Am I Wrong?

Question

I live with my daughter & her husband. My daughter had her first child, my first grandchild. I take care of my grandbaby so they do not have to pay for day care. I spend more time with my grandchild then either parent does, I even stay up with him at night so they can sleep, I also, clean house, fix the meals, do the laundry, take out the trash, feed the dogs & do anything I can to help out. I do not mind doing these things since I have no income to contribute to bills. My problem is, I'm not allowed to voice when I feel something is wrong without being reminded I do not work. My son in-law is a slob, and he feels the only way to dicipline the dogs is to beat them! We have talked about this and I ask him to stop. He is a person who thinks he is "never" wrong! With the last dog beating, my daughter & I argued and all she said, he is my husband, so I moved out. I love my daughter & grandbaby very much, I'm afraid he will dicipline the baby the same way someday.
Am I wrong?

Answer 1

I'd be concerned too, sounds like you are a dream come true, I'd do anything to have any help with my babies, hard to believe they don't appreciate you!
First off, call the spca and have him charged with animal cruelty, if that doesn't open his eyes that he's doing wrong, Keep an eye out, the day may well come when you find your daughter or grandchild are being physically abused, be ready to lay charges and file for custody - if your daughter is blind to the problem now, she may remain so - hopefully though, if he does lay hands on the poor baby, her maternal instincts will kick in and she'll take the appropriate measures...
Since you have been the one raising the child to this point, you may even sue for custody now. Good luck!

Answer 2

Oh my goodness.. that is terrible! I don't think you are wrong at all. Coming from a *random* point of view, I feel at first horrible for the dog! People that cannot treat their pets as a living, breathing, thing with emotions should not have them. I would get that puppy out of there!

As for the Grandchild, I think you are in good sense to worry. Some men pick on defenseless creatures as a result of stress or just plain meanness- I can't think of any other explanation! Maybe take your daughter out to lunch and explain your concerns in the least confronting way possible.

Good luck!

Answer 3

You're not wrong for having these kind of feelings because the way your son is behaving is waving a red flag in your face! Talk to your son-in-law and tell him how you feel! It seems to me that your son-in-law has a lot of growing up to do and doesn't enjoy admitting that he's wrong sometimes! Besides, if he treats your grandchild the same way he treats his dogs, then you're going to do something about it before someone gets hurt! You did the right thing by moving out and letting them handle it themselves! Good luck!

Answer 4

No, you are not wrong for wanting to voice your opinions. Just because you can't pay rent, doesn't mean to have to tape your mouth shut. You contribute to the house in other ways. (It's like a housewife. She doesn't pay bills either, but she brings value to the household in other ways.)

Wacking a dog with paper doesn't make you a monster. However, if you see that his wacks are actually abusive beatings, I think that's an issue and very well may surface when it's time to discipline the kids.

Keep an eye out. If you see abuse with the kids call social services.

Answer 5

Turn this idiot in to the humane society . Think about the poor dogs. How would you like to be beat everyday. PLEASE DO THIS OR GIVE ME THE INFO AND I WILL DO IT FOR YOU IF YOU CANT BRING YOURSELF TO DO IT>
I am on your side. They are both ignorant to USE you this way. I think you do plenty enough to earn free room and board.
OR do NOTHING and wait till he beats your daughter and grandchild and kills them. How will the kid feel when she/he sees the dogs all bloody and beaten when they are old enough to understand. YOUR DAUGHTER needs help too if she lets this go on and does nothing. MAYBE she is afraid of him.

Answer 6

No you are not wrong at all. He has no right to raise his hands to the animals. You did a lot for that family and for them to treat you like that is wrong. You did not have income but you did work a lot around that house. You should move out and still have your daughter come to visit you and bring the child but I would not welcome that man to my home. If he does raise his hand to that child once I would call the police and animal rights and have his butt thrown in jail. Your daughter may be mad at you but you protected that child.

Answer 7

hate to say it that's the first sign of an abuser and i would call the animal control on him and as for them not giving you any credit you can live with me and take care of my kids and and you can have al the say in the world...but in all seriousness call the animal control let them know what you have seen and they will do a check up and the next time you hear about it or notice that the dogs are hurt in any way call them back. keep on this trust me i know my 1st husband beat the dogs as a way to discipline and then it turned to me thank god not my kids.. got out before that happened.. praying for you ...god bless

Answer 8

No, you're not wrong but I think they are ungrateful. They are relying on you for everything. You are a built in nanny, housekeeper, etc and they are treating you as such- they aren't treating you like part of the family- they are treating you like a servant. They'll find out the hard way how hard it is to care for a child, plus work outside the home, plus cook, clean, etc.

Answer 9

You're right. For starters, your son in law should be reported for abusing animals.

Tell your daughter that you're ready to accept her and the baby any time that she feels threatened by this abuser.

Answer 10

Are you wrong NO. Is it appropriate NO. It is their house and their rules. If it was your house you could make the rules but its not. You can express your opion as much as you want but its their decision. I'm sorry that its like that but things will work out. If he does use corporal punishment you could always turn him in, but you know that will drive you further away.