men before they got in their tanks?




A. ok men, GET IN YOUR TANKS!!!!!!