2007-02-08 04:57:22 · 15 answers · asked by Chichiri 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Okay...
So there's this guy who goes over to his friend's house. He's picking the guy up because the gang's got some place to go. While waiting for his friend in the living room, he sees his friend's grandma sitting on a lounge chair and there's a bowl of nuts on the center table. Then, the guy asks if he could have some. The grandma says, "Go ahead! It's good!" So the guy eats. He finishes and says, "Mmm!!! Those sure were good!" The grandma says, "Oh? Where they? I didn't know they were good... You see, I just suck the chocolate from the M&Ms and put the nuts back in the bowl."
2007-02-08 04:59:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 4⤋
A little "off color" but this joke always gets a bunch of laughs when I tell it:
Sylvia and Irving are getting married, and Sylvia tells Irving that everyone in her family has always gone to Miami for their honeymoon. They are short on funds, so they decide to take a bus.
The night before the wedding, Sylvia's mother reminds her of the tradition that all the women in the family have always waited until they were in Miami before consumating their marriage.
So, after a lovely wedding and reception, Sylvia and Irving hop on the bus expecting to arrive in Miami about 36 hours later, with one motel stop along the way. Irving, trying to be a very patient husband, unfortunately finds he can think of nothing else but arriving in Miami and becoming "man and wife" in the true sense. So when they stop that night at the motel, he begs Sylvia to reconsider. Although equally tempted, she stands firm in keeping the tradition, and she and Irving get separate rooms.
Next day, back on the bus, 10 hours later and still 8 hours from Miami, the bus driver gets sick. The bus company promises to send a replacement driver in the morning, so Sylvia and Irving spend another agonizing night apart at a motel.
In the morning, they're off again on the bus with the new driver when, unbelievably, the bus breaks down about 4 hours from Miami. Even more incredible, the bus needs a special part that has to be overnighted, so the driver informs all the travelers that they have to spend yet one more night at a motel.
As Sylvia and Irving go to check in, Irving wearily requests 2 rooms, but Sylvia interrupts and says to make it just one room. That night, Sylvia and Irving have a wild and passionate evening of lovemaking and, finally, they are literally man and wife. The next morning, after the bus is repaired and as they board, Irving adoringly looks at his wife and asks her why she changed her mind, though he's happy she did.
"Well," Sylvia says "when we were getting off the bus last night for the third time, I overheard one passenger complaining that by the time we get to Miami, the f***ing season will be over!"
2007-02-16 02:47:47 · answer #2 · answered by Adios 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do you throw a drowning American?
His wife and children!
just kidding
Racism is wrong
That joke is normally used for another race,but i felt Americans were probably the closest to seeing it as a joke than anyone else.
They are used to jokes ; take Geo.W.Bush for e.g.
lol
just a joke guys
2007-02-16 10:25:01 · answer #3 · answered by buddybottle_australia 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There was an English, Spanish, and Chinese prince and all of them wanted to marry this Jamaican princess. The Jamaican princess said she would marry the one who would go around the world 5 times in 160 days. The English prince went around the world according to the princess, the Sapnish prince goes around the world 7 times in 160 days, and the Chinese prince goes around the world 160 times in 160 days. Both the other princes and princess are amazed and how ask him how he did it and the Chinese prince says: Me Chinese, me no dumb, me stick cocaine up my bum.
*I'm not being racist or anything, my friend just told me it.
2007-02-16 12:59:46 · answer #4 · answered by kunversita 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are some good blonde jokes on another question just before yours, check these out. Just put in the words, blonde jokes into a question.
2007-02-15 05:56:51 · answer #5 · answered by Mr. PDQ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Q: How man cats does it take to fill an empty box?
A: just one after that it's not empty anymore!
i've got one more for ya
Q: Did you hear the joke about the sidewalk?
A: It's all around town :)
2007-02-08 13:11:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man goes hunting, he shoots at a bear and misses. The bear get's angry and chases after him. The man runs away then trips over a log, the bear picks him up and the man says..."God...please make this bear a christian!"
The bear puts the man down as says, "God thank you for the food you have blessed me with...amen."
2007-02-08 13:42:40 · answer #7 · answered by Tango29er 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
There are 2 muffins in an oven, the first muffin turns to the second one and says "Man, sure is hot in here"
The second muffin turns around and says "OMG! A talking muffin!!"
hahahaha yeah,its funny...laugh...you know you want to
2007-02-08 13:04:07 · answer #8 · answered by ηєvєrmorє 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Q: What's worse than a chauvinistic male?
A. A woman that doesn't listen.
2007-02-08 13:10:46 · answer #9 · answered by jerk19magnet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What did the snail on top of the turtle on the beach say?
"WEeeee!!!"
2007-02-16 01:34:22 · answer #10 · answered by arrowedsword 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋