Ladies, why do we never like the guys who like us?

Question

A little over two months ago I met what I thought was the man of my dreams. Unfortunately, he turned out to be a liar. Needless to say we broke it off. I won't lie I was crushed but hey, life goes on. The very next day I met a new guy who really seems to be into me but I just do not like him. I know some of you may be thinking that the reason I can't get into Bachelor #2 is because I'm not over Bachelor #1. I can assure you that's not the case. This has been happening to me for years. If you feel my pain, please help me understand.

Answer 1

We like guys who don't like us purely because we want what we can't have. It's a challenge. Needless to say, if Bachelor #1 hadn't turned out to be a liar, if he had started to truly care about you, you would have dumped him. I know you don't believe this to be true, but you would have.

Now Bachelor #2 is pursuing you. You don't trust him. You think he's playing a game, or you may just think that he's not your type at all. And that's ok. It has got nothing to do with Bachelor #1.

I think you may be paying too much attention to relationships right now. Give it a rest for now and see what happens. You may find men who you are interested in who can return the affection.

♠

Answer 2

Well, to answer just the first opening headline, I would say that occurs with not only women but also men. My answer; we aren't always realistic in what we set our sights on. The rest of what you said has lots of possible causes. Had you really let go, by the very next day, of all the "stuff" going on in your mind about the first one? Maybe you weren't being receptive. On the other hand, was there an attraction on your side toward him, was there something very different about the second guy? Are you finding yourself more interested in guys that do not show as much interest in you? (That's pretty common BTW) What are some of those old expressions? Unwrapping candy, if it's too easy it doesn't taste as sweet. Something harder to win must be at a higher level right? Not always! Anyway, be careful and go for what is good for you, not what is familiar. If you find yourself in relationships where men don't seem to be as interested in you and then find them cheating repetitively, maybe you need to think through where your desire for rejection, or need to win acceptance and disprove rejection, is coming from. Sometimes, what is familiar is not always the best thing.

Answer 3

I know exactly how you feel. I have been in the same type of situations. Sometimes it just takes a lot of searching to find the right guy who is in to you also. Most of the time i wound up dating guys that were into me but I really had no interest in. Mostly I say its just luck of the draw. I mean there are to many people on the planet to find the perfect person right away. A lot of men look at a women and don't see the all her potential. Same with women. You can't just start dating a person and all of a sudden know everything about them. Attraction works in weird ways.Just becaue the guy you are crushing on doesn't want to date you now doesn't mean that won't change when he gets to know you better.

Not sure if i made much sense...but yea...

Answer 4

Because when we wanna MOVE ON, we really meant like
NO MORE MEN for awhile.

I was hurt by a guy so bad... in year 2000 and after that broke up...
I decided to move on and be independent, forget about marriage,
forget about having kids... and work on career and stuff...

But in 2002 there this nice guy told me he LIKES me, but
I already hypotize myself that I won't be with any more men...
and I already plan out my life and made a list on what I
was going to do to get a career and buy myself a house and
stuff....
And I just ignored the nice guy and everybody thinks I
am a terrible HEARTLESS person. But I am not, I
don't know why people don't understand me.

And my whole plans got screwed up anyway... and my
reputation is bad... now I am at home... and BORED.

Answer 5

The reason I got caught up in that was because I just hadn't met the right guy. The right guy wouldn't smother me but he wouldn't forget about me either. The right guy would have the balls to tell me I'm not being the nicest yet wouldn't be a dick to me constantly. It's just a matter of trial and error. I liked the hard boys cause to me they represented strength and individuality. But at the same time they were kind of assholes. That I didn't like. Once I met the right guy things went better. Things I normally found overly cheesy weren't so cheesy anymore. And I loved that he could stand up to me.

Answer 6

it's cos if you don't have to work for it you subconciously think that you're selling yourself short! it's like if you saw a louis vuitton bag on sale for $2 you'd automatically think it was c.rap or there was something wrong with it (even if it was genuine, you'd prob think it was a fake, without even checking it out first!) it's like u always assume the more expensive beer is better when you're buying....as well if they act like they like you too early, a) you're probably not sure yet if you like them back b) even if you do like them, what do you want more, something you can have instantly or something you have to wait for for ages (if we talk about handbags again, isn't the one that you have to keep seeing in the shop while saving up for,having the uncertainty that it might be sold at some point, that much better??) LOL i sound like such a handbag obsessive here! you know what i mean though, everybody wants to feel that they somehow got fabulously lucky when they hooked up with whoever they are with, rather than feeling that they just settled. if something's hard to get you automatically think that it's worth more i guess...

Answer 7

i don't know things like that happen to me all the times. is it because when choosing a guy we focus more on their appearance than in their quality in their personality. it's something that i just can't explain and yet we make that mistake all the times going after the wrong guy while Mr right is right there next to us or in front of us. girlfriend if u find out please let me know.

Answer 8

u are not intrested in a guy who treats u well...and deep down u r not over guy#1 be friends with guy #2 and see where it ends up...u never know u might miss something good in ur life

Answer 9

U KNOW THEY SAY U R WHAT U ATTRACT. I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM OR EITHER THE MEN R MARRIED OR TAKEN. SO WE HAVE TO GIVE OFF A VIBE THAT THE GUYS WE WANT WILL COME TO US. SO WE HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IS IT ABOUT US THAT THE GUYS WE LIKE DON'T SEE OR AREN'T ATTRACTED TO US. ITZ CALLED LOOK N THE MIRROR. U WILL FIND THE ANSWER.

Answer 10

Sounds like you like the hunt.

unfortunately some day your going to want to make a home.

Have your fun. And pick your man, sounds like your smart and you know what you need in a husband and father.