my boyfriend is jealous of my male friends. When I went out drinking with 2 of my girlfriends & 1 of my best guy friends, he was angry that I was with this guy. He kept trying to one up him since he thinks this guy likes me. He doesnt like me hanging out with him bc of this, but Ive told him I dont have feeling towards this other guy like that so he shouldnt be worried since even if my friend does have feelings for me, nothings going to happen. He is still sore about that (1 mth ago), and now he is rather jealous/angry that I am meeting w/a guy from class to study for tomorrow's test. He thinks its a "study date" since we are meeting @ 7pm, but we're going to be at the library. I think he is overreacting & in my mind it makes me feel like he doesnt trust me. Ive never cheated on him, he has no need to worry. I dont see anything wrong with what I am doing, but he feels that I shouldnt go tonight since it makes him uncomfortable. I love him, but im sick of this. Whats your opinion?
2007-02-08 05:12:35 · 8 answers · asked by kitty10185 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Jealousy does feel like distrust in a relationship. It might not have anything to do with you. Maybe another girl cheated on him or maybe he had a friend or parent that went through a relationship with cheating involved and that scares him.
I don't go for guys that try to control my life and who I socialize with - and if I needed help studying and the person to help me was a guy, I would study with that guy (particularly in the library).
Ultimately this is his problem. He either needs to trust you (in which case your relationship has a future) or he must come to terms with the fact that such distrust in a relationship will kill it. For your part you need to be honest and reasonable and live your life. If you allow him to control your life and dictate who you can and cannot see he will never learn to trust you and will continue this behavior for the life of your relationship.
Peace!
2007-02-08 05:22:47 · answer #1 · answered by carole 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough relationship! I have had such an experience, and it's painful and frustrating! Apart from the jealousy factor, how do you like the relationship? Answer yourself honestly. Suppose he wasn't the jealous type, is everything else going good in your relationship? Are you happy? Is HE happy? How long have you been dating him? Years, months, weeks.... maybe you are yet to know each other well? Maybe he was cheated on before, or has lost trust in girls, or maybe something you do is making him insecure. Look at the whole situation honestly. What role do you play in the situation you are in.
I would say give it another chance if everything else has been going well. If it still doesn't improve, let him go, because life is simply not worth someone taking our peace of mind away, feeling like you are caged, and not being able to be yourself.
First of all, keep reassuring him. has he been hurt in the past? Have a talk with him. That's very important. Ask him why he feels this way? Tell him how much you love him, and you are never ever going to betray him. That he is going to hv to put his trust in you, if both are to hv a peaceful, and fulfilling relationship. Do you also show jealousy when he hangs out with his girl friends? If you are also stopping him in some way, maybe you need to stop that.
Always stay in touch with him, even when u r out. Talk to him, in the presence of your male friend, so ur BF knows that u r not hiding or being secretive. Invite his girl pals, and your male pals home, so everyone knows everyone. In the presence of ur guy pals, show affection to your BF. This will make him feel secure.
When u go meet ur guy friends, invite your BF also.
All the very best.
If despite trying ur best, nothing improves...then you can make a a decision to let go.
2007-02-08 05:27:00 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In all honesty, I wouldn't worry about it. This intense jealousy stems from how much he wants you to be his and his only. He obviously really cares for you and wants you to have whatever you think is best. There's a catch in that, that if you think he's best, he doesn't want YOU going around hanging out with other guys only to find that someone else is "better."
So here's what you do.
Sit down with him and deliver an ultimatum. Tell him that you love him but that what he's doing is ridiculous. Point out that love does not grow jealous, and that if he really loves and trusts you, he'll have no need to be jealous of this guy, or any other guy. Reassure him that you love him and you want to be with him, and that you're seriously only going to see this other guy to study. If your boyfriend could help you study, obviously you'd study with him, but since he can't for whatever reason, you have to get your studying done so you have to go see this other guy. Tell him that if, for any reason, the guy you're going to study with ever does anything that feels like an advance on you, you'll bail out, and call your boyfriend immediately.
Finish by telling him that if he can't trust you with something as simple as studying, the two of you will have problems way worse than this further down the road.
2007-02-08 05:22:38 · answer #3 · answered by Remi Hime 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a jealous boyfriend always a jealous boyfriend. My husband is jealous of everyone I talk too. Even the females, and I have no idea why. He's so worried that I am going to cheat on him and be with someone else. It really bugs me. My best advice for you is to get away from him before he gets any worse. You don't deserve that.
2007-02-08 05:16:41 · answer #4 · answered by Torey♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's being protective, not jealous. Guys know other guys. If he thinks your guys friend is interested in more than "studying", then he's probably right. If possible, you should invite your boyfriend along when hanging out with your friends and watch your guy friend lose interest.
2007-02-08 05:23:25 · answer #5 · answered by djt0704 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think its a matter of he don't trust you. I think its a matter of he don't trust your guy friend. Even though you don't like him, doesn't mean the he doesn't like you. I've been in the same situation b4 as your bf. I later found out that every time this guy friend of my fiances called her he always asked questions about our relationship like if we were happy together, if we were still together...etc. Found out later that this guy friend had a crush on my fiance. Hope this helps!
2007-02-08 05:27:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a jealous partner is a difficult thing to live with. It doesnt mean that they dont love you or dont respect you...it's something that they cant control well. tell him to take a deep breath and smile cuz you love him and have faith that he can work through his emotions calmly and practically. women have to deal with men all the time...half the world's population is men! peace
2007-02-08 05:22:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should let him go so you can have freedom with your friends
2007-02-08 05:16:35 · answer #8 · answered by Destiny W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋