While chatting with my boyfriend of six months (it was six months sunday although he didn't realize or really care too much about that) I discovered that he didn't know my birthday. I asked a few other questions he should know and discovered he couldn't tell me my middle name, parents names, or the last job I had before grad school. He sets aside a lot of time to spend with me, got me extremely thoughtful Christmas gifts that indicated he'd been paying attention to all of my little likes and dislikes and is otherwise thoughtful. He even took me to meet his parents a few weeks ago. Still, he never takes initiative- meaning taking me out on dates or planning activities. Is he just not that into me? Is the middle/name birthday thing not a big deal?
2007-02-08 05:11:25 · 16 answers · asked by Kelly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If it's a big deal to you, then it's a big deal. Personally, I wouldn't sweat it.
2007-02-08 05:15:12 · answer #1 · answered by poohb2878 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How do you honestly feel about him? This could be the reason you are asking questions, about whether he is committed.
You obviously feel a bit neglected- him getting gifts though nice is scarcely atypical of a boyfriend. I think its entirely possible that he has burned by a relationshp before and he doesn't want to go too fast and too far. I think he genuinely cares about you, and wants to make a committment but is scared of being rejected in any way.
Have a talk with him, that is the best thing I can advise. Reassure him how much you like him, and then tell him pointedly you aren't doing anything that weekend, or spend ten minutes swapping facts.
He likes you a lot, but the one thing which would make me a bit uneasy is the whole forgetting the six months thing, which after all is pretty big- and that could be why he is ignoring it.
Don't give up on him just yet.
Best of luck to you both
2007-02-08 05:19:44 · answer #2 · answered by Alexandria 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Kelly, you're making a typical female error - you're overthinking things!!!!
Your boyfriend spends a lot of time with you.
You've met his parents.
He brought you a really thoughtful Christmas present.
He knows all of your likes and dislikes.
He goes out on dates and activities all the time (you have to plan them, but he has no problem with going along with your plans!)
You're in A GREAT RELATIONSHIP!!!
Why look for imaginary problems???
So what if he doesn't remember your middle name?
Who cares if he doesn't remember your birthday or your "six month anniversary" (whatever the hell that is - the "anni" in "anniversary" means YEAR)???
So what if he doesn't remember every minor detail of your resume (is he your boyfriend or your boss - why does he even need to know that)???
Honestly, only women care about stuff like that!!!!
Kelly, your in danger of being one of those nagging obsessive codependent girlfriends that push good men away!!!
Relax, take a chill pill, and be glad you have a loving boyfriend who obviously thinks of you as wifey material!!!
2007-02-08 05:22:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I make it a point to know the middle name of any girl I've ever kissed (regardless of whether we're "dating" or not) that's just my thing. I'm horrible with birthdays though. Have these things even come up while you're talking? I'm horrible with names and dates. Maybe he is too.
2007-02-08 05:20:49 · answer #4 · answered by PastaKing 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's only a big deal if you let it be a big deal and eat you away inside. An idle mind is a devil's playground!
Talk to him like you're sharing with us now and resolve things before they get compounded in time. Good luck and keep us posted!
2007-02-08 05:20:30 · answer #5 · answered by down2earth 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me he needs to have a little more interest in the small things that make a big and better relationship. I know just about all of my friends birthdays and all of my family members and I'm a guy! Women are usually best at this?
2007-02-08 05:16:29 · answer #6 · answered by gary t 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am a forgetful person, so give him some slack here.
But here is the important part: How important is it for you to have a partner that remembers details? If you think it is important, you'll probably always resent this guy.
My mom told me that no man is perfect, you have to choose if you can live with his imperfections. If this is a big one, you'll have to find the next imperfect guy and decide if you can live with his faults. Let's face it: You and I aren't perfect either. (Well, maybe you are...I don't believe we've met)
2007-02-08 05:17:49 · answer #7 · answered by Queen Lear 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As much as most men would like to be able to say they know all about their signifigant others, they really don't. Part of the reason is litterally because most guys don't pay attention to that kind of information until later when they really think they need it! For a lot of guys, theri gf parents names as well as gf middle names aren't that important say, until the wedding preparations are underway! As to the lack of initiative, well, he sounds from your description as if he really doesn't care about a "relationship" all that much. Otherwise, he'd be talking to you all the time, asking what you'd like to do for dinner(or NOT do for dinner for that matter), basically spending "quality" time with you. Not "quantity" time with you. So yeah, it sounds like a slightly big deal to me. Then again, that's just me!
2007-02-08 05:21:31 · answer #8 · answered by mangamaniaciam 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hello, don't think it's a big deal but it is a cause for concern.
2007-02-08 05:16:08 · answer #9 · answered by dymps 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to start looking for a new boyfriend because obviously this one doesn't care too much or pay you too much attention and yes it is a big deal he should at least know your birthday.
2007-02-08 05:19:06 · answer #10 · answered by Honey 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋